uwu-sksk

[uwu-sksk]

Events

Okay, so school started on  September 5. That week was not very significant. 

Bro, I thought this event was the 12th but apparently, it was the 17th, whatever. It was an A day and last period, picture day and I had gym. Since pictures are taken in the gym we were in the pac and didn't have gym class. So my friends and I were sitting down talking after taking our picture when a new kid walked in. 

I got a whole good vibe when he walked past and then he sat in the back corner by himself. I was trying to get my friends to come with me because he looked lonely and I wanted to talk to him because even though social interaction is terrifying he didn’t have friends and I wanted to be nice. After like 15 minutes of convincing 2 of my friends to come with me, we went and spoke to him. He was really nice, he was tall, he had pretty eyes, green hair, he was an emo, eboy child. He was also a senior and 19. I invited him to sit with me at lunch the next day and I was so excited to make a new friend.

The next day I had math class right before lunch and went to where Maddy, Allen and I always sit. I was looking all over for the new kid and then I saw the green hair and ran over to him. He bought his lunch and then came back to sit with us. And Allen thought eboy was flirting with me the whole time. But I didn’t really see it and I was also oblivious and just happy about making a friend. 

The next day we had gym and eboy and I was walking the lap together when Lauren decided to try and fuck with me and take him away. And Sam was in my gym too and tried doing the same thing. But eboy stayed with me because Sam and Lauren are assholes. I then started having a crush on him which was not good because I thought I was gay and I had a girlfriend even though we weren’t talking. 

That Sunday she broke up with me because I’m “too stressful” she said but it was fine because I moved on and liked eboy. I told Allen and he got pissed at me and continuously bashed eboy but Maddy and my other friend, Tori were supportive. That week eboy asked if I liked him and I said yes and he said he liked me and a bitch was thriving. But he didn't want to date because he said it’d just hurt me when he left and he wants us to be friends and relationships usually end badly. But on Thursday he asked me to come over after school and I went. And I became a hoe, even bigger than I originally thought I was because I hadn’t even known him for 2 weeks like I thought. But I was happy as hell after that. 

The next day I was really excited to see him because of the previous day. I was gonna see him at lunch and gym but I didn't get to. Because the people in this fucking school decided to spread rumours about him because he was friends with me. They told the school he was going to shoot it up and then he had to leave early. I had a mental breakdown that day and missed class cause I was in guidance crying for over an hour. At lunch, people kept saying more shit and I had another mental breakdown and was sobbing while on the phone with my mother. 

Then Lauren and her best friend decided to start with me mid-mental breakdown and say they were gonna fight me and that I was psychotic. The rest of the day I was crying. Except for the last period when Maddy and I got happy for once that day because we got All Time Low tickets. Allen came over after school and tried to keep me happy. And eboy didn't have his phone.

On Sunday I had another mental breakdown and I tried to kill myself. At one in the morning while on the phone with Allen, I was having a mental breakdown and tried to kill myself. My mother and younger sister came into my room and tried to take me to the hospital. But I wouldn’t go and then on Monday we went to the doctor and now I’m going to get help for my brain. 

Today, Thursday, eboy got his phone back and I got really excited. I almost had another mental breakdown. I was supposed to get beat to a pulp by Lauren and her friend but they pussied out. I think he got it back for one of t two reasons, I dressed full on egirl today or it could be because I did a spell last night to see if he was okay. So life at the current moment it okay. 

[uwu-sksk]

Meeeeee

I am gonna try to introduce myself so yeah. Continuing on, I’m currently 16 and a junior in high school. I am confused about a lot and don't know what I'm doing or want to do. Life is a whole mess. 

***TRIGGER WARNING***

I guess I’ll start with how my life started falling apart. Last year I had so many friends and a boyfriend. At the beginning of my sophomore year, I was a decent amount of happy. My friends and I would hang out every week and we’d all sit together at lunch. Every Sunday my boyfriend would come over my house and we’d hang out. And then when mid-September came around, my life started falling apart. My boyfriend (we’re gonna call him Sam), came over and my family went out to the store. Sam and I were home alone and in my room when I went to the other side of the bed to turn on my Xbox so I was laying on my stomach and he decided to crawl over to me. He then sat on top of me while I was laying down. (I was about 100 lbs and he was over 200lbs). He pulled down my shorts and underwear while still sitting on me pulled out his dick and then began to rape me. I told him no and tried to get him off of me but he was double my weight. Halfway through someone came home and he put his hand over my mouth until he finished. I didn’t know what to do so I just acted like normal, the only person I told was my best friend at the time, Lauren. She told her boyfriend Allen and nobody else was told. We just tried to keep it a secret because I was too scared to tell anyone. Shortly after that me and Sam got in arguments a lot and he and his friends began spreading rumours about me. He would hit me and rape me whenever he came over and had the opportunity, and then tell my family I was beating him up, which they believed. He poisoned my family against me and I was too scared to say anything. I didn’t want to break up with him because I was scared and didn’t think anyone else would want me and he brainwashed me into thinking what he was doing was okay. 

My best friend and I began to get distant after this. Because she thought I was making it up so her boyfriend would pity me and leave her for me. In February of 2019, Lauren broke up with her boyfriend. And a couple days later, Sam texted me before school and asked if I wanted to break up. He had a crush on Lauren the whole year and a  half we were together and openly told me. He thought he would have a chance with her now. So I saw that as my chance to escape and said that I wanted to break up with him. Because when I had tried breaking up with him prior he wouldn’t let me and threatened to kill himself. Lauren saw me and him breaking up as me trying to date Allen. So she then decided she wouldn’t be friends with me anymore and started spreading rumours about me. And that I was making up that I was raped and Sam decided to start doing the same. 

Then in March, I came to a new realisation about myself. I thought I was gay. I told my friends and most of them didn’t want me in their life anymore so all I had was, Allen and Maddy. And I started dating a girl and didn’t tell anyone yet. But Lauren told my sister and my sister looked through my texts and outted me to my very homophobic family. My mother screamed at me and so did the rest of my family. They all made homophobic remarks to me and I tried to kill myself. While my girlfriend didn't try to help me through it. By the end of July, we stopped hanging out and talking. On September 22 she decided to end it but I didn’t cry or feel upset really because I had moved on from her already for not talking for so long. 

That's my life falling apart shit hope you enjoyed. 

[uwu-sksk]

Hi

Basically real-life socialisation and expressing emotions is really spooky, so gonna rant on here. I also don't know how to start this and if I should introduce myself or what but this is my first post so yeah.