unofficial-woody

[unofficial-woody]

(reluctantly takes a few and throws them to the rabid bobcat before eating one off the ground) thanks kermit ... you are no longer being hunted by the law

hey why do sting rays give birth

[unofficial-woody]

i couldnt pet the pretty cat ... anyways wait what are you two doing here? come to turn yourselves in for not eating arby’s?

hey why do sting rays give birth

[unofficial-woody]

yeah just heartbroken 💔💔💔

hey why do sting rays give birth

[unofficial-woody]

(is bonked)

hey can someone help a frog out???

i keep getting called “the mom friend” of my friend group and yet they refuse to celebrate me on mother’s day. i feel like i should address this.

[unofficial-woody]

of course (hands him a large rock)

hey can someone help a frog out???

i keep getting called “the mom friend” of my friend group and yet they refuse to celebrate me on mother’s day. i feel like i should address this.

[unofficial-woody]

you’ve carved your jail cell, frog

hey can someone help a frog out???

i keep getting called “the mom friend” of my friend group and yet they refuse to celebrate me on mother’s day. i feel like i should address this.

[unofficial-woody]

Ok ok I’ll wait for you *fucking dies*

Kind of wanna rob Arby’s if their sandwhich bags... my partners aren’t home so fuck it let’s go Mario @low-battery-paxton

[unofficial-woody]

PLEASE I’m not even a cop I’m a cowboy!!!! And I will forgive you of your crimes please just help me !!!!

Kind of wanna rob Arby’s if their sandwhich bags... my partners aren’t home so fuck it let’s go Mario @low-battery-paxton

[unofficial-woody]

NOOO WAIT THATS MY SPLEEN!!!!! That’s it I’m calling for ... backup (he dials a number on his phone) mike please help me I’m speenless..

Kind of wanna rob Arby’s if their sandwhich bags... my partners aren’t home so fuck it let’s go Mario @low-battery-paxton

[unofficial-woody]

I already passed 420 followers so,,

I declare that 428 is the crack number!

Grab ur bowls and light up pals!

[unofficial-woody]

NO WAIT! I’m not fit enough to chase after you!!!! (He gets on a giant fake rodeo horse with a dildo sticking out of the saddle and chases after them on it, morning all the way) WAIT UP!!!

Kind of wanna rob Arby’s if their sandwhich bags... my partners aren’t home so fuck it let’s go Mario @low-battery-paxton

[unofficial-woody]

STOP! You will do no such thing! You’re both being arrested for being too funky in public. And Paxton I KNOW you’re the one who stole my wallet last week in Build a Bear. That money was for ME to buy a NEW VIBRATOR because I left my last one at a water park and I’m too embarrassed to go to the lost and FOUND to GET IT

Kind of wanna rob Arby’s if their sandwhich bags... my partners aren’t home so fuck it let’s go Mario @low-battery-paxton

[unofficial-woody]

W.ell . If you say so *throws a glass bowl to the ground and lights himself on fire*

I already passed 420 followers so,,

I declare that 428 is the crack number!

Grab ur bowls and light up pals!

[unofficial-woody]

*gasps* for me? Thank you! *starts drinking*

pee

[unofficial-woody]

YES MARIO WE KNOW YOU TWERK... but I can’t blame you. It isn’t your fault you got a thicc ass

When you shake your head, are you twerking or nodding?

I’m doing a dance to bring me and my family prosperity

And twerking for my boyfriend, of course

[unofficial-woody]

Ngl that’s lowkey gross maybe I should arrest you too

i’m so happy for y’all! i bet it’s going to be great in the long run. change can be scary but it can also bring great things. (i’m sorry if any spelling errors are in this, i’m lowkey hiding to text this skdnsnnd lmao)

Thank you! I’m trying my best to be happy, too.. it’s a very big change but one that needed to happen for us to be happy... in fact, I think I’m gonna go tell Sull how much I love him because of this, so thank you again!

HEY BITCH COME HERE

[unofficial-woody]

Too bad, criminal (He starts eating the Oreos and spits one out) what the hell is in this?

i’m so happy for y’all! i bet it’s going to be great in the long run. change can be scary but it can also bring great things. (i’m sorry if any spelling errors are in this, i’m lowkey hiding to text this skdnsnnd lmao)

Thank you! I’m trying my best to be happy, too.. it’s a very big change but one that needed to happen for us to be happy... in fact, I think I’m gonna go tell Sull how much I love him because of this, so thank you again!

HEY BITCH COME HERE