fugitiv , 𝚓𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚜 𝚟𝚊𝚕𝚍𝚎𝚣
he needs to let her go. it is the right thing to do. not just for his own sake, but hers as well. he’s not only risking his own life, it’s hers that’s at stake as well. he never gave camila a reason to not trust him, but oh . . . mckenna, it would be enough for camila to push him to the edge. to break all trust. to push him aside. he can’t let that happen. he needs to be needed. THE ONLY WAY OUT, IS TO MOVE UP. he can not let things like this get in the way. and yet, when she asks him to take her home, he can’t help but give in. sigh full of defeat escapes fleshed lips, a little nod is given, lips brushing against her own. weak, weak, weak.
lips parted, dark hues scanning his surroundings, hand in her hair, playing with a few locks while he’s distracted, too busy, worrying about what’s right and wrong. ‘’ yeah, let’s go. ‘’ he says, before he kisses her forehead, hand reaching out for her, practically dragging her out of the club. cold air hits his face, broad arm hooked around her small frame, pulling her close. ‘’ we can go to my place. you’ll be safe there. ‘’ he stops, moment passes by, hands cupping her face, thumb tracing along delicate skin. ‘’ do you trust me? ‘’
a soft smile tugs at the corners of her mouth when he gives in , agrees to go home with her . thereby going against camila , it is a small victory in her book ---- shows her that there is something worth fighting for , that she has a chance and she is not playing a losing game . something she feels like she has been playing for a while . maybe they are ? the chance of getting out of this , of their lifestyle is slim to none . she reaches , gently letting a hand rest against his cheek . thumb brushing over his lips for a second , she knows he is debating it . if giving in is a mistake .
she stumbles after him when he drags her out if there , barely keeping her footing – regretting the heels that adorns her feet , definitely not made for running . a shiver runs down her spine when the cold air hits her face . making her seek warmth and comfort in his arms , wrapping an arm around his middle as he pulls her closer . ❝ i’ll always be safe with you ❞ , it is both a lie and a truth . loving a criminal is dangerous , put her at risk at all time . but being in his arms , is the only place where she feels whole . he makes her feel safe when he should make her feel the complete opposite . gently her hand clasps around his , thumb tracing small patterns on the back of his hand as his traces over her skin . ❝ of course i do ? don’t you trust me ?? ❞
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burypower , 𝚍𝚎𝚌𝚕𝚊𝚗 𝚋𝚕𝚊𝚔𝚎
declan has never been the type of person that could just open up. it’s like there’s layers upon layers underneath naturally angry features. for a while, it seemed like he had the hang of things. his uncle viewed him highly - at least, that’s what declan likes to believe - he got the girl, and they were given their own space to live in. it was as normal as something could get when the world was on fire, but then he shows up. he can’t help but feel like the useless boy he once was.
❛ yeah, i know, ❜ he says with the nod of his head. maybe he can’t verbalise his emotions or figure them out, but there’s always the hope that she’s known him long enough to know that there is some form of appreciation for her presence. ❛ there’s a place a few miles to the south that we didn’t hit last time. ❜ no doubt everything has been picked clean at this point, but the dead are always on the move. if they can’t find anything, at least he’ll be able to waste his energy in a fight. ❛ we should go before my uncle gives us a job. ❜
a soft smile tugs at the corners of her mouth . he is a man of few words with it comes to his emotions , but so is she . to her love was meant to be felt ---- shown , not said . those she had verbalized her love for had left her and she feared others would follow in their footsteps if she told them how she felt . so she kept quiet , letting soft touches tell the tales her lips could not .
she nods as she reaches for his hand , lacing her fingers with his . ❝ lead the way … maybe we’ll get lucky this time , ❞ she could dream , but if she was being realistic she knew they would not come across anything . maybe a can of beans if they were really lucky . she grimaces at the mention of his uncle , she had never liked him and if it was not for declan she probably would have left woodbury already . ❝ we should hurry up then , don’t want to run errands for him again .❞
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burygods , 𝚕𝚞𝚌𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚊 𝚖𝚎𝚛𝚛𝚒𝚜𝚘𝚗
lucinda had always been an observant woman, even at such a young age. she remembered their mother’s distance from their father around the time mckenna was conceived, remembered a man that showed up once or twice when they thought no one was around. lucinda had always, on some level, knew about the affair. she just didn’t know for certain until now.
❛ ❛ give me a little more credit, mckenna. ❜ ❜ wine glass touched her lips but a drink wasn’t taken. she just rested it there for a second before putting it down once again to speak further on the subject. ❛ ❛ nothing happens under my roof that i don’t know about. i know about him. ❜ ❜
the initial feeling of terror is soon replaced by anger . had she gone through her things ? rummaged through the few belongs she had in the room her sister had gracefully offered her when she had no where else to go ? betrayal . yet she too had betrayed her sister , after failing to find the man who undoubtedly was her father .
❝ did you go through my things ? ❞ emotions were not her forte , too often they would consume her . even the tiniest spark could set her ablaze . there was no safe heaven for her , no place to heal . ❝ fuck you ! ❞
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fugitiv , 𝚓𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚜 𝚟𝚊𝚕𝚍𝚎𝚣
he knows no end to desiring her. it’s like a fucking curse - poison, swallowing him whole, eating him alive from the inside. he lies awake in the middle of the night, thinking about her, his imagination running wild. he needs her. needs more of her. all of her. when she’s not around, he’s frustrated. worried. wants to be near her. and when she’s close, he’s intoxicated. out of control. completely and utterly mesmerized. he wants it to end. wants to think again. to function. to stay loyal to camila. to his cartel. but when she takes another step closer, when she tells him exactly what he wants and needs to hear, he can’t help but reach out for her, hands settled upon her waist, her body collapsing against his own with such force. ‘’ then stop playing with me. ‘’ he tells her, warns her, loud and clear before he crashes his lips against her own, full of desire.
he never knew how to be gentle. he never knew what to feel during moments like these. girlfriends come and go. it never bothered him. he never felt a damn thing. but with mckenna - it’s different. he feels everything and it’s messing with his head. he tugged her lips between his teeth, a flirtatious smile given, strong and broad arms wrapped around her waist. ‘’ i can’t stop thinking about you. do you understand me? i need you. ‘’/
she melts into his touch , putty in his hands . softly whimpering as she collapses against his broad frame . every cell set ablaze . for a moment she feels pathetic , how easily she fell into him . he is everything she should not want . but still he is everything she craves . days , even hours , without him frightens her . every time he walks out her front door , might be the last time she sees him . they are not normal , might never be normal . death and destruction too embedded in their lives . hands wander up his chest , soft smile tugging at the corners of her lips as she feels his beating heart beneath her palms . lips crashing as she does so .
a soft almost inaudible moan brushes past lips when he tugs her bottom lip between teeth . hands begin to wander once again , till they rest behind his neck . digits tangling themselves in his raven black hair . ❝ take me home then ? ❞ an unsure request . there is no one else she would even consider going home with . but there is this slight chance that he cannot leave yet , that camila is not finished with him . she hates that she is competing with a cartel leader for his attention . how easily she would drop everything , leave it all behind if he asked her to . but she is not convinced he would do the same .
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❝ half of me has 𝙳𝙸𝚂𝙰𝙿𝙿𝙴𝙰𝚁𝙴𝙳 … . ❞
independent , private and selective original character
LEIA JOSEPHINE MAVERICK
inspired by various first responder shows ©
written by mini , both muse & mun are above 21
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unkulted
currently struggling a bit with having muse for mckenna , i’ll therefor be hiding over on my new blog for the disaster twin : @untwined . this is still my primary blog , meaning it’s the blog my phone is signed onto . but writing wise i’m feeling leia more this weekend .
still struggling with mckenna , so i’m still hiding over at @untwined .
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i fear myself, more than they fear me. still this abyss never swallows me whole. so until the stars find me, this is where i’ll stay — where i’ll remain.
independent multimuse. low activity. managed by louise
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burygods , 𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚗 𝚋𝚞𝚛𝚗𝚜
he was the last thing erin was looking to find & yet they had found each other. they bonded, it was innocent at first — then something more blossomed between them. erin didn’t mean for it to come between him & mckenna. the drama of it was the last thing she needed.
she sighed. allowed for the other to express her feelings freely, biting her own tongue in the process. her anger was palpable, it was red hot & she could feel it from where she stood. ❛ ❛ do you think this is where i want to be ? with someone that hates my guts over something i had no control over. ❜ ❜ there was a click of her tongue, an exasperated laugh. ❛ ❛ i’m standing here offering some kind of truce so we can try to get out of this alive but you’re too — ❜ ❜ erin stops, an anger & frustration rummaging within her. ❛ ❛ you know what, it’s not worth it. ❜ ❜
betrayal , always the one to be left behind . a second choice . deep down she knew erin was not a fault , the heart wants what it wants - and it was not her . yet it is easier to blame her , to take the heart break out on her . frustration runs freely as she repeatedly brushes her fingers through her hair .
❝ no control over ?! you could’ve walked away . found some other group to stay with , ❞ she snarls , angered by the exasperated laugh . the wound is still fresh , seeing them happy rips it open over and over again . while she is miserable . ❝ i don’t need your help getting out , i don’t need anyone . ❞ trusting people was not worth it , and how could she ever trust erin ?
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currently struggling a bit with having muse for mckenna , i’ll therefor be hiding over on my new blog for the disaster twin : @untwined . this is still my primary blog , meaning it’s the blog my phone is signed onto . but writing wise i’m feeling leia more this weekend .
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fugitiv , 𝚓𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚜 𝚟𝚊𝚕𝚍𝚎𝚣
fallen hero. it is just then when he begins to realize . . . he failed her. broke her. destroyed her in ways he couldn’t even begin to imagine. ruined her in ever way possible. he knew that abandoning her would leave its mark, but he never thought she’d end like this. broken and bruised. destroyed to the very core. he lets go of her, completely frustrated, several large steps taken, away from her as he closes his eyes. he feels nothing but complete rage. something very familiar to him. the same damn rage he felt when he figured out she moved on. ‘’ i didn’t do shit to you. ‘’ he says, no emotions to be found. but oh . . . if only she knew the truth. it is everything he feels. every god damn emotion. and it is swallowing him whole.
her words are sharp, and he knows - it is supposed to hurt him. to break him apart. and it does. it does. but he remains strong, giving his head a little shake, back against the wall, eyes that both threaten and adore fixated on her. ‘’ i went through hell without you, mckenna. ‘’ words escapes him, words full of honesty. but he knows, assumes, she won’t believe them. she no longer trusts him, no longer loves him. no matter what he does, what he says, it’ll never be good enough. it no longer matters. he’s in the past now. ‘’ i need his location. ‘’ he tells her, warns her, again and again. he pushes himself away from the wall, steps taken into her direction, hues settled upon her. he loves her. longs for her. craves for her. every bone inside his body is screaming for her. to take care of her, to hold her, to take her pain away. ‘’ it won’t be you. i won’t let that happen. i can’t risk you. if you love me, give me his location. because at the of the day . . . it’s gonna be him or me. ‘’
fire burns through her veins , fueling her anger – directed at him . every emotion was felt at once , inner turmoil clawing at her soul . when denies the accusation she cannot help but laugh , obnoxiously loud and mockingly . confused feelings messing with her filters . ❝ you practically chased me into his suffocating arms . showed me how little i meant to you , that i wasn’t worth loving … so of course no , you didn’t do shit ! ❞ she snaps . ❝ at least ethan doesn’t lie like you did … making me believe in some stupid fairytale where i would ever be worth loving ❞ she spats as she wraps her arms around her frail body – comforting herself . no longer finding comfort in anyone or anything . a ghost , that is what she feels like . empty and with no ties to earth , nothing grounds her and she just wants to be numb .
he went through hell ? for a second she pities him , unwraps an arm to reach for him – wanting to comfort him . but it soon falls to her side , he does not deserve her comfort . ❝ do you think my life has been a walk in the park ? that i haven’t been through hell without you ?! you don’t get to do this to me .. make me pity you . sympathize with you . you don’t deserve it ! ❞ she cries , frustratedly she combs a hand through untamed lock . she looks away for a second , refusing to look at him . knowing she will falter if she looks at him again . ❝ now you give me a choice .. you or him ? but i don’t know where he is , i was out could when he left … i can’t give you what you want james , because i simply don’t know … ❞ she states , and it is the truth . he always leaves after he is finished with her . but before she can open her mouth again she hears the heavy boots and the familiar , but unwelcome , sound of his keys in her door . frightened her gaze snaps to james , pleadingly she looks at him . ❝ don’t be that man , ❞ slips passed her lips , too little faith he would go against camila – be the better man .
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burypower , 𝚍𝚎𝚌𝚕𝚊𝚗 𝚋𝚕𝚊𝚔𝚎
declan nods and is about to leave to get his gear when a hand stops him in his tracks. glancing down at it, he inhales deeply and attempts to avoid her gaze for as long as he can. eventually, her presence draws him back in and the man can’t help but catch her eyes.
❛ m’fine, ❜ declan mutters. in reality, he’s unsure of everything. things around woodbury are starting to feel off, and with his twin brother now hanging around he feels like he’s being forced to face a life he thought long dead. how can he compete with the perfect son? he hates feeling like he’s once again reduced to the waste of space he grew up to be. ❛ i just need to get out of here for a while. shit’s getting suffocating. ❜
patiently she waits for him to look at her - to let her in , though his hazel eyes may find hers he is shutting her out , and for a second she is scared she is the one who is suffocating him . gently she pats his chest , an attempt to comfort him .
❝ okay - - - - but i’m here .. for whatever you need , ❞ she steps back , allows him to gear up . mindlessly she looks out of the window of their shared apartment , thoughts running wild . ever since ashton returned he had been different , but she never pushed him - praying he would tell her when he was ready too . but she was getting impatient . ❝ anywhere specific you want to go ?? ❞
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I BEAR THE SCARS OF THE PAST ALL OVER ME.
independent, private & selective blog for SHARON CARTER aka AGENT THIRTEEN from marvel. est. march 2021. various media & headcanon based, assigned by west.
BUT THERE’S MORE TO ME THAN THAT.
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fugitiv , 𝚓𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚜 𝚟𝚊𝚕𝚍𝚎𝚣
on the path of murder. no matter what, his loyalty to camila, to the cartel, it goes beyond anything else. he found a home there. for the first time in a really long time, someone needed him. trusted him. admired him. camila saw something in him. he couldn’t betray her, couldn’t abandon her : he simply didn’t want to. but when it comes down to mckenna . . . that’s a different story. she’s marked on his soul. impossible to forget. impossible to erase. he couldn’t hurt her, he wasn’t strong enough, not even for camila. but he could her in different ways. ways he’d rather didn’t but had to. it was either going to be her or someone she cared about. his choice was made without a single doubt.
so when he noticed the marks on her neck, the reason for finding the guy she supposedly fell in love with, changed. he didn’t want to harm the guy because camila ordered him to do so, no - he wanted to harm the guy for what he’d done to her. ‘’ don’t tell me what to do. ‘’ he replies back, another step taken, a firm hold of her wrist, guiding her closer as he takes her in, unraveling her with only his eyes. he didn’t want to care. this was supposed to be an easy job. to neglect her, to find the guy and to get rid of him for once and for all. but now that he sees her, broken and bruised, he can’t help but break from the inside. ‘’ did he do this to you? ‘’ hands begin to tremble, cupping her face, eyes drowning into hers. ‘’ mckenna, you have to listen to me. you have to give me his location. it’s either gonna be you or him - do you understand me? give me his goddamn location. ‘’
like a ragdoll in his hands . no power nor energy to fight back , she lets him guide her closer - hold her . aching whimpers escapes her lips in the process . his touch leaves no sparks , only pain ---- but that is thanks to ethan . there had been no love behind his touch - only anger . yet she had welcomed the distraction , never once had she fought back . because it hurt less than the pain she felt on the inside . ❝ please let go of me ---- ❞ she pleads , still maintaining eye contact , but there is no love . no desire . just numbness . ❝ ---- you’re hurting me . ❞ tears starts to pool in her eyes when he cups her face , demands her attention and forces her to look into his dark gaze . pretends to care - asks if ethan did this to her , it ignites the anger . fuels the fire , she thought she had distinguished a long time ago .
angrily she blinks away the unshed tears . ❝ you did this to me ! ❞ she roars , indirectly he was the cause of the abuse she had endured . when he broke her heart , sent her away and into the arms of her abuser . at least ethan did not toy with her heart , from the moment she met him he was honest about his intentions . he never wanted to pick up the pieces and put her back together . broken beyond repair . ❝ you broke me james ! whatever he may do to me , it never will compare to what you did to me ! ❞ rough hands was all she had ever known , with the exception of the months she had spent with him and she had believed him . believed that life wasn’t just about surviving , but about living . to love and be loved by someone . she had been an idiot , believing she would ever escape the pain . ❝ even if i knew where he was i wouldn’t tell you ... so please , be camila’s little bitch and do her bidding . finish me , it can’t hurt more than what you’ve already done to me ! ❞
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fugitiv , 𝚓𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚜 𝚟𝚊𝚕𝚍𝚎𝚣
and then it hits him. quite painful, the picture that stands before him. her, her, her. broken and bruised. the dark circles underneath her eyes says it all. a lost cause, dead girl walking. she has not changed a bit and yet . . . it’s not the girl he fell in love with months ago. something has changed. she’s different. darker, colder, out of this world - almost. body tensed, heart beginning to beat faster at the sight of her, hues locked and drowning, lips parted. ‘’ where is he? ‘’ is all he says. all he can say. months passed by, no encounters, no phone calls, no texts. not since their last meeting. HE REMEMBERS : her tiny arms wrapped around his waist, holding on to him for dear life. she loved him. and in that moment, he loved her too. he just couldn’t tell her. couldn’t show her.
one step taken, inviting himself into her home, his body slowly approaching hers, colliding with her own, pushing her a little bit further into the apartment. ‘’ you know why i’m here, don’t you? ‘’ his gaze is cold, empty, threatening. he slams the door shut, hues focused on the girl he loves, head tilted, awfully close now. ‘’ where the fuck is he, mckenna? answer me. ‘’
an empty shell of the woman she once was . broken and beaten . rough hands had marked her , claimed her . yet it was nothing compared to what james had done . the physical pain was endurable , distracting her from the unbearable soul shattering pain he had inflicted upon her when he broke her fragile heart . groggily she had opened the door , she did not know how long she had been out this time . the prints of his fingers , both old and new ones , evident around her neck . at first she does not even see him , yet her heart rate picks up as soon as his body comes into contact with hers . when he pushes his way into her apartment , bodies colliding . but he is not her james , not the man she foolishly fell in love with . cold and on the path of murder . ❝ leave now ! ❞ her voice hoarse and almost unhearable . it pains her to talk , she pushes against his strong chest - to prove her point . but it is a pathetic push , muscles sore from when he had taken his anger out on her .
she coughs before speaking up again , ❝ i don’t know what you’re talking about . ❞ it is a lie , somewhat at least - her father had been blowing up her phone for the past two days . told her to pack a bag , leave the country . but ethan , her new lover , had told her to stay put . scared to disobey him , she stayed in her apartment . something she regretted right this moment , when she sees him again for the first time in months . ❝ you have to leave .. ❞ she begs .
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hisbelief , 𝚕𝚞𝚔𝚎 𝚌𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚗
‘ NO, UH NO —- LAST TIME I CHECKED NO. ’ he hopes he comes across more sincere than sarcastic as his quick response ushers the conversation along. guns made him nervous, especially when they were in such close range. he never liked them, not even when the living still owned the streets. carrying far too many heavy memories of being put in situations where they were fired unjustly caused him to distain them. ‘ LOOK I’M REALLY NOT OUT HERE to cause any trouble, okay? I’m just trying to get as far away from the city as possible, I - I don’t know if you’ve been anywhere near recently but it’s kind of a shit show. if I could just get my things, I’ll be on my way and you won’t have to see anymore of me ever again. ’ swallowing hard he wants so desperately to trust his gut and relax into the thought that she wasn’t going to hurt him, but he had been wrong about these things so many times that it was hard to give into it such a weighted chance.
unexpectedly she starts laughing , shaking her head in disbelief . ❝ everywhere is a shit show . cities may be swamped by the dead , but there’s a higher chance of finding food , medicine or other necessities . ❞ where ever one went , they would have a foot in their grave . the living were dying and the dead were living . ❝ and by the looks of it --- ❞ she lowers the riffle , points it at the tossed bag ❝ --- you won’t make it out there for more than a few days . ❞ carefully she secures the riffle on her back , quite sure he will no hurt her . if he wanted to , a weapon should have been drawn already . ❝ so please humour me --- what is your grand masterplan ? - how will you survive on three snicker’s bars , a can of beans and a water bottle ?? ❞ it is a wild guess , the contents of his survival kit . he could have more or he could have less , it did not really matter to her . but he had peaked her interest , how would a normal person survive the apocalypse compared to someone who had lived the horrors half her life .
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