tyrannicalgirl

[tyrannicalgirl]

I was born at a very young age.  I’ve been alive for as long as i can remember, and I hope to continue living until I die.

[tyrannicalgirl]

“a community without romance risks being brutish and crass, superficial and brittle, cruel and even muderous. . . i don’t mean just romantic romance. i don’t just mean erotic romance. . . i mean the romance that allows us to soften our voices when we see each other.”

maya angelou, 1998

[tyrannicalgirl]

from Anthology of Armenian Poetry, ed. & tr. by Diana Der Hovanessian and Marzbed Margossian; "Your bosom"

[tyrannicalgirl]

the ache of nostalgia

[tyrannicalgirl]

Wool wedding dress, c.1895

cr: finnwicks_costume

[tyrannicalgirl]

my hobbies? uhh.. peeling back the layers…. uncovering metaphors.. mirroring…..connecting dots…..stuff like that

[tyrannicalgirl]

Late 60s Early 70s medieval revival part 1

[tyrannicalgirl]

[tyrannicalgirl]

do you have any advice for people who are scared of confronting life and reality

from telephone by percival everett: “You kill yourself because you don’t live in this world.”

i’m sorry to open with the bluntness of this passage— it is the opposite of an imperative but a proposed explanation—also I included the context but don’t take the context too seriously I think the line is better left on its own. all of that said: since it’s such a brutal way to answer an ask seeking advice on something i think needs to be done with like truly extraordinarily levels of tenderness and forgiveness for the self, at least if i’m understanding what you’re asking about—then I think this excerpt is worth including here bc although it doesn’t answer your question it does show what the stakes can be i think. It also really resonates with me because when Im suicidal it’s usually because I think I can’t live in this world. The concept that it’s not that i can’t and just that the nature of being suicidal makes me feel and act as if i’m not a part of this world was really beautiful to me. Im not saying mental illness etc is a choice but that life and reality is accessible to everyone. even if yours looks and feels different. it’s still yours.

i think that you have to confront life and reality because there is no reality if you don’t confront it and less real life for you. The worst part is thinking about the past in which you did not confront it but you don’t need to do and it is only another deterrent to the confrontation… You absolutely don’t need to regret anything to change and i know it’s so hard to figure out how to feel the urgency of your need to confront things enough to confront them without getting stuck in the pain of having not confronted them yet but tbh It just takes practice and all of the kindness you can find for yourself and then even more.Ans time and continued effort. but mostly kindness for yourself. thinking about why you want to confront your life—not bc you want to, plainly, but because you want yourself to be able to live well.—>Because you don’t want more suffering for yourself because you have love and compassion for yourself. it’s this kind of logic at least that has helped me a lot.

i also think everything that you are and everything that you give wants to find its way back to you and love you but if you are hiding from the world you live in it can’t find you very well!! i think it’s about trying to make yourself visible to yourself and then learning how to look without hatred or pain or regret. Also there’s beauty in reality because reality is true it’s not sinister it just is. and you will find all that beauty. also reality and life misses you. you’re good for it and for the world. It wants you in it and it wants you to know it and love it because it loves you. and your continued existence in the world makes the world feel loved. This is why we care about things

I hope this helped at all much much love

[tyrannicalgirl]

Suzanne Rivecca, Ugly Bitter and True

[tyrannicalgirl]

[tyrannicalgirl]

as a child being told "the moon controls the tides" with no additional explanation was like. oh okay. you want me to believe in magic? you're talking about magic right now? okay. fine

[tyrannicalgirl]

april in northern california, 2024

[tyrannicalgirl]

*

mortifying ordeal, etc. 🕊

(claire schwartz / coco mellors)

[tyrannicalgirl]

Vintage 1920's Sadie Nemser dress with lace and floral appliqués

[tyrannicalgirl]

[tyrannicalgirl]

Trying to remember the last time I played hide and seek. The last time I said hi to everyone on the street or saw the girls I spent every day of six years with. The last time my dad picked me up, or my mum brushed my hair. When was the last time I dressed without consideration? There is so much to think about now. I remember falling on the grass at school and making stories with the clouds. Hanging upside down from the swing and realising how big the world was. I wonder on the path of growing when we stop feeling big. I am taller now, smaller still.