tumblebandit

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DO NOT LET SOCIAL MEDIA TURN YOU INTO AN AMERICAN

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Neurodivergent Things

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hey, don’t cry. one half flour one half yogurt knead into dough and fry for easy flatbread and dip in balsamic vinegar, okay?

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A quick, sloppy little comic about Magritte

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i....found a rare shoegaze tape. legit. band does not exist online. tape is at least 20 years old. This is so Sam

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Today in a zoom meeting I said “the only difference between emo and country is whether you love or hate the town you grew up in” and now I’m IN TROUBLE

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You’re eighteen and one month.

That matters, the one month. It’s like when a kid tells you they’re six and a half, just to show you how old they are, only it’s not about being old.

You have only been eighteen for a month.

It’s supposed to feel different, you think. Like things are changing or you’re getting more mature. You think it’s supposed to mean something.

The first job you got was in the ticket office of a pool when you were fourteen. People used to tell you that you looked old for your age.

When you got into college, you were sixteen. People thought you were a genius. They thought you would rule the world.

You’re eighteen and a month now, with four years of shitty job experience and two years of college credits you don’t know what to do with.

People don’t tell you that you look older now. They don’t think you’ll rule the world.

Part of you wants to relax, bask in the relief of no longer being expected to be great.

Most of you, almost all of you, is stomping your foot and saying, “I’m only eighteen and a month. You haven’t given me enough time!”

You have more years left alive than you’ve lived. Somehow, you’re still convinced life ends once you can’t be remarkable anymore.

You’re only eighteen and a month. You wish you could sit on someone’s shoulders like you did when you were younger. Maybe then you could see over all the expectations.

Nothing feels different. Maybe you haven’t been remarkable all along. If something is supposed to change when you turn eighteen, maybe you’ve failed that too.

There’s a voice in your head that begs you to slow down. It feels like a weakness to listen, it feels like accepting defeat. Your mother has started making you breakfast again. She’s worried you aren’t eating.

She tells you, “You’re only eighteen and a month. You sprinted the first mile of a marathon and now you’re too tired to do anything but walk.”

Maybe that’s it. As long as you keep moving.

You’re only eighteen.

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i cannot believe that i am only now learning about the dinosaur king drama

in case you’ve never heard of dinosaur king:

it’s a pretty mediocre anime from the early 90s, that was pretty much just made to market this dinosaur trading card game. the plot was extremely boring (until stuff suddenly started happening around episode 35), and for some reason they decided to have all the dinosaur fights with these incredibly stiff 3d models, which was.. a choice..

all together it was so bad that it’s good (but not particularly good), and kinda forgettable

and then they decided that it needed a remake. they were releasing some new toys, and a video game was being worked on, so in 1999 they released a fucking remake of that weird show

the writers and producers were these two austrian guys, suppenheimer and vemovich

the remake was planned to be two seasons

the original dinosaur king had two seasons as well, the first had 49 episodes, and the second had 30 episodes

the remake was 60 episodes total, and completely ignored season two of the original

suppenheimer and vemovich only retold season one, expanded it a bit, reshuffled some events (namely putting the twist from episode 35 way earlier), giving the characters actual motivations… they actually managed to make the show good

(they still kept in the weird 3d dinosaurs, and the card game tie-ins, because at the core the show was still about marketing the toys)

and then season two ended, neatly tying up the story, and it was genuinely good

and then the network renewed the show for a third season

suppenheimer was done with the show at that point. they only ever wanted to make two seasons, and they had told exactly the story that they wanted to tell, so they were out

but vemovich wasn’t done yet, so he stayed on and wrote season three.

and season four.

and…

the entire remake turned out to be twenty seasons long

and it got weird, lemme tell you

the very first thing vemovich introduced in season three of dinosaur king, the anime about dinosaurs and traveling to the ancient past, was alien space pirates

which i guess makes sense, because they can travel through time, so the future is technically also viable

and then season six was all about one of the main characters becoming a werewolf? which was never fixed, but they also just never mention it at any point after the season six finale

season eleven was all about the love story between one of the supporting cast and one of the antagonists (who had a redemption arc early in season two, but vemovich cast him as a villain again anyway starting in season four)

season sixteen only had one episode where any dinosaurs appeared?? in a show called dinosaur king? and i’m pretty sure they said the word “dinosaur” zero times in that entire season

it was weird, okay, the entire remake was weird after season two

meanwhile, on the forums (and later on twitter), suppenheimer has completely divorced themselves from the show’s production, but they are definitely still watching, and loudly complaining

suppenheimer and vemovich were actually said to be on pretty good terms during the production of the first two seasons, but after that suppenheimer got mean

[id: a tweet by @ cimminimmi from december 2016 that reads “what was the worst show you guys watched this year?”, with a reply from @ suppi_sr (suppenheimer’s twitter) that reads “dinosaur king. for the 5th year in a row.” end id.]

we never really heard anything from vemovich. he was never on any of the forums, and he had a rule of never publicly interacting with any hate whatsoever

so we had suppenheimer just tearing the show down at every point, calling for people to stop watching, and even making several petitions to have the show cancelled, none of which ever went anywhere of course

because we then got season seventeen, which introduces vemovich’s author insert. they are absolutely not subtle about it, the character pretty much goes “hey, my name is vemovich, i’m the guy who is writing this story”

and he just occasionally pops up during the next four seasons

and then season nineteen and twenty are building up to this great unseen danger that is threatening to wipe out the universe

and at the very goddamn end of season twenty, the finale of the entire show, the big threat is finally revealed

so, i’ve said that this entire thing is an anime with weird 3d dinosaurs inserted into it

the big bad, the last villain that was threatening to destroy the fabric of reality… was suppenheimer

a live action suppenheimer, who is greenscreened into the anime world

he is of course stopped by vemovich’s author insert, who up to that point had been 2d animated, but now he is also greenscreened into the show

so the goddamn epic finale of the show is a live action suppenheimer and vemovich fighting, using 3d animated dinosaurs, on this 2d animated battlefield

it looked bad

and then the show is over

but this story is still going

because suppenheimer has spent the last eighteen years tearing apart the show and tearing apart vemovich publicly at least once per week

and then, two years after the show is over

those bastards tweet out that they are married

[id: a twitter conversation between vemovich, suppenheimer, and twitter user abblycidre from october 2021. vemovich is replying “love you, babe” to suppenheimer. suppenheimer replies “love you too.” abblycidre replies “don’t you two have beef?” suppenheimer replies “we can have beef and be married at the same time. it’s fine.” abblycidre replies “married?!” in all caps. vemovich replies “last i checked we’ve been married for 13 years now, yeah”. end id.]

so i guess the tweet where suppenheimer threatened to divorce vemovich wasn’t a joke after all

[a tweet by suppenheimer from june 2012 that reads “@ vemovich. if you don’t stop ruining dinosaur king i will divorce you.” end id.]

suppenheimer and vemovich have been living together for the entire goddamn run of the dinosaur king remake, while suppenheimer was constantly starting shit about the show online

they’ve been dating since before the show even started, and they got married during season nine, and they’ve just been keeping up those personas for twenty fucking years

and i just kinda don’t know what to do with my life now that i know that

what the fuck did those guys’ home life look like?!

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Ma-ia hi

Ma-ia ho

Ma-ia ha

Ma-ia ha ha

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for @tumblebandit, the first place winner of my giveaway!

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someone: prohibition in the united states was largely ineffective, cost millions, tried to force a religious belief on the entire country, only ever resulted in the increase in consumption of alcohol, as well as the increase in police violence, and ultimately failed

people: okay yeah that’s true

someone: the war on drugs is the exact same thing except this time because of the militarization of the police and private prison interests, is much, much more deadly and specifically exists to justify and widely reinstate slavery within the united states

people: what? but drugs are #bad, and we can’t let people use them. obviously this is the only way to deal with this situation

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“poison is the coward’s weapon” boo hoo sounds like someone’s sodium channels are easily inhibited

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THANK YOU FOR 3,920 FOLLOWERS!

Is that a weird number to do a giveaway on? Yes. But I haven't had a milestone in a WHILE, so it felt appropriate!

HOUSE RULES: + must be following me (feel free to follow for the giveaway!) + reblog counts as an entry (you can reblog as many times as you want!) + winners will be tagged in a post and dmed on Mar 1, 2022. failure to respond within 24 hours will result in a new winner being picked for that category

more examples of my art can be found on my commissions page and on my blog under the "DIGITAL" tag!

good luck, and thank you again!

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today im thinking about the huge buff bread guy from kikis delivery service. highly underrated guy

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vampire who turns away in disgust from representations of the holy cross but it doesn’t actually harm her she just resents the omnipresence of christianity in the western world