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These two are amazing!

@x-heesy 💃🏻🕺🏻 Friday vibes!

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Concept: a woman is holding hands with a robot, and the woman is wearing a shirt that says "I like my women like I like my keyboards" on the front and "mechanical" on the back, over an exploded view of a cherry mx brown keyswitch.

The robot's shirt says "flesh lover" in the old recaptcha distorted text style. The back has "select all the squares with the cutest girl" and a 3x3 montage of photos of the woman currently holding her right hand.

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Sluts

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you know what really gets my goat?

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obi wan kenobi + force suggestion

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I’m not allowed back in church after god caught me hotboxing the confessional booth ✊✊💨 I told him “god, if you don’t want me smoking weed, then why the hell did you make this shit so dank???”👀👀 god paused for a sec, looked me dead in the eye, and said “my son, im not mad at you for blazing it…I’m mad at you for not passing that shit!!”🙏🙏🙏🙏🙌🙌🙌🙌 lololol 🍁🍁 send 2 420 ppl or U will never smoke kush again !!!!!!!!!!!!

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yes babe the sex was great but i never finished talking about vampires so i think we need to get back to that

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some of my favourite sign fails <3

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Ugh, was having a great time mocking my recently imprisoned rival when I noticed the camera positioning makes it so that I appear behind the bars, thus framing me as trapped in a metaphorical prison of the narrative, now my whole day is ruined. Fuck.

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“ExcUSE me?!”

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the fact that i'm no longer the same age as the protagonists of novels and films i once connected to is so heartbreaking. there was a time when I looked forward to turning their age. i did. and i also outgrew them. i continue to age, but they don't; never will. the immortality of fiction is beautiful, but cruel.

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