traumatizedsam

[traumatizedsam]

It mattered because this is what he wanted. This is what he saw in me all along

Supernatural//Baby Reindeer

[traumatizedsam]

There's only one option I can't kill the pain so I must kill myself (―Kim Hyesoon, Face of Rhythm)

#samweek2024 Day Five Psychic Powers ｜ Demon Blood ｜ Lucifer

[traumatizedsam]

Stackednatural- 283/327

Bloodlines (9x20) April 29th, 2014

#foaming at the mouth

[traumatizedsam]

Day Four (April 29th): Neurodivergent Sam / Mental Health / Sam & Healing "Ptolemaea" by Ethel Cain // 07x01 / 07x02 / 07x15 / 07x16 / 07x17

#I LOVE THIS #ethelnatural

[traumatizedsam]

SUPERNATURAL  /  Season 12  (pt. 2)

[traumatizedsam]

SUPERNATURAL | 3.03 – “Bad Day at Black Rock”

[traumatizedsam]

[traumatizedsam]

Deep down, i believe the two brothers are both protagonists, and that's a given fact, but i have another more comprehensive reason Sam is the protagonist.

I dont wanna delve into it, but it's something along the lines that Dean has always existed as an ultimate extension of Sam. His standing within the narrative is that of a soldier, not a leader; he exists to protect (sam) and constantly needs an external drive (which sam fills) to do anything.

Dean is also heavily biased and prejudiced. He is not really a protagonist for a story who'd lead/take all under his wing bc he wouldn't. He is definitely a protagonist in Sam's life but not in the supernatural story.

He doesn't hold the axis of the general narrative as Sam does, and as he does hold Sam's.

Yea they both dont make the best selfless protags but Dean is by far the lesser chivalrous out of them, he is also unwilling to take that burden canonly, he HATES taking care of other people his role as a soldier/guardian has always kinda just extended to Sam and ended there that's why he says there's no me if there ain't no you to Sam. Dean IS the ultimate extension of Sam. Without Sam, he ends.

[traumatizedsam]

when you just got back from a 32-hour hunt but sammy absolutely has to show you a magic trick this very instant

#😭😭😭

[traumatizedsam]

east of eden, john steinbeck

[traumatizedsam]

wow I’m still in a pool of 8x23 emotions

#oh🥺 #it is a crime we didn't see dean kiss sam's forehead at least once

[traumatizedsam]

seven scare tactics of horror x sam winchester

Day One (April 26th): Fusions: your culture, field of study, science, space, favourite music/books, interest, etc, & Sam Winchester

the seven scare tactics from "The Book of Horror: The Anatomy of Fear in Film" by Matt Glasby // 05x03 / 04x21 / 02x21 / 04x21 / 04x22 / 05x04 / 01x01

[traumatizedsam]

Sam Winchester Appreciation Week 2024: Day One - fusions

Your dad is always mad and that must be why

[traumatizedsam]

like it is--one of thee wildest parts to me is that sam wasn't... I mean no okay he was suicidal. but he wasn't like wed to the concept of his own immediate death. he was probably clinically depressed and he was extremely willing and ready to die in order to prevent future harm to others, but his expressed wish wasn't just To Die as an end in itself and he literally out loud twice agrees that no okay he'll live then. (I think this is muddied later by the way dean and sam both talk about these moments like dean forced sam to live, but genuinely onscreen he didn't. he asked and sam said okay. dean's requests have an outsize impact on sam but dean didn't actually prevent sam, in the moments he was just verbally asking, from dying. right up until he does force sam into something.)

so i mean. what happens onscreen isn't 'dean prevents sam from committing suicide and that's a problem.' it's 'dean prevents sam from dying in the line of duty, which is fine, and then when sam almost dies anyway dean reviews sam's dnr form which says "okay you can bring me back except not if you have to do it with this one drug. i've tried that family of drugs before and it causes me physical and mental anguish so severe it's not a circumstance I, a rational adult person, am willing to live in. so in THAT case I'd rather not be rescuscitated." and dean, who very specifically can talk to sam because that is how he accomplishes this entire thing, tells the man in a lab coat he found in an alley "ok i'm going to distract him and you pump his veins full of this stuff. we're not going to ask him whether he feels differently now or is willing to try it this one time. he just told me he wants to live so maybe he would budge but we're not consulting him on this. I WILL be holding him down." and then they both kept doing that for months despite the fact that they could at any point have asked sam hey, you seem loads better, do you think you'd be down to try this lifesaving drug now or is that still a hard no?" and that is. in fact. a problem.'

[traumatizedsam]

no grave can hold my body down // i'll crawl home to her

#hoziernatural

[traumatizedsam]

Supernatural S4E03 In the Beginning // S1E01 Pilot

[traumatizedsam]

season nine pinnacle supernatural experience because dean's big crime of the season is being party to sam's thin-metaphor-for-rape & saying the whole time damn sam is going to be upset when he finds out about this. and sam's big crime of the seaon is being upset when he finds out about this.