Sam / Jon | he/they | aboutfollow from @draculagerard tracking #meltingtracks header by @floral-casIcon partially by finalgirlsammy-archive and partially by mewincesties dni
also while we’re on the topic of derealization body horror, i’ll say it again: post-s6ish, Sam should have reflexively referred to his body as his “vessel”. catching and correcting himself, especially around dean and bobby, but slipping up just often enough that we know that’s how he thinks about it all the time.
which could have also lead well into him treating it as disconnectedly as he does. he’s taking care of his vessel not because it is him, but because it needs to hold him, and he only has to take care of it for as long as it needs to do that. in s8, when he starts throwing his health down the drain to the trials, of course he’s fine with it. his soul is what matters, right? his vessel is just there to take the hits and get him to his destination. let it burn up. it doesn’t matter. this is a normal and healthy way to conceptualize his own body.
supernatural if devils' traps had always felt a little sticky to sam -- not actually trapping him, but he could feel where they were and if they were drawn correctly, and they felt like they *wanted* to trap him
sam learning about destiel and immediately thinking "thats cool and all but what if cas and i fucked instead" is truly unrivaled thank you sam winchester
sam winchester not being the top choice of spn fans will always be astonishing to me like we did not watch the same show.have you missed the part when he's an allegory for a daughter and jesus christ and queer people and when his demon gf girlbossed a little too close to the sun and they accidentally freed satan or when he knew the most niche random mythology facts or when he started allucinating the devil and when he heard voices and when he jumped into a pit with the devil to save the world and let's not forget his insanely beautiful tits what more could you ask for.what the fuck you guys are not getting
Because I know what it feels like, to feel like you don’t belong. To feel like there’s this darkness inside of you, to be scared of who you are, what you can do.
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