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promise me you'll stay on this site for 10 more years okay?
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collection of useful things tumblr has taught me:
even if you can't fall asleep, laying down with your eyes closed will still rest your body
you don't have to brush your teeth standing up
you don't have to do any chore standing up, from dishes to showering
you don't have to shower with the lights on
if you can't brush your teeth, flossing and a tongue scraper gets rid of plaque and bad breath
if you can't do that, mouthwash kills a lot of bacteria
eating "unhealthy" food is better than eating no food
you can make the same meal everyday for however long you still want it
some pills come in syrups or chewables if you can't swallow them
kids nutritional shakes can be a quick way to get fuel if you can't eat/don't have time
if walking hurts/exhausts you on a regular basis, canes and rollers are for you, no matter how young you are
we have free will—if doing something "out of the ordinary" makes life easier for you, do it
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Research has shown that pleasure affects nutrient absorption. In a 1970s study of Swedish and Thai women, it was found that when the Thai women were eating their own (preferred) cuisine, they absorbed about 50% more iron from the meal than they did from eating the unfamiliar Swedish food. And the same was true in the reverse for the Swedish women. When both groups were split internally and one group given a paste made from the exact same meal and the other was given the meal itself, those eating the paste absorbed 70% less iron than those eating the food in its normal state.
Pleasure affects our metabolic pathways; it’s a facet of the complex gut-brain connection. If you’re eating foods you don’t like because you think it’s healthy, it’s not actually doing your body much good (it’s also unsustainable, we’re pleasure-seeking creatures). Eat food you enjoy, it’s a win-win.
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the blog killing axolotl is one of my favorite things that has ever happened on this website because talking about it afterwards sounds like an inside joke or perhaps a prank. like always be on the lookout for the blog killing axolotl. he can kill your blog. it happened to me once trust me.
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astarion "i'm a magistrate back in the city" ancunin
astarion + text posts (part 24)
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kiss kiss kiss♡
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toupee-or-nottoupee · 14 days
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so i just learned that people fucking dove inside a god damn iceberg and good to know that even for cave divers, who in my opinion are already a special kind of unhinged, and i say that with all affection, there are people even more unhinged than that
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toupee-or-nottoupee · 19 days
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lord the peasants are so loud today
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toupee-or-nottoupee · 2 months
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Pictured: Gale rolling a nat 1 on his insight check
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toupee-or-nottoupee · 2 months
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i love him a normal amount
also, the runaway kaeya animatic reached 2m a while ago so kaeya art :DD
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toupee-or-nottoupee · 2 months
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what the embers left behind
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toupee-or-nottoupee · 11 months
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Rapunzel, Rapunzel
A/N: I took this idea that I’ve had for ages now and just let my brain do weird shit with it. And it is now nothing like what it started as.  It’s not beta’d or edited and I really don’t give a rat’s rear end. I’m too stressed to deal with my usual projects
Summary: Reader gets stranded on a cliff. Kaeya rescues her
Kaeya x F!Reader
Approximate Word Count: 579
CW: Use of princess as a term of endearment.
“Rapunzel, Rapunzel let down your hair.”
Those were not the words you thought you’d be hearing two days after stranding yourself on a remote cliff.
The job had been easy, you swear, Or rather, as easy as any when Dragonspine is involved. Simply ascend the mountain, find some of the star silver that happens to be laying around everywhere, and return to Wagner.  It’s a job you’ve done too many times to count.
Unfortunately, this trip was the trip that whichever Archon governs luck had decided to abandon you fully and completely.
First, a freak gust of wind stole your glider--the one Kaeya designed for you for your one year anniversary-- and tossed in into a lake where it promptly sunk.
That wouldn’t have been so bad, as far as the success of your mission went. Climbing gear is a staple in your “into frozen hell” backpack, climbing gear that got you up to the little ledge you’re on now.
What you hadn’t planned on was the the entire rig losing it’s grip on the mountain side, falling to the ground well out of reach.
You don’t often curse having a pyro vision. It makes doing jobs in the coldest weather doable. This was one of those times, however, where you were about ready to beg for a vision that delt with something a bit for solid than fire usually is.
Once you lost your climbing gear, you hurried to finish the job before turning to the problem of leaving.
With a pyro vision, you weren’t going to freeze to death, but your vision wasn’t going to get you down either.
Instead, you reached into your bra where one of Kaeya’s gifts spends it’s days. Said gift is a coin, about the size of your vision.
“Melt this and I’ll know you’re in trouble and that you need me. Melt it and I’ll be there.” The cavalry captain had said when he gave it to you.
So you fished it out and melted it.
Two days later, you’re still sitting on the cliff, warm, but hungry, waiting for your little shit of a knight in shining armor to get you down, when you hear the cheesiest line you’ve heard.
“Rapunzel, Rapunzel let down your hair!”
“Oh for Barbato’s sake, Kaeya! Spare me the cheese and get me down from here!”
You roll onto your stomach and hang your head over the edge of the cliff, letting your hair hang over your shoulder.
You boyfriend laughs, saying “Don’t worry, princess, I’ll save you.”
“Just because you’re my rescuer doesn’t mean I can’t kick your ass when I get down there.”
“I’m coming, I’m coming, I’m coming.”
Kaeya spends a moment examining the surface of the cliff face before resting his hand on it. When he takes his hand away a staircase springs into being, following the line of holes that once help your climbing gear.
Within moments of the stairs reaching you, you’re at Kaeya’s side.
Kaeya wraps his arms around you, burying his face in your hair.  
“Are you alright?”
“Better now.”
“You worried me.”
“Then what took you so long?”
Kaeya chuckles. “It took a couple days to locate you, princess. The coin wasn’t as...accurate as I would have hoped. Are you ready to go?”
“I’ve been ready for two damn days.”
Kaeya takes your hand and you walk down the mountain together.
“Rapunzel, Rapunzel---”
“Shut up, Kaeya.”
Even if Lady Luck abandoned you, Kaeya never would.
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The Stanford prison experiment tapes were so stupid when I watched them in AP psych and so stupid when I watch this film about them. Literally they could’ve all sat and played cards and got $15 a day to tell ghost stories all day and be best friends. But masculinity and whiteness and power created this violent irrationality that positioned young ass men to be met with brutality and trauma and disrespect even when it was obviously taken too far. and it makes no sense. If someone put me in a room with Black girls and said I would get paid $90 a day (that’s the equivalent apparently) to be a prison guard, do you know how fast I’d be sitting with them and learning about them and exchanging Instagrams and like.. sleeping.. like what the fuck was the point of any of that…
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Y'all ever experience Depression™️ and glue an entire pack of googly eyes to your vacuum robot?
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My elderly father started talking about how frustrating he finds “the pronouns thing” and I was like. Oh no. He had such a good stand on this, he’s been they/them-ing his cishet siblings for god’s sake! Is he regressing?? And he was talking about how difficult it is to remember, and how onerous it feels to expect strangers to keep track of it, and I’m like oh no oh no.
Then he says, “I mean, the problem isn’t the gender thing. The problem is four words: she, her, he, and him. We got rid of stewardess and turned it into flight attendant. It doesn’t matter if the flight attendant is a man or woman, so we got rid of it. We just need to get rid of those. I don’t need to know.”
“You don’t need to know… people’s gender?”
“No. I don’t care, I don’t need to know, and I don’t want to remember it.”
So we can relax. It’s just a continuation of his crusade to they/them the world. He doesn’t want to remember anyone’s gender. He’s abolishing the genders.
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toupee-or-nottoupee · 2 years
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Archery Lessons
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Requests: can you base something on Haldir teaching you how to use a bow but his brothers are keep on teasing him because Haldir is very much in love with you :) Please? Thank you - 🌙
A/N: I hope you enjoy this anon! <3 
Haldir x Reader
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* * * 
You stood there in silence, trying your hardest to ignore the audience that you had surrounding you. Even though it was just Rumil and Orophin that was here with you, you couldn’t help but be nervous. You had never picked up a weapon, especially a bow. Something that required such incredible skill compared to hacking and slashing more wildly with a sword- which you understood still took skill too. 
Keep reading
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toupee-or-nottoupee · 2 years
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So apparently i had to find out by accident today that stickbug eggs look like tiny pots and they hatch out by opening the lids and crawling out
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