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total-drama-for-real-justice · 7 months

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ttwt episode 1 - part 2

“Last time, on Total Takes World Tour: seventeen teens sat down and buckled up for an all-expenses paid trip around the globe! It’s kind of like a cruise… with the chance to win a cash prize of one million dollars! After busting some mandatory groovy tunes, we flew our crew down to Teotihuacan in Mexico, where they traversed the mysterious tunnels located beneath the world-famous Pyramid of the Sun. And that’s where we are now- who will sing? Who will sink? Find out now, on Total Takes World Tour!”

“OMGGGG, is the mat blue for boy love?!” Mal screeches as Team Yaoi walks over to their designated starting point for the next leg of the challenge.

“I think the blue is symbolic of the color you’ll be after I’m done beating you to death over the team name,” Ass snaps, crossing their arms. “Team Yaoi… ugh.”

Their eyes drift over to Team Friendship, hovering over a lovely lavender rug, and Team Mojo with an orange.

“Do you think Joner’s okay over there?” Sha-Mod asks, holding a hand over his face to shield Lightning’s eyes from the non-existant sun.

Joner is sitting on the ground while Julia, Ass, and Mal argue, rocking back and forth in the fetal position. Patrick grumbles to himself. “He’ll live,”

He sighs, his shoulders sagging. “Man, I just miss McLovin,”

Michela goes on, offering an encouraging pat on Sha-Mod’s shoulder. “Max and I got separated, too.”

“You’ve got me, if anything,” Albert says. Michela shrugs, but smiles anyway.

From the lavender rug, Max watches the interaction and grumbles to himself. Kelly and Staci are busy playing with a fortune teller they made out of one of the napkins from the galley, and Scruffy is trying to convince Phillip that no one hates him.

“Dude, you look like you’re going to pop a blood vessel,” Bonnie notes, looking up from their flaking nail polish with a raised eyebrow.

“There’s something off about him,” Max says. “I can’t figure out what it is yet, but I will.”

They roll their eyes from behind him. “You’re jealous. It's normal,”

“I am not,”

“Calm down. We’ve all been there,”

Max turns around with a contemplative expression. “Have you?”

Bonnie looks away and stutters, but luckily Chris interrupts just in time. “I hope you’re all enjoying the cold, cause it’s about to get HOT!” he chuckles at his own reference, ignoring the confused looks from the cast. “Mexico is known for having alotta active volcanoes, dudes- and you’re about to get up close and personal with your next stop- Popocatepetl!”

The teens glance between each other nervously. “And you’ll be taking these shiny obsidian artifacts with you. Last team to make it up the mountain is up for elimination! So you dudes better get a move on- it’s a day’s walk from here, haha. See ya!”

And with that, the host walks off.

“We’ve gotta find some other method of transportation,” Courtney says confidently, scratching their chin. “Does anyone have any money?”

“We all left ours on the plane,” Ass rolls their eyes. “How are we going to get a ride without cash?”

Joner sits at the edge of the group, looking out in the distance while the team argues behind him. A tour bus pulls up across the ancient city and he blinks. “Hey, guys?”

The four ignore him and continue bickering. “Guyyyys?”

“A little busy, Joner!” Courtney shouts back.

“Guys!”

“WHAT!” Julia and Ass shout in unison.

Joner points over the city to the bus.

---

Team Friendship stands along the side of a highway, holding up thumbs and waiting.

“We’ve been here for hours,” Bonnie sighs. “No one’s going to pick us up.”

“Can’t you flag someone down? I mean… not to assume anything, but you speak Spanish, right?” Scruffy asks. Bonnie looks away.

---

BONNIE: “I can say “hello” and “where is the bathroom” but fluency? Forget it,”

---

“Guys, look what we found!” Staci’s voice rings out.

The team turns to see Kelly and Staci returning to the group, leading a donkey behind them.

“Um,” Max says. “Who’d you steal that from?”

“We just found him wandering around on his own,” Kelly says, patting the animal’s hide. “No one likes being alone. Can we keep him?”

Scruffy and Bonnie look between each other.

---

“Well. This is certainly taking the cake for the most embarrassing moment of my life,” Max says, sitting atop Bonnie’s shoulders as the entire team balances on the mule.

“Better than walking,” Scruffy huffs, Kelly in their lap and Staci awkwardly angled behind them.

“Is it?”

“At least you’re not in the back,” Phillip sighs, waving his hand in front of his nose.

---

Team Mojo walks through a thick forest, everyone both shivering from the cold and sweating from the humidity. Austin keeps stopping every few moments to take selfies with the local flora.

Michela and Albert hang at the back of the group, Patrick just steps ahead of them. He sighs dramatically, then announces “I’m getting tired. Someone carry me,” before falling back. Michela and Albert step out of the way and he falls on the forest floor with a thump.

“Well, this is miserable,” Michela sighs. “I mean, no offense to you guys, but we’re kind of a lousy team.”

“No offense taken,” Sha-Mod says, placing a hand over his heart. “I just know things would be different if the Takes Three boys were together again!”

“The what?” Albert asks.

Michela sighs and grumbles. “It’s their band,”

“The best band!”

“Oh, neat. What kind of music do you do?” Albert goes on.

“Please don’t entertain him,” she says, but it’s too late.

“We mostly do rap-swing-darkwave, but we’ve been experimenting with reggae-classical with an eastern influence,” Sha-Mod says. “Our Christmas album is coming out in December. You should pre-order before it’s sold out!”

“Sounds bad,” Frollo comments from up ahead, not even bothering to turn around. "An affront to Christmas."

“It’s pretty good!”

“I don’t believe that,”

The ground suddenly starts shaking, and a deep rumbling sound comes from within the earth. The team ducks and covers while the forest foliage sways above them. “Told you!” Frollo shouts.

A faint dinging noise catches everyone’s attention. Chris’ voice seems to come out of nowhere- “Looks like the Aztec fire god is not happy,” he chuckles. His tone is taunting, and very aggravating. “Why don’t you sing him a little song to soothe him? And also prevent that volcano from exploding?”

“You guys can’t do that, right?” Sha-Mod asks nervously.

“No promises, dude,” and then he disappears.

“This blows,” Michela sighs, then takes a deep breath. “No need to blow up, it’s winter time at last!”

Sha-Mod, Albert, and Patrick join in. “You shouldn’t burn us up,”

“Or turn us into ash!” Austin says. “Yeah, baby!”

Across the forest, Team Friendship nervously looks between each other as the earth trembles. “It’s volcanic winter time,” Bonnie says, eyes wide.

“So don't blow your top!” Max yelps as the tremors make the trees around them sway.

“Just ignore us mortals!” Phillip adds on.

Scruffy opens their mouth to sing but the Donkey rears and squishes them between Staci and Kelly, who shout out. “Don’t let the good times stop!”

---

“It’s winter time,” Courtney sings as the entirety of Team Yaoi is crammed in a tight tourist bus.

“Winter time, winter time!” Mal and Julia sing along.

Joner picks up in a perfectly toned voice. “It’s volcanic winter season!”

“It’s winter time,” Ass grumbles.

Courtney and Julia pick up the chorus. “Winter time, winter time…”

---

“Lord, save us now,” Frollo sing-speaks loudly.

“It’s winter time, winter time, winter time…” Michela and Albert harmonize as the team creeps through the forest.

Austin shouts the next verse. “Volcanic winter season!”

---

“It’s winter time, winter time, winter time…” Kelly, Staci, and Bonnie harmonize.

“Volcanic winter season!” Max finishes off the song.

Scruffy opens their mouth again, but they’re interrupted by the sound of trembling and the sight of a large plume of smoke close by.

“We’re here!” Bonnie shouts. Scruffy sighs and sulks.

Chris is sitting at the base of the volcano, lounging on a lawn chair and catching non-existent rays with a foil reflector. He sips from a drink and grins. “First team at the base! Better hurry, though- that volcano is about to blow!”

The tourist bus turns up next, and an exasperated Team Yaoi runs out. Chris opens his mouth to make some witty remark, but Julia interrupts with a shout. “What’s next!?”

“Geez, chill out,” he chuckles, lying back on his chair. “Your next part of the challenge is drawn from ancient Aztec tradition- a sacrifice to the fire god, Xiuhtecuhtli! Unfortunately, our lame attorneys say we can’t do a human or animal sacrifice, so we’ll be using your obsidian artifacts.”

The teams look between each other. Scruffy holds up the necklace they’d snatched, while Mal plays with her blade before putting it in her back pocket.

The earth rumbles again and Chris grins, flipping down a pair of shades. “Better hurry! It’s a steep hike!”

The two teams set off just as Team Mojo comes running up, everyone exhausted and out of breath. Sha-Mod collapses as soon as they reach Chris, and the other members aren’t looking much better.

“Wow, roughed it all the way on foot, huh?” Chris grins, taking another sip from his drink.

Michela nods, wiping the sweat from her forehead.

“Well, better gear up to do some more. You’re in for quite the hike,” he chuckles. The team groans.

---

“I was going to give this to Jules, but if it’s for the game, I guess…” Scruffy thinks, holding out the necklace. “Well, I can get her something else, right?”

“Would you please. Shut. Up,” Max grumbles.

Bonnie raises a hand. “I second that,”

Scruffy looks away with a frown. After a few moments, former sighs. “What do you see in her, anyway? She’s a total pain,”

“Well… at first, I was just trailing her because she was the smartest player in the game. Besides yours truly,” Scruffy says, placing a hand over their heart. “But… behind all that rage and wit, she’s a good person. She does mean things out of necessity, but she feels bad about them, and when she’s not competing, she’s a real sweetheart. She’s like nothing I’ve ever seen before. Sometimes I think I’m the only person who sees that.”

“Hm,” Bonnie thinks aloud. “Well… I guess that’s kind of sweet. I still don’t see it, though.”

Scruffy shrugs and walks past Max, who has his fingers in his ears to block out the conversation.

---

Team Yaoi huffs and wheezes as they climb the mountainside, all exhausted from the smoke and the hike. Joner is practically dragging himself along at this point, crawling on his hands and knees.

“Don’t…” Courtney wheezes. “Give up… so… close…”

Finally, the group collapses at the mouth of the volcano, where Chris is waiting. “Long walk, huh?”

“How’d you get up here?” Ass points an accusatory finger at him from their resting place on the ground.

“Airlift. Get with the times, dude,” he rubs his hands together. “Alright, sacrifice time! Let’s see that artifact!”

Mal sighs and digs around in her pockets for a moment before her face goes blank. Courtney, Ass, and Julia look at her. “Mal…?” Julia starts.

“I-I’m sure I have it. I put it in my pocket at the base, I didn’t touch it!”

A few hundred feet down, a glint in the sun catches Bonnie’s eye. They turn to Max, who’s whistling and flipping a blade between his fingers.

Back at the top, Ass groans. “You dropped it! You idiot!”

“Someone has to go back and find it,” Courtney wheezes. “We can’t lose.”

“I’ll-I’ll go,” Joner stands before promptly collapsing again. “Or not.”

“I think Mal should go. She lost it,” Julia glares.

“I did not!”

“You did too!”

The group erupts into argument again and Joner covers his ears.

---

“How much longer?” Albert asks, coughing weakly.

“Long,” Michela responds.

“I’m tired. Someone carry me!” Patrick says again, falling backwards just for Michela and Albert to move apart and let him tumble down the side of the mountain on his back.

Frollo is up ahead, reading silently and apparently not breaking a sweat.

“How does he do that?” Sha-Mod whispers.

Austin shrugs. “I don’t know, but I’m starting to think I might be following the wrong religion, baby,”

---

Team Friendship treks on, panting and wheezing to themselves. Scruffy looks behind their shoulder for a second and catches a glimpse of Bonnie and Max.

“Where’d you get that?” they ask, eyes pointed towards the blade in Max’s hands.

“Found it,”

“Really?”

He shrugs. “Found it in Mal’s pocket?”

“Woahhh, nice one. Way to show the girly team!” Phillip says, holding up a hand for a high-five. Max just stares at him and he lowers it sadly.

The volcano rumbles again, making the team grab onto each other for support as a parade of rocks rains down on them. “Run!” Scruffy shouts, and the teens get to moving, dodging giant boulders as they move down the hill.

---

Chris looks exhausted as he watches Team Yaoi bicker on and on, pointing fingers and shouting at each other. Joner walks over and sits next to him, deep eye bags under his eyes.

“I can’t believe you live with this,” the host whispers loudly. Joner just sighs.

Seconds later, Team Friendship runs up the side of the hill, panting and gasping. “Yes! Yes, we made it!” Scruffy whoops. Kelly and Staci cheer while Max covers his ears again.

“Let’s hope you guys have your sacrifice,” Chris says. Scruffy holds out the necklace proudly, but hesitates when they see Julia.

“One thing first,” they say, jogging over to Max. They pick him up off the ground, hold him by the ankles and shake him until the blade falls from one of his pockets.

“Well, that’s one way to do it,” Bonnie says as Scruffy drops a very disoriented Max and runs to Team Yaoi with the blade. He presses it into Julia’s palms. “I think you guys lost this,”

For a second, her harsh glare melts and she smiles sincerely. “Thank you. But what about-”

“I can handle economy,” Scruffy shrugs. “You’re better than winning. Plus, Team Mojo is nowhere to be seen, and I’d rather let them take the fall.”

“Hey!” Max shouts from afar. "My girlfr-"

"Shut it!" Julia yells, and then nods gratefully and returns to Team Yaoi. Ass mumbles “About time,” and the five of them toss their artifact into the volcano.

“Team Yaoi has won the challenge! Finally!” Chris shouts. "First class for all of you!"

Scruffy beams and begins walking to the mouth of the volcano, just for the host to put an arm in their way, blocking the team. “Not so fast, compadre. You still have a musical number to perform,”

“What?” Scruffy blinks. “I-I mean, sure, but- now?”

“Now or elimination, bud!”

“But you let Cody from the original World Tour off the hook all the time!”

“What can I say? I’m a changed man. Let’s hear it!”

Scruffy stutters and stammers, caught off guard. Their team behind them goads them on, but it’s too late- within seconds, Team Mojo appears and Michela, obsidian figurine in hand, single-handedly throws a perfect long pass into the volcano.

“And with that, Team Mojo has avoided elimination!” Chris grins. “You know, on second thought, Scruffy- fair is fair. I’ll let you off the hook this time. See you at the elimination ceremony!”

They laugh nervously and turn to their unimpressed teammates.

---

Within the hulking metal frame of the plan, Chris stands before a flower paper background, atop a podium. Team Friendship is lined on a set of wooden bleachers against the wall, none looking too happy.

“Team Friendship, due to a marginal error, you came in last. So, it’s vote time! Up in the loser-class bathroom you’ll find six passports. Stamp the passport of the team member you’d like to send home, and meet me back here for your results,”

---

Phillip holds up a passport to the camera and stamps out Scruffy.

---

Max sighs and thinks aloud. “Scruffy is a capable player, but I can’t let them throw the win for some girl. I’d understand if it were Michela, but Julia?” He stamps out Scruffy.

---

Bonnie thinks for a moment, and then sighs and palms their forehead. They stamp out Phillip.

---

“I TRIED to sing. I keep telling everyone that- I’ve been waiting to sing for years!” Scruffy says. “I take lessons!” they sigh and stamp out Max.

---

Staci and Kelly giggle while using the ink from the stamp to draw smiley faces and flowers on each other’s shoulders.

---

“I’ve got the results of your votes right here. Those staying in the game will get in-flight snacks,” Chris holds up a bag of pretzels and then rolls his eyes as Scruffy makes a face. “What? Pretzels are cheaper right now!”

“The following players are safe- Kelly

Staci

Bonnie

And Max,”

The respective contestants catch their pretzels and look up.

“The last bag of pretzels… goes to…”

“Phillip. Sorry, Scruffy. You’re out!”

Scruffy sighs and their shoulders droop. Chris tosses them a parachute, which they put on with expert speed and professionalism.

“Been training for that too, huh?” Chris chuckles. They shrug.

Scruffy walks up to the open door of the plane and turns back. “Wait- Bonnie- I want you to give this to Jules!” they say, tossing Bonnie the necklace they never got to sacrifice. “Tell her I'm rooting for her!”

“Um... why me?” the goth asks, raising an eyebrow.

Scruffy smiles. “I think you get it more than anyone else,” and with that, they jump. Bonnie blinks.

---

BONNIE: “Okay, I had one heartfelt conversation on national TV and now everyone thinks I’m cupid or something?”

---

“Can’t win ‘em all, I guess,” Chris shrugs, then turns to the audience. “Who will win? And who will jump? Find out next time, on Total Takes: World Tour!”

#(ooc)#scruffy get FUCKED #phillip SWEEP #a suprirsing amount of good frollo moments in this one #austin's joke about following the wrong religion got a nice laugh outta me #gonna miss scruffy they were one of the best parts of tta but excited for the upcoming julia content

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total-drama-for-real-justice · 7 months

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ttwt episode 1 - part 1

Chris McLean, fresh out of court and looking as spiff and spin as ever, stands on the tarmac of an airport landing strip somewhere in Toronto, Canada. His smile is bright and confident, and his eyes are shimmering with sadistic glee as he giggles to himself.

“Season three of Total Takes, folks! From sea to shining sea, from forest to plain, from here to Machu Picchu and back, this is Total Takes: World Tour! Seventeen teens you know and love will be competing right here, right now, ALL around the world for another million dollars!"

A large, shiny bus pulls up behind him and the doors slide open with a low hiss.

“Let’s meet our contestants, shall we?” Chris beams. “Here with us today is Courtney, Scruffy, Ass, Julia, Bonnie…”

The first four teens breeze out of the bus with ease. Courtney waves merrily, while Scruffy gargles something from a Thermos, and Julia and Ass elbow each other when the other gets too close. Bonnie looks less than enthused- even less so than usual.

“Missing Caesar?” Courtney asks, adjusting the straps on their pack.

Bonnie shrugs. “A little. Stupid contracts,”

“Staci, Austin, Max, and… Patrick!”

Patrick makes a point to shove Chris a little on his way out. The host scoffs as a crew of makeup and hair assistants rush to fix his flyaways.

“This season’s gonna be right groovy, isn’t it?” Austin says, wrapping an arm around Staci and beaming.

Max doesn’t look at him. “Don’t talk to me,”

“And returning favorites, Mal, Kelly, and Frollo!”

The latter slinks out of the bus with his nose buried in his Bible, looking around suspiciously before being barreled out of the way.

“Watch out below!” Joner and Sha-Mod yell, jumping onto the pavement and trampling Frollo before running off to join the others.

Julia gives the two an odd, disgruntled look. “I don’t remember seeing you on the carpet,”

“You must’ve mistaken us for each other. We’re wearing matching outfits,” Joner says proudly.

Julia blinks, then rolls her eyes.

“Also returning this season- Michela!”

Michela stumbles out of the bus, several bags on her arms. “Was it really necessary I carry all the luggage?”

“Less talky, more carry, She-Hulk!” Ass yells, then chuckles at their own joke. Courtney rolls their eyes.

“Here, let me help you with that!” a voice from within the bus says. Albert jogs out and takes some of the bags from Michela, who smiles. “Thank you,”

“And without further ado, here’s our brand new cast member- Albert!” Chris beams, then squints. “The guy who got me arrested.”

Albert laughs nervously. “Water under the bridge?”

“Hey, don’t forget about me!” a weak voice from within the bus squeaks. Phillip, dressed eerily similar to Alejandro from the original World Tour, walks out. “Woke media trying to silence me…”

“Oh, yeah. And here’s Phillip,” Chris sighs. The sound of scraping metal pulls everyone’s attention behind them, and a massive, hulking plane rolls up on the tarmac.

“Great. This is how I die,” Ass crosses their arms.

“Why don’t you complain a little louder, they can’t hear you in Winnipeg,” Courtney grumbles.

Mal steps up to Courtney and whispers in their ear. “I know, such a drag, right?”

They jump. “Jesus, where did you come from?”

Frollo appears out of thin air on Courtney’s other side. “Did someone say Jesus?”

Julia, standing next to Scruffy with her hands on her hips, turns to them. “Don’t you have anything to say?”

Scruffy shakes their head and taps their throat. Julia sighs and walks off.

“Are you sure this is… uh, safe to fly on?” Kelly asks. “No judgment, but…”

“Full judgment, but I don’t think that’s going to be capable of lifting off,” Max cuts in. “Or landing.”

The contestants look between each other nervously. Chris chuckles. “Hey, I’m flying in it too. You guys have nothing to worry about!”

“Fine,” Ass sighs, slinging their pack over their shoulder. “Let’s get this over with.”

---

“As some of you might’ve guessed-” Chris looks at Scruffy. “This season is, in fact, a musical one! However, due to budget restraints and copyright laws and blah blah blah, we only had the moola to recycle the songs from the original TDWT. It’ll be your job to adjust the lyrics accordingly.”

Scruffy jumps up and down and claps their hands.

---

SCRUFFY: “Ahem. Saving my voice. I’ve been looking forward to this for years! Singing classes since I was ten!”

---

Michela raises an eyebrow. “You can’t honestly expect us to know all that,”

“Oh, but I am,” Chris chuckles. “I’m sure your castmates will give you a hand where they need to. Oh, and- if you don’t sing, you’re automatically eliminated!”

The cast gasps, much to the host’s amusement. “And while you’re here, I might as well explain the perks and the pains. Losing teams will sleep here- in economy. Winners will get first class, though- so you might wanna bring your A-Game,” he grins. “We also have two confessionals, a cargo hold, and a galley- and an elimination hall. Got it? Got it, good.” he says, ignoring the sea of raised hands.

“This is a nightmare,” Max grumbles, seated next to Michela in the galley.

The jingling chime of a bell catches everyone’s attention. Scruffy squeals. “It’s song time!”

“That’s right! Whenever you hear the sound of that little bell, it’s musical number time!” Chris grins. “So get to it! We’re taking off!”

Chris disappears behind a large metal door, leaving a host of confused teens behind. Ass rolls their eyes. “Any volunteers?”

Scruffy stands, but before they can get a note in, Courtney rises from their seat in the galley. “Up!”

Kelly joins them. “Up!”

Staci jumps up next, grabbing Kelly’s hand and raising their arms to the ceiling. “Up! Up!”

Sha-Mod and Joner jump in right after. “Sing, sing, sing, sing!”

“We’re flying,” Max grumbles. Austin butts in seconds later. “And singing, baby!”

“We’re flying and we’re singing!” Sha-Mod and Joner pick up, joined by Albert.

Julia walks across the galley, half-heartedly gesturing around. “Come fly with us,”

Scruffy tries to join in but is barrelled over by Patrick, who sings in a loud, soprano voice. “Come fight with us!”

Bonnie chokes out a half-hearted spoken-word mumble. “I think this stupid plane is about to combust,”

“This is miserable,” Michela sulks. “Come fly with us,”

Mal jumps into frame, shoving her out of the way and beaming. “COME FLY WITH US!”

Frollo holds up a finger. “In the Lord we find salvation, love, and trust,”

Mal and Michela stare at him.

“This is the best, our noise is so groovy!” Austin shouts, pulling Phillip and Ass into a hug with either arm.

Ass shoves him off. “You better watch it before I end up in juvie!”

“Yeah, like guys, isn’t singing kind of gay?” Phillip adds.

Patrick shakes his fist. “Call me that again and I’ll mess up your face!”

Courtney butts in, pushing the two apart. “Come fly with us! Don’t die with us!”

The plane suddenly lurches to the left, sending everyone flying. Austin flies around the galley like a piece of paper in the wind, shrieking. “Baby, who’s flying this groovy aeroplane!” Bonnie groans and gets up, massaging their temples. “You guys are giving me a migraine!”

“Come fly with us, come sing with us!” Courtney, Kelly, and Staci sing to Ass and Phillip.

“NO!” the latter two insist.

Chris ducks out of the cockpit and holds up a thick stack of paper. “Remember, no singing means no winning! Every contestant must SING!”

Courtney elbows Ass’ ribcage. “Let’s hear it! Just one thing!”

Patrick holds up a fist to Phillip again. “You better not cost me a win!”

Phillip sighs. “Well, I don’t want to go home- fine! But for the record, I’m not gay,” he takes a deep breath. “Come fly with us! Come fly with us! Come, and fly, with us!”

Ass palms their forehead and stands. “I hate all of youuuuu!”

Scruffy runs into scene, panting. “Did I miss it? Patrick knocked me out,”

The teens look between each other and Courtney offers them a pat of condolence on their shoulder as they pout. “Aw…”

---

SCRUFFY: “I’m not too worried about getting eliminated- I mean, half the cast of TDWT didn’t sing and they made it out just fine! I’m just bummed I missed the opening number…”

---

“Buckle up, fruitcakes!” Chef’s voice rings over the PA system. “We are now beginning our descent into Mexico.”

The teens ooh and ah as they take their seats, buckling themselves in as the plane begins to descend.

“Mexico is like, so exotic,” Staci says. “I hope I get to work on my tan- I’ve been doing a lot of indoors-y studying for college.”

“I hope we get to eat,” Michela says.

The entirety of economy class nods and murmurs in agreement, and then falls silent. Albert fidgets with the zipper on his windbreaker while the hum of the engines gently vibrates the cabin.

Julia is leaning against the rough metal walls, grumbling to herself while watching Patrick glare at Scruffy.

---

JULIA: “Things have been pretty awkward with Scruffy lately. I mean, they got worse after Patrick and I… whatever. I figured that things would go back to normal when we broke up but there’s still this wall between us! It’s driving me insane,”

---

Julia sighs and turns to her right, ignoring the scuffle on the other side of her. She watches Albert play with his zipper, squinting. “Hey, I know you,”

He looks up. “Hm?”

“You’re that guy. The investigator person,” Julia crosses her arms and then points. “You got McLean arrested.”

“Oh, yeah. Guess I did,” he says, looking around.

“I hope you’re taking notes for next time, cause I’d have preferred it if you kept him in jail,” Ass shouts.

“Hey, that was the court. Blame the legal system, not me,” Albert shrugs. “I did my part.”

“Did you?”

He seems to shrink into himself, avoiding eye contact.

---

Albert sits in the confessional for a few moments, tapping the camera and looking confused before he blinks.

ALBERT: “Wait, this thing is always on? Great. Well,” he sighs. “...I guess all I have to say is that... I did really try. All that research, all that legal evidence- and it all meant nothing!”

---

Julia rolls her eyes and leans back, ignoring Ass tearing into Albert. The blonde crosses her arms as her eyes drift across the cabin before meeting Scruffy’s, and she quickly turns away.

“T-Minus two minutes to landing!” Chef’s voice bellows over the speakers. “Brace yourselves!”

The teens duck and cover, tightening their seatbelts and covering their heads as the plane shakes and bumps, screeching down the tarmac.

When it finally comes to a stop and the Seatbelts On sign weakly flickers out, the contestants groan and begin standing.

“I’m already over this,” Julia sighs, unbuckling herself.

“Hey, let’s look at the bright side,” Sha-Mod announces merrily. “At least it’ll be warm! That’s something to look forward to!”

“Speak for yourself,” Mal grumbles, slathering on a coat of sunscreen to maintain her sickly complexion.

The teens line up at the plane door as a staircase is rolled over for their exit. Most are silent, but a few are chatting merrily about the food and the weather. The door finally opens and the teens file out, just to be met with a freezing cold breeze and a cloud of dust from the rough landing.

“Jesus Christ-” Ass starts, ignoring Frollo’s gasp of offense. “Did you take a wrong turn and land us in the arctic?”

“Great going, Chris! Can’t even find a whole country!” Mal snaps.

Chris walks up, chuckling to himself. “Oh, this is Mexico, alright- welcome to the city of Teotihuacan!”

As the dust begins to clear, the contestants are met with a massive archaeological wonder of the world, an ancient city spanning around them for as far as their eyes can see. A few ooh and ah.

“Known for its rich history and ideal real estate- located in this lovely sub-valley- this long-gone capital of archaeological interest is rich with culture, religion, and my personal favorite- pyramids!” Chris chuckles.

“Okay, that’s very nice, but that doesn’t explain the weather,” Courtney says softly, shivering.

“Oh, yeah. We maaaaaay have had a part in that,” the host explains, gesturing to the thick, dark clouds overhead. “See, one of the many theories about the collapse of Teotihuacan suggests a volcanic winter might’ve caused some... civil unrest.”

“I’m feeling unrested, alright,” Patrick grumbles.

“Don’t get ahead of yourself, cowboy,” Chris says. “The worst is yet to come. This region of Mexico is known for its high volcanic activity- and in a tribute to the last season of World Tour, I thought our challenge today would combine the first and last episodes of the Total Drama season.”

Scruffy raises an eyebrow. “So… we’re going to-”

“Your first leg of the challenge will consist of navigating the tunnels under the Pyramid of the Sun, the largest pyramid in Teotihuacan. In our Egypt challenge, we gave contestants the choice of going over or under, but we’re not technically allowed to let you climb the ruins,” Chris shrugs. “So under it is. In the tunnel system below the pyramid, you’ll discover a handful of obsidian objects that you might’ve found in the city some thousands of years ago. Once you’re out, I’ll be waiting to give you instructions for your next task. Ready?”

The teens look between each other nervously.

“Go!”

They set off, almost immediately fracturing off into groups. Courtney and Bonnie lead, followed by Sha-Mod and Joner, followed by Michela and Max. Albert catches up to the latter two, wheezing. “Mind if I join?”

Michela shrugs, much to Max’s annoyance.

---

MAX: “There’s something off about that guy. I don’t trust him,”

---

MICHELA: “Everyone’s been giving Albert a hard time lately, and he seems sweet… what’s the harm in helping him out?”

---

Julia runs behind the three, raising an eyebrow at the odd interaction, but she quickly shrugs it off and speeds up. As the blonde ducks into the tunnels leading under the pyramid, a familiar head of green hair pops out of nowhere. “Hey, Jules!”

Julia coughs awkwardly. “Oh, um- hi. Can I help you?”

“Not really- but I can help you. I’ve been studying pyramid architecture just in case something like this would happen. Wanna team?” Scruffy asks. “I’ll get you some good obsidian!”

She relaxes a little and smiles. “Yeah, sure. That’d be cool with me,”

---

JULIA: “Okay, maybe I’ve been overthinking things a little. Scruffy doesn’t seem mad… unless it’s some kind of trick. But they wouldn’t do that to me… would they?”

---

Austin skips and frolics through the tunnels, just ahead of Patrick, who’s trying not to snap as Frollo goes on about unholy pagan religion. Behind them, Kelly and Staci walk casually through tunnels, chatting merrily.

“I don’t know, I mean, she’s cute and all but I’m not sure if I want to risk my scholarship chasing some girl,” Staci says, twirling a strand of hair around their finger. “What if I get distracted?”

“If anyone can find a good balance, it’s you,” Kelly comments reassuringly, patting Staci’s shoulder. “Who knows- maybe she’ll motivate you!”

Staci nods. “That’s a totally fair point. Next time I find a phone on this show, I’ll call,”

Kelly beams and then looks aside with a cautious expression as Staci chats on.

---

KELLY: “I’m happy for them, I really am, but sometimes… I just wish I had something to myself, too,”

---

“God, it’s dark in here,” Julia says, only her eyes visible in the darkest stretch of the tunnels. “You know where we are, right, Scruffy?” no response. “...Scruffy?”

Julia continues walking forward before colliding with someone else and sending them both tumbling to the ground. She huffs. “Watch it!”

“Sorry, it’s hard to see,” Courtney’s voice rings out through the darkness. “Julia? Is that you?”

“In the flesh,” she grumbles.

“Have you seen Bonnie? We got mixed up and I lost them,”

“I haven’t seen anyone since Scruffy and I got split up,”

“I’m here too!” a voice rings out. Courtney and Julia both scream as Mal appears out of nowhere, the light from her phone illuminating her face in the darkness. “And look what I found.”

She holds up an obsidian blade and laughs maniacally. Courtney and Julia look at each other nervously, prompting Mal to roll her eyes. “Oh, quit being such babies. I’m not going to hurt you,” she pauses to smile. “Yet.”

---

“Courtney! Courtney?” Bonnie yells into the tunnels, their own echo bouncing back.

As they sigh and sit on the ground, taking a breather, they notice a figure across the hall and jump with a start. “Jesus, Max, you scared the crap out of me,”

“Lost?” he asks plainly. Bonnie nods. “Where’s Michela?”

“With that guy, I’m assuming,” he says sharply. Bonnie raises an eyebrow but doesn’t push- not that they have time to, because seconds later Scruffy comes running down the hall, shouting Julia’s name. Without looking, they trip on Bonnie’s outstretched leg and fall face-first into the dirt and dust layering the floor.

“Hey, Scruff,” Bonnie says as they sit up and brush themselves off. “Lost?”

“No, I know exactly where we are- but Julia wandered off while I was getting this,” they say, holding up a shiny obsidian necklace. “I figured it might get us an advantage in the next part of the challenge.”

“Sure. Well, I haven’t seen anyone but Max for an hour at this point,”

“What about me?”

Max shrieks as a voice comes from the dirt beside him. Phillip rises, a layer of grime falling from his body. “I was trying to bury myself. I figured this challenge was hopeless since no one wanted to team with me…”

“Oh, brother,” Bonnie mumbles under their breath.

---

“I’m sure he’ll turn up,” Albert thinks aloud, walking the tunnels with a sulking Michela at his side. “He’s probably already waiting outside.”

“Yeah, you’re right. I still feel weird leaving him, though,”

“Leaving who?” Patrick asks, emerging from the darkness with Sha-Mod and Frollo behind him.

“Um… you’ve got a tail,” Albert points at the two. Patrick rolls his eyes.

“Yes. I can’t seem to shake them off,” he sighs. “This one lost his buddy and the other one thinks this place is cursed.”

“Unholy ground,” Frollo mutters. “Unclean… foul.”

“You see what I have to deal with?”

A sudden, loud whooping noise coming from behind the group echoes against the walls, getting closer by the second. Frollo goes pale. “Witches!” he screams, and then runs past Patrick, straight into a wall.

The impact makes the tunnel tremor a bit, sending bits of dirt and dust from the ceiling- along with an obsidian figurine depicting a serpent. It unlodges itself from the roof and falls on Patrick’s head with a large thump. He mumbles nonsense and passes out on the ground.

“Well,” Michela picks up the artifact. “It’s something, right?”

The whooping noise comes closer before bursting into their section of the hall- but it’s only Austin, running past them into the dark. “I can smell the way out, baby!”

Sha-Mod and Albert make brief eye contact, and then shrug, the gang following him out and leaving Patrick unconscious on the floor for a few moments before Michela runs back to grab him.

---

Chris sits outside the pyramid, sipping from a Thermos and enjoying the volcanic weather.

“It’s your fault, not mine!” a voice shouts.

Chris perks up. “And here come the first contestants,”

Julia, Courtney, and Mal walk out of the tunnels, bickering, with Ass shortly behind. A very meek and slightly terrified Joner scampers out after them, hanging at the back of the group.

“Ladies- and others,” Chris nods. “Find me anything good?”

Mal holds up her blade with a big grin.

“Niiiiice,” the host grins, rubbing his chin. “As the first group out of the tunnels, you are officially team number one- oh, and here come team number two!”

Bonnie, Max, Scruffy, and Phillip emerge from the tunnels, coated in dust and debris. Kelly and Staci trail behind them, still chatting.

Scruffy immediately lights up when they see Julia, and dashes over to her. “I’m so glad you made it out! Here- I found this for you,” they say, holding up the necklace they found.

“Sickening,” Ass mumbles. Courtney stomps on their foot and they yelp.

“Nice find, Scruffy,” Chris comments. “One more team to go!”

After a long, drawn out period of waiting, the final team- lead by Austin- come running out, panting. Patrick is currently conscious, but has a large bump on his head and is sucking his thumb while Michela carries him like a baby (much to her annoyance).

“Michela, Albert, Patrick, Austin, Sha-Mod, and Frollo-” Chris counts. “You’re team number three!”

Michela drops Patrick in the dirt the second she sees Max, and runs over to him. “I’m glad you got out okay, I couldn’t have lived with myself if I knew you were still down there,”

He raises an eyebrow. “You would’ve gone back?”

“Of course!”

Max thinks for a moment, and then smiles. Chris clears his throat. “Okay, enough of that. It’s time to choose your team names! This season, whoever found your obsidian artifact will be naming the team- so that means Mal, Scruffy, and… whoever.” he chuckles.

“Michela picked up the artifact, so she should get to choose the team name. It’s only fair,” Albert posits.

“But Frollo hit the wall, which dislodged it,” Sha-Mod rubs his chin, thinking aloud.

“Hello! Are we forgetting that thing nearly gave me a concussion!” Patrick shouts from the ground. He is ignored.

“But it was Austin who made Frollo run into the wall, so…” Michela says. “Austin?”

The five of them turn to Austin, who’s busy practicing karate moves on the dirt a few feet away. When he notices everyone staring, he shrugs. “Easy one, baby. Team Mojo!”

---

AUSTIN: "No, I don't need the money, baby- but a free two-star trip around the world? Parties and birds in the four corners of the globe? Sign me up, baby!"

---

The five sigh. “I don’t know what else I was expecting,” Michela murmurs.

A few feet away, Ass and Julia watch the discussion, the former shaking their head before turning back to Mal. “You better choose something good,”

“I still think it should be Team Amazon, as a callback,” Courtney says, raising a finger and looking at Joner. “I mean, we have a very similar demographic.”

“Nuh-uh,” Mal puts her hands on her hips. “I already chose the name. Team Yaoi!”

The other teammates groan and give pained expressions to each other. Ass palms their forehead.

“Okay, so after a democratic vote, we’ll have our answer,” Scruffy says. “All in favor of Phillip’s submission?”

Phillip crosses his arms. “You have to say the full thing,”

“Okay, fine- all in favor of The Bleeding Hearts Against Social Justice Warriors?”

Phillip enthusiastically raises a hand, earning blank stares from everyone else. When he realizes his hand is alone, he sighs and starts digging another hole to bury himself in.

“All in favor of Max’s submission- Team... uh, Psychological Torture?”

Not even Max raises his hand. Scruffy sighs. “Okay, Bonnie’s- Team I Want to go Home?”

Bonnie picks at their nails.

“Okay, Staci’s- all in favor of Team Friendship?”

Staci and Kelly enthusiastically wave their hands and squeal, sweeping the majority vote. Scruffy bangs an invisible gavel and grins. “Team Friendship it is!”

Max turns to Bonnie. “We probably should’ve had a plan to prevent this,”

“Tell me about it,” they sigh.

“Alright, campers! Team Yaoi, Team Mojo, and Team Friendship!” Chris says, barely holding back a laugh. “Now that you’ve been paired up, it’s time for your penultimate challenge- that’s right, we’re going hiking- on an active volcano!”

The teens gasp as Chris chuckles to himself. “Unlike the original World Tour, you aren’t getting any advantages- your only goal is to not be the schmucks to get last place. All will be explained- NEXT TIME! On Total Takes: World Tour!”

#(OOC)#mostly just talking about Philip because he’s my special little guy #loving how he’s written so far ABSOLUTE sadboy supreme #such a shame he has to be surrounded by all those wokelords 😔 /j #beyond him I’m very much rooting for a Kelly and Staci sweep #or maybe Patrick…..

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total-drama-for-real-justice · 7 months

Text

Woah……..who is this handsome devil?

-Mod Alejandro 🔥

here's the beta design I guess. I was told cody but taller, paler, and with black hair so I ran with that. needed to give him his signature sad boy swag somehow

#mod Alejandro #tdfrj #total drama for real justice

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total-drama-for-real-justice · 8 months

Text

MOD ALEJANDRO SWEEP!!!!!!

ttwt character profiles - batch 3

MAL

What's your best quality? What isn't great about me? Ugh- fine, okay, I guess my ability to accumulate followers is pretty fun. Faves? (music, colour, movie, food)

I only listen to Japanese music. It's called "J-Pop", not that you've ever heard of it

Black

Okay, um, obviously it's 僕のヒーローアカデミア the movie ワールドヒーローズミッション. What? I can speak Japanese, duh.

Salad or dim sum

Describe your craziest dream. I've actually been conditioning myself to have dreams of my husbando, Levi Ackerman from AOT. I haven't had a non-Levi dream since last year. Best memory from childhood? Having my first meet and greet with my favorite YouTubers! Their names are Dan and Phil- Most embarrassing moment at school? Probably when the popular girls in my grade call me a freak for having BL charms on my backpack. Uncultured, tch Describe the first job you ever had. I work at Hot Topic. Ten years from now, what are you doing? Hopefully writing and producing my own show! My dream date would be with ___________, doing what? OBVIOUSLY my baby Levi. I'd take him to Hot Topic and let him buy as many Funko Pops as he wants with my 5% employee discount. It’s the last day on earth. In five words or less, what would you do?

Post a goodbye to Wattpad

MAX

What's your best quality? My cunning intelligence, of course. Faves? (music, colour, movie, food)

I don't much care for music.

Navy.

Murder on the Orient Express

Challah

Describe your craziest dream. I don't dream. Best memory from childhood? Any time I got to be alone was nice. Most embarrassing moment at school? Pass. Describe the first job you ever had. School is work enough. Ten years from now, what are you doing? Graduated, in a good position at the research university of my choosing. Ideally? Oxford or Cambridge. I would settle for Harvard. Or... I guess, married. That would be alright. Yeah, that would be good. My dream date would be with ___________, doing what? My girlfriend, talking. Since we can't seem to get a minute to ourselves on this damn set. It’s the last day on earth. In five words or less, what would you do?

Try to stop it, somehow.

MICHELA

What's your best quality? Um... I don't know. I'm smart sometimes. Faves? (music, colour, movie, food)

Alternative rock.

Black

Goodfellas

Quiche a la Lorraine

Describe your craziest dream. I have more dreams than nightmares, usually. Best memory from childhood? I have a lot. I guess... camping with Joner would be up there. Most embarrassing moment at school? Ugh. Let's not talk about that. Describe the first job you ever had. I worked at a catering business for a few weeks to afford the school trip to New York. Ten years from now, what are you doing? Anything, really. I haven't really decided on a career path. I guess... I'd like to own a house with Max some day My dream date would be with ___________, doing what? Max, probably forcing him to listen to music because he's allergic to having good taste It’s the last day on earth. In five words or less, what would you do?

Looking back on everything

NOCO

What's your best quality? n/a Faves? (music, colour, movie, food)

n/a

Describe your craziest dream. "I hate everything" Best memory from childhood? My brother hit me in the head with a rock once. Most embarrassing moment at school? Being there. Describe the first job you ever had. It was sad. Ten years from now, what are you doing? Inflicting my vision on people against their will. In a... funny way. Yeah. My dream date would be with ___________, doing what? Your mom. It’s the last day on earth. In five words or less, what would you do?

Post my manifesto.

What's your best quality? I'm helpful! And, uh, I guess I'm a pretty cool person on my own, too. Faves? (music, colour, movie, food)

I have a guilty pleasure for old country music

Orange

Huh... probably The Sixth Sense

My grandma's mac n cheese

Describe your craziest dream. We don't talk about the Geoff nightmares anymore. Best memory from childhood? Not sure I have many. Is that bad? Most embarrassing moment at school? I soiled myself in front of my new class after I changed schools and had to introduce myself in front of everyone. That was last year. Describe the first job you ever had. I'm an... unlicensed counselor. Or... I guess being a friend can be a job too, huh? Ten years from now, what are you doing? Anything I put my mind to! My dream date would be with ___________, doing what? Freud, telling him to shove it! It’s the last day on earth. In five words or less, what would you do?

Tea and cookies with Grandma.

PATRICK

What's your best quality? My skin. Oh, you mean personality? Faves? (music, colour, movie, food)

The hits.

White. Bone white.

Is this necessary?

I'm on a cleanse. Don't bring it up.

Describe your craziest dream. I rid myself of having nonsense "dreams" years ago. Best memory from childhood? I was never a child. Idiot. Most embarrassing moment at school? None. Describe the first job you ever had. I'm interning at a very prestigious firm right now. Ten years from now, what are you doing? Wall street. New York year-round, Hawaii for Christmas, the vineyard for summer. My dream date would be with ___________, doing what? Fiona Apple. It’s the last day on earth. In five words or less, what would you do?

Who cares?

PHILLIP

What's your best quality? I have... um.. so many... it's hard to choose... Faves? (music, colour, movie, food)

Music? I guess, good music. Great music.

Probably red. Red is a very masculine color and very powerful, like blood and fire.

I don't have time for movies.

Um... you know, stuff with protein. Burgers. And. Steak. Probably

Describe your craziest dream. I'm already living the dream, haha. Yeah. I also have dreams about being Alejandro from Total Drama. I believe those are prophecies. Best memory from childhood? Probably showing off to all the girls in my class. Because I am so strong and intimidating. Most embarrassing moment at school? None. At all. Is that question really on there? Describe the first job you ever had. My life is a job. Really. Every day when I wake up, that's like clocking in. When I go to bed, or have a sandwich, that's like the paycheck. Ten years from now, what are you doing? Probably winning. At the universe. My dream date would be with ___________, doing what? Probably the amalgamation of God I met outside McDonald's on Christmas Eve last year. We would talk about so many things. It’s the last day on earth. In five words or less, what would you do?

I could intervene.

#(OOC)

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