tohabibiwithlove

[tohabibiwithlove]

4/28/18

For you,

I want Firdaws. 

[tohabibiwithlove]

4/28/18

Your laugh

Is my healing. 

Your laugh is what breaks the darkness of night in half

With its light.

Your laugh is my favor from Allah.

Your laugh is my

Jannah on Earth.

[tohabibiwithlove]

4/28/18

Since I last posted, we went to Saugatuck, Michigan and had so much fun there. It was 2 or 3 days over my spring break, I think 3. 

Today is our 1 year Kitab anniversary! Alhamdulilah. You’re at weekend school and I’m home because I’m sick (it’s a Saturday). I’ve been eating carrots, strawberries, avocado toast, and have clementines out to eat too. I decorated the table for you with pics of us, rose petals, and a 50 Reasons Why You’re Awesome book! I hope you like it. We’ve decided to celebrate our wedding date anniversary (7/9/17) iA but I just wanted to recognize the day and make it special somehow. Because this was the most special day of my life. Alhamdulilah <3

[tohabibiwithlove]

2/12/18

Have I told you yet?

Have I told you that you are my Moon?

Because now it is clearer than ever

That this miraculous light

Is what you are to me.

Maybe I’ve told you in passing

In a string of sweet words

But I haven’t yet explained

The extent of what I mean.

I have revealed to you 

A bit of the circumstances

But there is something left to show you

That I hope will convince you

How deep this term stems from my heart

[tohabibiwithlove]

My moon you are 

”سيأتي الضياء برغم الغيوم“ “The light will come despite the clouds.”

[tohabibiwithlove]

ونمضي سوياً على دربنا

And we will advance together on this path

وفي كفنا شعلةٌ من علوم And in our palm is flame of knowledge

فقرآننا ذلك القائد Our Qur’an is the leader

وتفسيره ساطع كالنجوم And its explanation is shining like the stars

[tohabibiwithlove]

فليقولوا عن حجابي أنه يفني شبابي Let them say about my hijab that it wastes my youth

وليغالوا في عتابي إن للدين انتسابي Let them increase in my blame, I adhere to the religion

لا و ربي لن أبالي همتي مثل الجبال By my Lord, I don’t care of what they say, my determination is like mountains

أي معنى للجمال إن غدا سهل المنال There is no meaning for beauty if it may be obtained easily

[tohabibiwithlove]

[tohabibiwithlove]

2/9/18

Today was a beautiful day spent with you. We were snowed in; you got to work from home and I was off. 

(By the way, your first day of work was 2/5/18 and it was probably one of the worst winter days. An exuberant amount of snow fell that day and because of all the delays on the way home, we ended up meeting at my grandma’s house so you could get off the road quicker).

Today while you worked from home I got a lot done! I worked out for the first time in a while, baked, memorized 3 lines of Surat al Mudethir (finished the page!), and other stuff. Then after you finished working and I finished baking and we prayed Asr, we went outside in front of the apartment area and had a TON of fun in the snow.

The snow was literally up to my knees! I think it was 12 inches/1 foot! I had a BLASSSSST! We had a snowball fight, and you threw 2 snowballs in my face (that was not a blast.. :/ lol). But we chased each other down the “sidewalk” covered in snow and I kept trying to push you into the snow lol and I literally used all my energy and you kept laughing at me every time I tried pushing you. I fell in it willingly, I let myself fall in it and just laid there. We walked towards the main street. Then we raced from the sidewalk to the inner walkway. We raced over the hills of snow and I hadn’t had that much fun in snow in YEARS! I had so much fun.. I hope we can do it again tomorrow iA. I feel like a little kid haha. Thanks so much for making today wonderful :) 

#alhamdulilah

[tohabibiwithlove]

1/26/18 

The days pass by so quickly. How one blink of an eye turns into months. I haven’t posted on here since October. We went through some rough periods within the last 3 months. Lots of fighting. Lots of crying. Lots of painful moments. Marriage and love are not a rose tinted window that one basks in all day and night. Although we know that fluffy narrative isn’t true, it is something else to finally come face to face with it.

The first crack in that window is nothing short of painful. It is a silent, quick blow that does an unimaginable amount of damage. It is a shot to the fairytale that is ingrained in our minds of what a marriage is.

You see my love, I never thought marriage would be perfect. I never thought I’d get everything I wanted. I expected to sacrifice. I expected to compromise. I expected to go through hardships. But now I am in it. Now I am married and I see marriage for what it truly is.  And looking at something from the outside is nothing like looking at it from the inside. 

I think it’s safe to say that we’ve made many mistakes in our marriage. Whether it’s something we thought wasn’t a big deal that was a big deal to the other, whether it was saying things or acting a certain way out of anger, or feeling disrespected or misunderstood repeatedly by the other, we have been through a lot in these 6 months of living together. And there is no justifying these mistakes. They hurt. They cause damage. They plague our thoughts sometimes. But that is what we need to recognize them as, mistakes. 

I now see forgiveness in a new shade. I see how forgiveness looks when the lights are dim now. It’s a side of the spectrum I’ve never seen before. Forgiveness. It is essential, as we’ve always heard. It changes you. It relieves you of untold burdens. It renews your heart and mind. It leaves you with a light feeling in your heart, as what was once so heavy upon you has been removed. And none of this is anything new to us. These are words we always hear. Words that almost sound cliche because of how often we hear them. But again, looking at something from the outside is nothing like looking at it from the inside. 

Alhamdulilah for all of it, my love. All that has befallen us that we perceive as bad have actually been seeds, full of life and hope and growth. They were all something that taught us lessons. About ourselves, about each other, about Allah, about the Dunya and the Akhira, about the intricate design of males and females, about living a life in servitude towards our Master. So in reality, all of it has been good. HADITH ALL IS GOOD FOR BELIEVER. And if in one of those sorrowful experiences, we could find no lesson, then it was iA a seed that sprouted in Closeness to Allah. We called out to Him more. We depended on Him more. And that is the best outcome that could possibly occur. So in no way were any of these experiences, although sorrowful at the time, bad. Alhamdulilah for all of it.

Alhamdulilah for the happy moments too. We’ve had many of those. There were rose tinted days, there has been an unimaginable sweetness in so many moments. There have been moments I experienced with you that have left a permanent smile on my heart. Alhamdulilah. And it is those days and moments that I will cherish for the rest of my life iA.

My love, this Journey we have embarked on will continue to be filled with thorns and steep hills, and those will strengthen us beyond reasons we can grasp. But it will also be filled with light, ease, and clear walkways. We must be ready to continue walking through both, together. For we are each other’s provision on this Journey. And almost 1 year in from being married to you, I would like to confirm my declaration of commitment to you on this Journey, hand in hand iA.

[tohabibiwithlove]

Yes

[tohabibiwithlove]

[tohabibiwithlove]

[tohabibiwithlove]

Beauty, just like that.

May Allah open beautiful doors for us.

[tohabibiwithlove]

May Allah purify us, my sweet

Sahabi Salmân Al-Fârsî said :

Verily, the land does not make anyone holy; it is the deeds of a man that make him pure.

— Al-Dhahabî Syar A’lâm Al-Nubalâ

[tohabibiwithlove]

And the counterpart (:

Umar b. Al-Khattâb said :

No man can have anything better after faith (îmân) than a woman of righteous character.

— Al-Targhîb wa Al-Tarhîb

[tohabibiwithlove]

Let’s take off

Blast off [994x1280] Visit http://spaceviewsandbeyond.blogspot.com/2017/10/blast-off-994x1280.html for more space pics