toa-advicebox

[toa-advicebox]

Trying this again since it appears many of you don't understand what a clever insult is:

If you have a human the size of dog who will not cease to plague you, how would one best go about eliminating the issue? (I am not talking about wolves, as they are better than him.)

I await your responses.

ㅤ

[toa-advicebox]

I need tips to cope with the overwhelming urge to kill. Thus far I've been mostly managing by ignoring my archnemesis' existence, but he unfortunately lives close to me and he does things that draw my attention both in the hallway and in public (see the nonsense he sent to this damn box). I've considered beating him up, but I don't trust myself enough to not lose control and go all the way to murder where he's concerned. I also don't want to move lodgings, that would be tantamount to letting him have a hold over me. How do I cope, and hopefully put this behind me, if I can't seek revenge?

ㅤ

[toa-advicebox]

Is it common to want to kiss or date multiple of your friends at once? I've no insecurities or issues about my feelings, but I wonder how this is regarded by other individuals or cultures.

ㅤ

[toa-advicebox]

me and my husband have been married for many years now, to the point that we've done all you can think of together. i enjoy just spending time with him in any way, but i find myself wanting to surprise him and give him something he's never truly experienced with me before. can i get some advice on how i can still surprise him (in a good way!) after 5+ years in a relationship?

thank you ♡ 

ㅤ

[toa-advicebox]

Why is everyone shitting on headbands? I thought they looked kind of cool.

ㅤ

[toa-advicebox]

I ate something one of the students gave me, and now I suddenly feel very sick to my stomach. Any advice?

ㅤ

[toa-advicebox]

What can serve as medicine when your chest aches for someone you can not meet in this world?

ㅤ

[toa-advicebox]

Um, ok can somebody help me with this as I'm not the greatest cook. My professor is meeting me in the courtyard for lunch right, and so I prepared sandwiches and clam chowder the night before. But as I was steaming the clams for the soup, I accidentally ended up burning it, totally ruined them. I promised him some of my own cooking, so I don't want to let him down with a half-made meal! What can I do? Should I get food at the dining hall and pass it off as my own cooking?

ㅤ

[toa-advicebox]

This guy has been meeting me after my office hours for a week now, begging me to go to lunch with him. How do I tell him I'm not interested and that I think his headband looks dumb, in a way he'll understand?

.

[toa-advicebox]

(This note is penned in cute, rounded letters, with hearts atop the lowercase 'i' instead of dots. The ink is a pale shade of pink.)

I write stories for fun, and while I'm pretty confident in my ideas I'd like to hear the thoughts of others too~ What sort of plot elements do you find compelling? How about characters? Writing style? Any thoughts you'd like to share on literature are welcome. Thanks for taking the time to read this!

.

[toa-advicebox]

why are a bunch of people outside the monastery in a bird cage

ㅤ

[toa-advicebox]

Have I performed this recipe incorrectly? The instructions required an apple and a fire spell, but I had to substitute the latter with a campfire. I combined the ingredients and cooked per instruction (25 minutes) but I cannot determine what of the apples remain in the firewood. Can someone test this recipe with the proper materials and report your findings?

.

[toa-advicebox]

I have absolutely no interest in the sword but this man I’m interested in is super passionate about it. How do I convince him I’m also into swords when I haven’t held a single one in my entire life? Help?

.

[toa-advicebox]

So there's this annoyance Person I've known before, that I once again find myself face to face with. And like, they've always been so rude to me! Or maybe that's their way of showing affection. I don't know. But here's the thing. They can't EVER know that I actually missed their company. I guess I'm wondering, what should I do? I really want to catch up with them, despite everything...

.

[toa-advicebox]

I have a test for students and staff alike, to gauge one's human understanding.

Consider the case of a maiden who is very attached to her sister, who later married a man. However, one day her sister grows ill, and when the maiden goes to visit her, she cannot. Her legs fail to work the moment she approaches the door of her ill sister, and she loses the capacity to walk even though she was perfectly healthy just before.

What happened? Why did the maiden lose her capacity to walk?

.

[toa-advicebox]

AITF (Am I [M,22] the fopdoodle) for asking what's in basement? I mean, hear me out. My boss [F????,?????] Just So Happens to be very elusive about the fact that the basement may or may not have golems, creatures, and Other Really Cool Fiends down there. (I mean, come on, there was a mission about that recently, right? The cat's outta the bag whether you like it or not, boss lady!) And I, for the funnies, may or may not have died (? Details not important) an incredibly painful and slow death down there while she casually just blew the whole thing off? I mean, it's HER basement, right? Or is this the whole 'if the monster in under the bed kills a man without a sound does it really make it a murderer' type-a-deal? Personally hoping she sees this so we can fist fight in an alley way or have a cup of tea or something.

*

[toa-advicebox]

Can anybody help me with this question? I kept getting a strange answer, so I’d like a second opinion… it’s due by noon tomorrow, so I’d appreciate any help!

Professor, if you’re seeing this… no you aren’t.

(Tacked below is a question cleanly ripped right out of a workbook. You hope it isn’t one of the academy’s lent resources…)

Two armies, Red and Blue, of unequal strength are to face each other on the battlefield. The Blue army has the manpower of 3000 men, 1700 of whom are archers equipped with primarily longbows. The Red army has 5000 men, but only 890 archers equipped with shortbows. The rest of both armies are composed of foot soldiers, and no mages are present. The battlefield is composed of a distance 1000 yards long. When the Red army came within range, the Blue army commenced fire. For the purpose of this exercise, it is given that the average rate of fire and range for a longbow is 6 arrows per minute and 200 yards. The rate of fire is three times that of a shortbow, and twice the range. The Red army spent an average of 60 seconds to cross 100 yards. The probability of success per archer of both armies is considered to be 1/6. Using the following keys, calculate the effect of the arrows on the charging Red army. Then, state which army is victorious in this scenario, and justify your answer.

r = range of weapons

sa = speed of attacker

tfz = time in firing zone

rf = rate of fire

np = number of projectiles launched per weapon

wf = number of weapons firing

trf = total number of rounds fired

e = probability of effective rounds fired, which render an enemy incapacitated

nc = number of casualties

.