tikuri

[tikuri]

quick are you mythologizing sex again? are you making it seem like a special category of human behavior rather than just a thing people do? are you forgetting that it can be silly or fun or simply pedestrian? are you forgetting that it requires conversation and negotiation just like every other human activity that involves other people?

[tikuri]

lawn

Change a single letter and change the word game

I want to play a game with you all.

You have to make a new word by changing only one letter of the last word.

Dirt

[tikuri]

me holding a gun to a mushroom: tell me the name of god you fungal piece of shit

mushroom: can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way that matters

me cocking the gun, tears streaming down my face: I’M NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU

[tikuri]

one of the important cornerstones of fandom is understanding that your headcanon is not everyone else's headcanon, and i'm not sure when people stopped understanding this

#they're called headcanons because they are in your head

[tikuri]

[tikuri]

reblog to give the person you reblogged from the strength to complete The Task™

[tikuri]

“aren’t you tired of being nice” no!!!! i’m tired of everyone else being mean!!!!!!!!

[tikuri]

#snake

[tikuri]

If a worker who isn't the owner says ANYTHING similar to "I'm not really supposed to do this but-" and then does something that helps you, under no circumstances inform the business, including through reviews. You tell them that the worker was polite, professional, the very model of customer service and why you like to go there. You do not breathe a word of the rulebreaking.

#because that is the fastest way to make sure nobody in that company will do that anymore #and you repai them helping you out with getting them in trouble

[tikuri]

Speaking of therapy, I say, as though we're old friends, and you're not a stranger trapped in this metaphorical elevator with me and you can hear the suspension wires starting to fray.

I've been doing a lot of work recently that's focused on imposter syndrome and the feeling that no matter how well or how much I do, I'm not good enough. That I'm somehow tricking everyone into thinking my work is actually good.

Some days it's a minor niggle in my head that I can gentle and soothe with logic and affirmations. Or smother, depending on the mood. Other times it's loud and all-consuming and the mental anguish it causes me is so real I can feel it twitching in my muscles. This desperate fight-or-flight instinct with nowhere to go and nothing to fight but myself.

Anyway, because I'm several types of Mentally Unwell™, I was switching between workshop sheets ahead of next week. Filling in different forms. (Trying to get a good grade in therapy) And I got my "recognize your harmful ADHD coping mechanisms" worksheet mixed in with the "you're not actually lying to people, you just feel like you are because your brain is full of weasels" worksheet, and seeing them side by side made something go topsy turvy in my head, and I just had to sit and breathe for a couple of minutes until the urge to scream passed. Because it clicked, it all suddenly clicked.

The reason the imposter syndrome workshops and therapy sessions aren't sticking was because I do routinely trick people into thinking I'm someone I'm not.

Because I'm masking my ADHD for their convenience.

I've always known there was something wrong with me. My neurotypical peers made it abundantly clear I didn't fit in or was failing in some way I couldn't see nor remedy, no matter how hard I tried.

So I compressed myself into a workaholic box of hyper-competence in the hopes they'd stop noticing the flaws and exploit like me instead. And then subsequently lived with the daily fear that if they looked too close, they'd realize I'm a monumental fuck up with enough personal baggage to block the Suez Canal.

If you ever need someone to burn themselves to ashes for your comfort and convenience, I'm your gal.

Or I used to. Until I had a bit of a breakdown, and the rubber band holding my brain together snapped and pinged off into the stratosphere, never to be seen again.

Unfortunately, the trauma of living like that didn't also fuck off and instead left a gaping maw where my personality ought to be, so now I get to deal with that aftermath.

And it's that aftermath that's affecting the imposter syndrome shit. Because yes, I am hyper-competent and good at what I do-- but it doesn't feel real because that is how I mask.

And the truly frustrating thing is I am good at what I do. I am not pretending. I worked hard to be good at this. It just feels like I'm dicking around because 90% of my personality turns out to be trauma masquerading as humor in a trenchcoat, and having people genuinely like something weird I'm doing is so foreign my brain has decided it's just another form of masking.

I'm pretending to be a good author so people will think I'm a good author, and my brain thinks we are in Danger of being found out. We are in Danger, and writing is Dangerous because then people will know I'm Weird and not whatever palatable version I've presented myself as for their NT sensibilities.

Like the neurotic vampire with a raging praise kink wasn't an obvious giveaway.

Anyway. I got nothing else. Thanks for listening.

I'm going to go be very normal in another room and not stare into the abyss of my own soul for a bit.

[tikuri]

Haruhi joining the Host Club

[tikuri]

So while I haven't read the comics I've been reading a lot of Batman fanfic, slowly drifting towards dc/dp crossovers and in the process I've come across several references to a "metahuman protection/rights act". But when I tried to find out more about it, I couldn't find anything that made it seem like these even exist in canon?

Is the fact they exist the only thing ever mentioned? Are they purely a fanon thing? Do I simply not now where to look?

I would be very greatful if somebody could help me because I am. Confused.

[tikuri]

[tikuri]

So while I haven't read the comics I've been reading a lot of Batman fanfic, slowly drifting towards dc/dp crossovers and in the process I've come across several references to a "metahuman protection/rights act". But when I tried to find out more about it, I couldn't find anything that made it seem like these even exist in canon?

Is the fact they exist the only thing ever mentioned? Are they purely a fanon thing? Do I simply not now where to look?

I would be very greatful if somebody could help me because I am. Confused.

#dc comics #dc comcis #question #also the human rights case agains what was formerly Facebook is. Not making the search Easier

[tikuri]

occasionally there will be a queer person whose way of living their queerness is in conflict with our expectations and definitions for their label

at those times, we remember that queerness is not about the labels, or the definitions, or the rules of expected behaviour, but about living authentically to the crooked strangeness of our human conditions

[tikuri]

hey don’t cry. trees grow out of the ground.

[tikuri]

You're trying to find a German Audiobook on Spotify?

You've come to the right place, cause I love looking for them!

Start here :

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/40cICWyKwr3dW30hm1urer?si=-rPCxBE2RU2kP6M-CYVMgw

Perhaps continue here :

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3xdgnLwG9NJuNi1Cx1Z9yP?si=DkR6bw68SRCkcYQkUHDysA

It's a list of Chapter 1s of German Audiobooks that are professionally recorded and available on Spotify!

I just found this today and immediately wanted to share. Reblog for other German learners!!!