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You can only REBLOG THIS TODAY

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i don’t want a job i want to read good books and drink good coffee and get kissed on the neck

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When I was younger I used to be part of the “only-reads-complete-fics crowd” but as I’m getting older I’m realizing how powerful it can be to have consistent things to look forward to…

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some of yall will be like “i dont care about your dreams, i dont care about your spotify wrapped, i dont want to hear about your interests, dont you dare talk to me about your trauma,” and its like. what do you even have friends for. bc it sounds to me like you dont give a shit about anything that makes them a person. what do you talk about.

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You have been booped by this empty wrapping paper tube.

Reblog to boop all of your followers with it.

#get bONKED

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being a horror fan that experiences panic inducing paranoia fucking sucks like ill just be like wow i cant wait to go watch scary shadow creature video number 74 and then spend the rest of the night clutching my phone with the flashlight on and playing five nights at freddys 4 in real life

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MOTH MUG MY BELOVED!!! AT LONG LAST!!!!

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Y’know an awful lot of Terry Pratchett’s books are concerned with how powerful women are when they get angry and how important anger is as a driving force to defend what is right and to tackle injustice. 

A lot of his most interesting and most deeply moral characters are angry ones. Granny Weatherwax, Sam Vimes, Tiffany Aching. All are to a large extent driven to do good by anger.

And that honestly means a lot to me.

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Sometimes people are just soooo close to getting it.

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randomly remembered “i have d cups, grandpa. the waitress thinks you have dementia” tonight so i decided to find the original tweet again and

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After shoving Hansel in the oven, the witch turns to Gretel - who is currently fending the witch off with a gingerbread chair - and says:

“I can’t believe you thought a trail of breadcrumbs would save you. I mean, honestly, this is a forest! It’s full of animals. Honestly, the very idea that a dumb shit like you thought you could get the better of me is absurd.”

Gretel hits her in the face with said chair. To be fair to the witch, she takes the chairshot like a champ.

“Ow!”

“Did you know,” says Gretel, “that crows are capable of facial recognition?”

“Eh?” Says the witch, clambering to her feet and pulling a candy cane sledgehammer off the wall. “What’s that got to do with anything?”

“Not only that,” Gretel continues, “but they can remember both friends and enemies. And they’ll often follow people they remember as friends.”

The two fence with their sugared weapons for a moment, before the witch knocks the chair out of Gretel’s hands.

“Enough with the bird facts! Honestly, this whole attempted escape has been utter clownshoes. Get in the fucking oven!”

She seizes Gretel by the collar. Gretel immediately sandbags, letting her whole body go limp. This eminently practical defense forces the witch to try and deadlift her. Which is hard, as the witch often skips leg day.

“For example,” Gretel says, as the witch struggles and grunts, “if you feed crows a lot of breadcrumbs, they’ll probably start to see you as a friend and follow you in the hope of more food.”

The witch stops. Outside, she hears the thunder of wings.

“They’ll even bring you shiny things they find as presents!” Says Gretel, as a corner of the gingerbread ceiling is suddenly cut away by a large crow with a knife in its mouth.

“Oh shitballs.” Says the witch, as the crows descend. “I hope you know this is a great unkindness.”

“Technically,” Says Gretel, “It’s a murder.”

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The cultural impact of “boomer” as a pejorative has been disastrous and I’m not even kidding

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i cannot for the life of me find that essay about how sterilized, approachable, “nice” literature was used in victorian england to create a cultural imaginary that wholeheartedly ignored the atrocities being committed by the state, but every time i see someone sincerely make the argument that escapist stories are the only moral form of storytelling it rings in my head like a bell. it haunts me. some of y’all actually think that wide-scale erasure is better that attempting to grapple with messy reality in fiction and it’s honestly so exhausting

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