thunderthighsandspite

[thunderthighsandspite]

Giving up junk food again.

I've gotten myself so much tea and veggies to snack on and natural cheetos (doesn't count lol)

I got to bring my car in for an oil change in the morning and will be getting more healthy food at aldi's tomorrow, maybe.

[thunderthighsandspite]

Trying again.

I'm again trying to lose weight, eat healthy and limit junk food.

I want to give up junk food, but I also can't have all or nothing thinking or I'll binge eat.

My main goal is to not binge.

I'm using my fitbit app to track my food.

I don't have a scale cuz the battery died but I'm guessing I'm 160 pounds and I need to be at least 130 pounds to be healthy.

So far so good. I have my fitbit set to a 500 calorie deficit everyday but it's kinda hard cuz says I'm over my calories if i go over 660 calories (unless I work out) so obviously that's kinda frustrating.

Today I've had less than 1000 calories and its saying I'm over and I'm trying to eat 1200 or more a day but my fitbit is kinda feeding my desire to lose weight quickly by under eating.

I need to eat throughout the day and not eat at night.

That's my main goals.

Different calorie amounts per day, I want to go back to being in control of my weight.

I use to count everything and be really good at portion control.

I also used to be a size 2 and have an 24 inch waist and I want it back.

I gotta be slow, steady and realistic because I need to be persistent and make it a habit to live by.

[thunderthighsandspite]

Keep trying babe.

I binge ate after my last post and I tried to fast today but only lasted until 4:00 & binge ate junk.

I always think "finish this stuff so it's not tempting me anymore" or "just one" and that turns into half the bag or two.

I'm thinking that it's an stress/anxiety thing.

My relationship with food is trash. I only eat trash if left to my own devices and in excess.

I want to give up junk food. It isn't doing me any favors and I binge whenever I eat it.

I want to eat healthy and more frequently throughout the day.

If I don't eat junk food then I'm more likely to eat the healthy foods I buy and I don't feel as anxious or guilty.

I'm also overweight and have high cholesterol so I don't really have a choice.

My clothes don't fit, my Yu-Gi-Oh and DragonBall Z belt no longer fit and I have pants I want to fit into again.

I'm recommiting myself to this lifestyle change right now.

No more junk food, no more soda, no more white flour, no more crackers or fruit roll ups.

I can have all fruit/veggies, whole grain varieties of bread/crackers/cereal, dark chocolate, cheese, meat, milk, almond milk, celsius/v-8 energy drinks, tea, monk fruit/truvia.

I have most of these things here. I have carrots I need to eat and celery.

I'm just sick of feeling like a failure and of my diet ruining my life.

I miss being 115lbs but I'll settle for 130lbs at this point.

I also think I'm going to aim to go to the gym at least once a week (Wednesdays)

I need to be realistic but also firm.

I'm an adult, I'm in control, I'm allowed to say "no" and to do whatever betters me.

I can't eat like this anymore. I finally want to live and I don't want to just LIVE I want to Thrive!

[thunderthighsandspite]

Binges and senna tea.

I'm trying to give up junk food because I can't eat it without binging.

I've been dumb and drinking tea that makes me poop at least once a week.

It's frustrating because I know I'm killing myself with my bad eating habits.

I'm going to try fasting until Monday afternoon.

My Mom said that it helps reset your taste buds and if I'm giving up processed foods that means I need all the help I can get.

I kinda want to fast two days a week and live on tea and liquids on those days and only eat like a fairy on my eating days.

I'm just sick of having high cholesterol and I need to restart my whole body.

[thunderthighsandspite]

I’m officially on a diet.

Counting calories, reading my zoom articles meal replacement shakes.

I’m done being overweight.

[thunderthighsandspite]

[thunderthighsandspite]

I miss being this smol, I miss not having to worry if my leggings from overseas fit me (cuz I used to be Asian size) I miss fitting in kid’s size 10 skirts and being a size 3 in pants,

I’m finally motivated to do something about this crazy weight gain!

I want to be 115lbs again!

[thunderthighsandspite]

Rock bottom.

I binged tonight and purged.

My throat burns, my eyes are red and watery and I just want this nightmare to end.

Tomorrow I’m going to aldi’s to buy fruit/veggies/cheese, protein replacement meals, anything protein (cuz I’m always fucking hungry so I’m going to try and eat more filling foods. I’m sick of always being hungry, unsatisfied and disappointed in myself.) I’m kinda hoping that if I eat better it’ll help me SLEEP better and FEEL better!

I don’t want to feel like a human snail anymore.