thornychairman

[thornychairman]

@lysaandre for all your sad-angry immortal needs

#self promo #lettiing you know lys is a thing

[thornychairman]

//The duality of my villain muses

Rose: narcissist. Doesn't care if you think you bonded he honestly does not care why are you even bringing this up. Ho hum

Lysandre: my wife died and I am making it EVERYONE'S problem

#ooc #lys really repeating history here huh

[thornychairman]

Analysis of @aetherceuse/Lusamine's dietary restrictions + suggested meal plan

Okay since I have actual experience concerning meal plans and special dietary needs and Lusamine here basically has unlimited resources, it's actually rather easy to make meals for Lusamine. A lot of you will look at this list and think either an ED or be all this is really difficult, but honestly it's actually very easy to cook for Lusamine once you eliminate what she won't have.

The no meat rule is easy; it rules out one food type but we can easily get protein from mother sources. So this means her diet will be primarily plant based. Not hard, vegans exist after all!

No alcohol just means it's been eliminated as a drink, but if it's used as a cooking element it will get rid of the one thing she takes issue with -- getting her drunk. When cooked or baked into something, the distinct taste will remain, but the actual mind altering content will have been cooked out! So Lusamine can still have a nice red wine, just not as a drink. It can most likely be used to help flavor something as part of a stew -- she's Kalosian after all, so while as an adult she would refuse meat and alcohol, she would have had tasted some Kalosian stews before.

Nothing overly sweet? That does not eliminate sweet things entirely. Honestly as a patisserie, I do hate the factory made sweets sometimes because the amount of sugar in them can hurt your mouth on first bite a lot of the time, cavities or not. It's like an unpleasant electric shock. But anyways this means she CAN have something sweet, it just needs to be more mellow. Subtle. Also just because on kind of flavor is taken off the table, it doesn't mean the others are. People!!!! Look!!! There are spicy flavors. Sour flavors. Bitter foods. Savory!!! Good umami!!! If you concentrate too much on what flavor she doesn't like you are ignoring the fact she CAN eat others.

Shelf stable foods, canned goods and frozen foods means she doesn't like processed foods, which is fair! While it's not financially stable to not buy foods like these as the main stays of our grocery list, for a woman like Lusamine she can afford getting things fresh or have it freshly made, especially since she has a hired chef to do all the cooking. And if you say she can't have peanut butter or jam, I will tell you now, fresh nut butters and jams/jellies are great. They're a pain to make and you gotta eat it all quick but if have hired someone to do all the prep work well she can still enjoy them! Not that she would it may be too pedestrian for her anyways, but artisanal versions of certain shelf foods are not entirely out of the question for her. And before any of you ask, pectin and agar agar exist as plant based gelatins so she can totally have jam or 'jell-o' if she wanted (probably not unless it was very bougie). This ties into the no preservatives or dyes kind of thing. Basically no processed foods in general. We going with a farm to table kind of gal. She probably has her own farm/direct source, especially if you factor in how this woman is worried someone would try to poison her. She'd control all factors and have her food grown to her specifications. Probably bioengineered fruits and veggies for optimal nutrition.

No black tea or coffee? That's fine! Everyone can have drink preferences (see the no alcohol either portion). And anyways, caffeine not only if addictive and can give you heart problems if you drink too much, did you know it's a diuretic? That stuff makes you pee. Like...a lot. And as a busy, busy woman she'd probably want to keep the bathroom breaks to a minimum. This links to the no caffeine rule. This rules out energy drinks but that stuff is so chemical nobody should drink those.

And we get to the no oily foods, which to me means no fries foods. However this leaves out other methods such as roasting, saute, stir fry (small amount of oil just so nothing sticks) boiling and stewing! Also steaming and a variety of other methods. Honestly, people should be avoiding too much fried food, it's nice as a treat, but you shouldn't be balling at someone else not eating fried food or any food that has too much oil. Most likely things like curry would be out, unless it's Japanese curry, as I know some styles of curry give you some pretty oily results.

So now that I have analyzed Lusamine's restrictions, here's a sample meal plan she might have during an average day. :)))

LUSAMINE'S MEAL PLAN

BREAKFAST

Vegan eggs, sunny side up; vegan honeyed ham; baguette slices with fresh made rawst berry jam; one serving of fresh fruit. Water as a drink and palette cleanser.

Vegan eggs are made from mung bean protein (white yolk) and yellow tomatoes (yellow yolk). The yolks can be prepared in advance and kept in the fridge before they are needed so prepping them is needed every day. An example of an egg yolk recipe: [HERE]

Vegan ham is made from tofu and wheat gluten. The honey glaze can be actual honey if Lusamine will allow it or a honey-alternative, such as maple syrup. Otherwise, the ham itself can be just made to be a savory flavor, instead. Example of vegan ham recipe: [HERE]

Baguette by default has no elements that need to be changed as traditional French baguette does not need anything besides basic ingredients. However, sugar needed for yeast to rise is exchanged with honey. Here an example baguette recipe: [HERE]

Jam from stores is full of refined sugar and other nasty chemical ingredients. So something fresher is a must! It can be kept well in the fridge when sealed, so preparing it once every few days depending on the initial amount made is only needed. An example recipe for jam: [HERE]

One portion of fruit can be anything, but considering the sweet (but not too sweet) contents earlier, it'd be best to balance it all out with some refreshing and sour, like sitrus berry.

LUNCH

Soy sauce tofu-veggie stir fry; one serving of brown rice; one glass of fresh juice with a little bit of carbonated water.

The stir fry meets the requirements of protein and vegetables with minerals and fiber with something flavorful; this can be adjusted to make it a bit spicy as well for something with the occasional kick. Example of recipe: [HERE]

Brown rice is healthier than white rice, giving it a bit more fiber and giving Lusamine a needed portion of carbohydrates.

Due to not liking things that are too sweet, but making it watered down alone is just boring, a bit of carbonated water can make any juice more interesting! 2 parts juice to 1 part carbonated water is the recipe you're looking for! Perrier works best for this.

DINNER

Vegan spaghetti with marinara and chickpea meatballs; water or juice with carbonated water as a drink depending on Lusamine's taste for the day.

The spaghetti noodles! This is where the carbs come in for the evening meal. They can be made without eggs if you want to keep going vegan. Here is a recipe for them: [HERE]

A classic marinara is needed for this meal and can satisfy some need for vegetables and fruit, but you can turn it into a vegetable sauce by adding small chopped veggies such as carrots, celery, mushrooms for added flavour and fiber! Here is a recipe for a classic marinara that you can add to as needed: [HERE] In Lusamine's case, the can of tomatoes would be replaced with fresh tomatoes.

Chickpeas are a great source of plant based protein! In order to fulfill this classic meal, this is the best way to have non-meat meatballs! Recipe for them is [HERE].

If Lusamine decides on a carbonated drink, remember to go for the 2:1 ratio!

DESSERT

II Lusamine deigns to have a dessert or serve up a dessert that she is able to partake in, this is the best one, especially considering the heated climate of Alola: TOFU ICE CREAM! The taste is subtler, not as sweet as it can be adjusted according to the natural sweetness of the fruits used. Of course, instead of refined sugars it would be natural sugars used to sweeten the recipe. Here is a recipe for six different flavours: [HERE]

#brings back the unhinged lusamine meal plan

[thornychairman]

eggy, if u want 👁️👁️

He looks like a fun lil guy!

Tamagotchi-sona // @experthiese

#experthiese

[thornychairman]

🥚 OMG ,..,., IF YOU WANT!!!

Toll fren

Tamagotchi-sona // @picavecalyx

#picavecalyx

[thornychairman]

eggy !

He's just a lil stabby guy.

Tamagotchi-sona // @reiketsui

#reiketsui

[thornychairman]

🥚

assign me a gatchii-sona pwease

He looks so full of justice. Maybe.

Tamagotchi-sona // @turnecoatcoat

#turnecoat

[thornychairman]

Send 🥚/EGGY for me to make your muse a tamagotchi-sona ;)

I will be selective with these, so be aware I might not be able to get to everybody.

#meme

[thornychairman]

Horror idea of trapping John's consciousness inside of a glorified tamagotchi where Rose directly affects his reality all the time in a variety of awful ways, like he's playing the Sims with him. But he never can truly die. He ends up 'resetting' and appears at point one, lives through the day, and then ultimately dies. Lather, Rinse, Repeat. :)))))

The tamagotchi is pink/fairy themed for added insult to injury.

#it'd be pretty horrible riiiiiiight #turnecoat #tagging plane because I must let plane know of all of my unhinged ideas

[thornychairman]

Weird plot idea of Lusamine being named Arven's godmother, but on the flip side the professors also named Rose as a godfather and then we have hilarious parent trap situation but it's for godparents.

#ooc #pls dont take thi seriously i was watching the lindawy lohan movie lol

[thornychairman]

Happy Valentine's Day. Unless you're Lusamine, you get a box of mass produced chocolate with a random collectible trainer card inside.

#happy valentines my friends

[thornychairman]

USEFUL SITES FOR ROLEPLAYERS

Thought I'd make a list of some useful websites for those of us who enjoy roleplaying and what have you here on Tumblr and whatnot.

roleplay formatter: Made by the awesome @rpclefairy. I honestly can't recommend this one enough. Great for adding color, changing the font size, and the whole shebang with bold + italics + underline + strikethrough. 10/10 always use

fsymbols + emojipedia: These are both great for making your tags fancy and whatnot.

alt codes: This is genuinely great for teaching you how to make the symbols with your keyboard for everyday use so there's that. It's especially useful if you and/or your muses speak a second language so that's a bonus.

text color fader: *marge vc* I just think gradient effects on text is neat. *end marge vc*

list of colors (wikipedia): Has a list of an infinite number of colors and their hex codes. Very useful if I do say so, myself. But that's just me.

screencapped.net: Great for getting all sorts of screenshots for making icons, GFXs, promos, and whatnot.

fancaps.net: Also great for getting all sort of screencaps for making icons, GFXs, promos, and whatnot. My only complaint is that it's a little annoying to navigate so here's the proper links to movies, tv shows, and anime.

photopea: Great if you can't afford Photoshop and/or don't like using GIMP.

hakuneko: It's not so much a website as much as it is a program. You can download manga, comics, webtoons, doujinshi, etc. for making your icons, GFXs, promos, and whatnot. It's also just a great way to read stuff and catch up on everything.

Feel free to reblog and add more. <333

[thornychairman]

the way is shut. it was made by the dead. and the dead keep it.

Desmond Le Fay | Expert Coroner | Interpol Agent

Death Keeper: a record keeper who takes detailed notes on the way a person has passed; an expert on matters of murder. An archivist of life/death tales.

Pokemon Coroner OC by KEI. Sideblog to @moonkssd

Warnings: this blog is full of the HORRORS of all kinds, like graphic violence, so please think before you follow!

#self promo #if you like my rose you.will.enjoy desmond here :)))

[thornychairman]

In this blog's version of Galar you get:

Cosmic radiation.

Coal pollution.

And biohazards a la Resident Evil

#dash commentary #it is truly a pick your poison moment lol

[thornychairman]

THNEED SHIPPING NOW WORLDWIDE! NO LONGER MUST ENGLAND BE THNEED-LESS!

There it is, that all-encompassing smile. That gentle upturn of his lips as he tilted his head just so. A small rising of his brows to show his utter perplexion.

And yet those eyes are sharp.

Son, you best be on your way before Rose finds your forest and burns everything to the ground and then blames it on you for bad business practices.

#buymythneedsboy #WELP

[thornychairman]

Puts doll John into the trunk of a Barbie car for emphasis.

#dash commentary #turnecoat #its been updated to have a new arm

[thornychairman]

🔪 hello pokemon swordshield rose galar

How You Die | @lacampeona | accepting

What if he set his sights on Paldea? Rose sometimes thought about it. He was partially Paldean in origin and the idea of going back and conquering the region the same way he did with Galar did come to mind, from time to time. And considering the ways things were being run in the region right now (his ex-wife kept him abreast of the Academy and League situation), it would be easy enough.

But she would be standing in the way. However an elegant lady deserved an elegant death -- solution.

Taking this region away roughly would not do well -- hostile takeovers was such a 90's thing to do. This was the modern era! The land of social justice and virtue signaling -- he could be seen as a hero stepping into the shoes of someone who suddenly died for her country.

A martyr's death. He'd have it arranged just so. La Primera would be lauded as the sainted woman of Paldea, patron of champions and would be champions. The crown jewel of the region's long standing history. A point of pride that he would bring up over and over, always tearful, always so proud to be of the same region as someone so good, so virtuous as Geeta, the former chairwoman of the League...

...which would be in stark contrast to her actual planned death. Something quiet, something quick and clean. Something that could not be put to question. A far cry from the glorious death he would orchestrate for the masses to mourn and weep over. She would be seen as a glorious reminder of the good days, as someone who wanted them all to take one step forward.

And in her death, they would step into Rose's arms, another region taken over through his machinations.

What a wonderful world that would be,

#my other masterpiece #the ypothetical geeta death #death tw