thinkingofthining

[thinkingofthining]

i havent been counting calories at all or using any of me ED apps. i just don’t eat anymore at all without thinking about it. what happened. i just turn down food and drink energy drinks and water. it’s been days since i’ve had a real meal. people are noticing but i can’t stop.

[thinkingofthining]

broke a 45 hour fast by almost binging but stopped after 800 calories. i see it as a win ✌🏻 gunna try another 45 hour fast tho but if i get too dizzy i’ll eat something. been the same weight for about 4-5 days

[thinkingofthining]

1/21/2020

[thinkingofthining]

it seems my family only eats out when i’m fasting 🙄☹️

[thinkingofthining]

fuck

I hate the weekend. I over eat and don't drink water and do to many drugs. during the week I track everything I eat, drink the perfect amounts of water, get great sleep, walk everywhere, and lose weight. then during the weekend I fuck everything up. 

[thinkingofthining]

update: i’m about 80% sure he’s got one after today 😥

so i have a problem...

so my boyfriend is actual thinspo. he looks phenomenal i love his body so much he’s just really skinny with a thin layer of muscle everywhere.

but

having an ED myself i never know if i’m being vigilant or paranoid about others having one too. and i see him eat and we go to dinner together and he mentions loving food but i do the exact same things when i’m with him. and he lets slip occasionally that he’s scared of gaining wieght and when he does gain weight i can tell a difference in his mood and that he gets depressed.

i want to bring it up to him but have no idea how and i care about him a lot and don’t want him to suffer like me. but i also don’t want him to know i’m suffering. i just

i dont know what to do.

[thinkingofthining]

[thinkingofthining]

i lost a pound from this morning after drinking water and coffee all day? someone explain

[thinkingofthining]

i’ve chewed and spit two dark chocolate cookies today

why am i like this

[thinkingofthining]

[thinkingofthining]

[thinkingofthining]

the boyfriend is driving two hours for lunch with me so fasting today and tomorrow morning and then going to try to enjoy lunch with him but the goal is to stay under at least 800 calories in total for tomorrow.

let’s gooooo skinni bitch season

[thinkingofthining]

[thinkingofthining]

small edits which i added BUT i did pretty good today 🖤🖤🖤

1/15/2020

Goal for today:

Breakfast: Coffee with Splenda 8 oz - 2 kcals

Lunch: Spearmint Rain 5 Gum - 5 kcals

Dinner: Decaf green tea with Splenda 2 cups - 0 kcals (Edit: 25 kcal homemade soup)

Snacks: Water Water Water - 0 kcals (Edit: 7.5 oz diet coke)

Total: 32 kcals

Went to the movies with friends last night after already reaching my max calories for the day. Went to Chick fil a and got a Diet Coke only. Went to the movie and didn’t get popcorn or candy. I was so proud of myself and THEN they got hungry again (because 20 year old boy metabolisms) and wanted Canes. Guess which idiot BITCH ate 800 calories of canes chicken, bread, and sauce at 10 o'clock last night? me. im the Bitch. 

Goddamnit all to hell. 

Still 118.2lbs

[thinkingofthining]

dinner ☺️:

25 kcal homemade soup

green tea

[thinkingofthining]

Violet E.

[thinkingofthining]

Goal for today:

Breakfast: Coffee with Splenda 8 oz - 2 kcals

Lunch: Spearmint Rain 5 Gum - 5 kcals

Dinner: Decaf green tea with Splenda 2 cups - 0 kcals (Edit: 25 kcal homemade soup)

Snacks: Water Water Water - 0 kcals (Edit: 7.5 oz diet coke)

Total: 32 kcals

Went to the movies with friends last night after already reaching my max calories for the day. Went to Chick fil a and got a Diet Coke only. Went to the movie and didn't get popcorn or candy. I was so proud of myself and THEN they got hungry again (because 20 year old boy metabolisms) and wanted Canes. Guess which idiot BITCH ate 800 calories of canes chicken, bread, and sauce at 10 o'clock last night? me. im the Bitch. 

Goddamnit all to hell. 

Still 118.2lbs