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thingsareswinging · 2 days
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Out of all the Final Fantasy summons Alexander is by far my favourite and I wanna know how it was pitched because it is a buckwild concept
It is a massive steampunk robot the size of a castle
The robot can be summoned by magic for some reason
The essence of the robot has multiple times been summoned directly into existing fortresses which then turn into the robot
The robot uses "holy" type magic for some reason
Its signarure attack is called "Divine Judgement" implying it has a code of ethics it enforces
The robot can sometimes control time for some reason
The robot has no legs except sometimes it does
It is sometimes depicted as having four giant angel wings
It was named after Alexander the Great for some reason
Just look at it
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thingsareswinging · 12 days
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Everybody acts like each new Game Changer is a new level of betrayal and psychological torture from Sam towards his friends. Did we forget that the very first game changer was "Sam wheels out a strange machine and asks the contestants embarrassing personal questions, the veracity of their responses is judged by the Machine. The machine is actually controlled by the contestant's significant others who have been made accomplices. Forcing their loved ones into revealing shameful truths for internet broadcast." And sure, he's gotten a bit more personalized with these, constructing a variety of torture chambers for Brennan Lee Mulligan specifically, putting Grant O'Brien in various situations and then bringing his mother onto the set. But deception and betrayal were part of Game Changer from the beginning. So, when I hear people say "I can't believe Sam WENT THERE" about something all I can do is think to myself He went nowhere He's been there the whole time
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thingsareswinging · 15 days
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Thoughts on Jason Todd’s choice of weaponry?
:D an ask! Yay!
Oooh, lets see, I'll start with the crowbars because I appear to be like one of three people on the entire planet who actually likes them.
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They're a tacky as fuck riff on the fact that Jason's death is central to his character. They overemphasize the manner in which he died, muddy the waters about what part of his death is important to him, and strangely cheapens the manner in which he died through the parody feel of it.
No one seems to really disagree with my analysis here, but I happen to enjoy that about them and think it's very on brand for Jason. What can I say? They're fun!
Best Quality - His Wiggles
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This ultra-sharp curved blade used to be his signature character design feature, the way the white streak in his hair is now, and I'm really not sure why it didn't stick!
Best weapon he's ever had, bring it back please!!!!!
The All-Blades
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hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....
HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM...
I have mixed feelings about the All-Blades. Like much of Lobdell's work: phenomenal idea, poor execution. Giving the guy who is most known for being morally grey a set of powers that is exclusively based on moral absolutes sucks shit, I gotta be honest, and the trick he pulled on the blood blade was cool but ultimately does nothing to solve those problems.
HOWEVER
I want to love them so fucking badly. A set of glowy soul blades is a dope sicknasty off the chain concept and I wish the well wasn't poisoned with the moral implications and the restrictions to use them only on the "Untitled", a set of enemies that only exist for Jason so far as I can tell. If someone seriously took Jason down a magic based path that removed the DnD alignment chart bullshit, I would be so game to see them come back! Hell I wouldn't even insist on a better cooler design for them!
...though uh, yeah those are the least interesting magic sword designs I've ever seen tbh
Normal Ass Swords
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They're alright I guess. Like, there's nothing in it really, but it's not bad?
Guns - Real Bullets
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Excellent, evocative yet simple, straightforwards and to the point. It makes hella sense thematically to boot, love this for him, please give him back his pistols and miniguns and shit
Guns - Rubber Bullets
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Hate. HATE. hate ick disgusting bad NO.
I just fucking hate rubber bullets, like, as a concept. I refuse to accept "non-lethal" bullets as a valid use of gun, either in real life or in fiction. Guns are for putting many holes in things very fast!!!! If you're gonna use a gun, fucking well own up to that!!! Do not play this silly ass game of pretending that you can change out the material and do the same things as with lead bullets but with the video game status effect of "non-lethal" applied. YOU ARE GIVING PEOPLE SMALL CIRCULAR BRUISES. This is still harmful, yes, ooph ouchie, but it is not even slightly a good use of a gun, you are wasting holster space, and carry weight, and the physical materials used to make it all!!
JUST USE A FUCKING STICK! YOU DON'T RUN OUT OF STICK AMMO!
My belief in his capacity to take out enemies is shattered the instant those fuckers are on panel. Maybe this ain't entirely rational, or realistic to how fights go with rubber bullets IRL, but I hate them so much on principle that I will ignore any counterargument you might have that they'd work. I will die on this hill. Rubber bullets BAD. Please stop making him use this!!
Bombs
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Love it, give him more bombs forever
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ka-BOOM!!!!
His Brain
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This is actually his best weapon - sorry wiggly knife, you're being shunted down to number 2 on a last minute technicality! I think Jason is at his best when he's outsmarting people and making long term fucked up schemes to ruin people's lives.
He's so good at it! It's so fun to watch him do it!
Genuinely a shame that this facet of him was mostly lost after Flashpoint, though to give credit where it is due, in Rebirth Jason did ruin the Penguin's life in an impressively elaborate way, which I did really enjoy. I want to see him be a tactical deliberate menace to one person in specific again idk, that's part of why I do kinda agree that he works better as an antagonist than a protagonist - which it should be noted does not mean I think he works better as a villain necessarily, his ethics aren't what matter here - he's just had his best moments as the schemer, and it's hard to have a protagonist schemer even when you make them ethically the good guy.
I hope you enjoyed my nattering on about Jason's weapons :D thank ye again for ask!
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thingsareswinging · 16 days
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It's a Salazar to remember!
I'm sorry this is all I've ever been able to think of whenever I see the stupid robot statue. I love it so much. It's so fucking stupid.
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thingsareswinging · 16 days
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so… you’re telling me that our dad isn’t actually our dad, and we’re just his genetic clones?! and my dad wasn’t even my dad… HE WAS JUST A BODY DOUBLE???
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thingsareswinging · 17 days
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reminder that it's okay to celebrate 4/13 even if you're only culturally homestuck.
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thingsareswinging · 20 days
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ULTIMATE ULTIMATE YURI-OFF
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thingsareswinging · 20 days
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Source Mike Peditto on Insta
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thingsareswinging · 24 days
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thingsareswinging · 24 days
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made a hot new playlist to get hyped for my upcoming oral argument
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thingsareswinging · 1 month
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Having a great time reading this 80’s comic. I sure hope green arrow doesnt get crucified
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thingsareswinging · 1 month
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thingsareswinging · 1 month
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I’ve been listening to a podcast about Rasputin lately (two, actually, but one is older and more on the “comedy” than the “history” angle). One of them said something that made me think – a lot of what we have regarding Rasputin is either oral history or written by his enemies, who wanted to slander both him and a woman (the queen Alexandra) who lost power during a revolution. This is not to say Rasputin was a good person, because he was not, but the specific way in which his story was warped means that he could have been and we would still have thought he was a terrifying quasi-immortal sex wizard for most of the 20th century.  
It’s not a 1:1 comparison, but it occurred to me that this is exactly what could have happened to, say, a Jedi who spent time with a princess in the days of the Old Republic. It’s a little bit funny if it’s Anakin, but it’s fucking hilarious if after Padme’s death and the rise of the Empire, all the rumors and legends and stories about a politician’s pet wizard and possible lover were centered around an influential, experienced Jedi…like Obi-Wan Kenobi.
Fucking imagine if R2 rolls up all “Yo I need to talk to Kenobi” and Luke goes “Like…the weird mystic advisor to the princess, that Kenobi? I’m pretty sure old Ben Kenobi isn’t him but he might have his email address” and they go off to see the random desert hermit who immediately says “Oh yes I am in fact that Kenobi. But it’s cool, I definitely did not do most of what they said I did and I’ll deny the rest.” 
And Luke’s just left there like do I tell him about the song that calls him Alderaan’s Greatest Love Machine? Do you think he can pop his head off his body like in that one movie about him? Is there a polite way to ask if the rumors about his monster dong are true? There isn’t, right? 
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thingsareswinging · 1 month
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thingsareswinging · 1 month
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full offense but none of you would have ever survived fanfiction.net in 2009
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thingsareswinging · 1 month
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Lae'zel's character and her entire situation at the beginning of the game becomes so much more funny when you find out she's 22. It makes so much sense. Imagine you're 22 and you're exposed to this dangerous toxin or chemical or something - but not to worry, you learnt that this can be easily fixed, you just need to dial 911 real quick. Common knowledge. Everyone knows that. You learnt that in kindergarten, it's up there with fire alarm drills.
But the people you're stuck with have no concept of modern medicine and when you say "let's go to the hospital" they will say shit like "i think they kill people at the hospital" and "we should ask this swamp lady" or "this guy over there told me about this homoeopathic healer kind of guy but he got abducted" or "this random bard wants to help" and "I'm not going to dial 911 because I don't want the government to know my home address" or "maybe we should consider a deal with Satan". And then a bunch of them KEEP consuming the chemical because it makes them "stronger". One guy might explode for unrelated reasons. You have a few days before this situation is getting critical and suddenly they're solving crime and doing general charity for the community.
And FOR SOME REASON you still try to help these idiots and you STILL want to help them get the cure even though they all keep insisting the "doctors" at the "hospital" might try to "kill them" and they don't have insurance. And you keep telling them to just. go. to. the. hospital. before the time runs out and you all die very horribly of a very treatable condition.
And also you're 22 in a foreign country and you're responsible for shepherding this gaggle of idiots who are all ranging anywhere from 24 to 240 years old.
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thingsareswinging · 1 month
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vintage lego dragon my beloved~
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