thetruemommabear

[thetruemommabear]

[thetruemommabear]

Instagram : krewkutz

This made me feel really happy ❤️

#honestly #warms my heart

[thetruemommabear]

[thetruemommabear]

"Don't just throw ripped jeans away, you can repair them using these 10 cute Visible Mending techniques!!" unfortunately my friend the first point of failure for every single pair of jeans i have owned in my life has been the Crotch and Ass. Knees: fine, cuffs: fine; but 3 years in, and all that stands between the world and my astronaut-patterned taint is 0.5µm of denim worn so thin that every squat threatens to tear it to shreds like wet toilet paper. If the Tiktok craft community could figure out a way to resurrect jeans afflicted in such a way that doesn't involve adding a whole ass buttpatch like some sort of inverse assless chaps situation then that'd be great

[thetruemommabear]

This machine kills AI

[thetruemommabear]

[thetruemommabear]

[thetruemommabear]

happy glorious 25th of may

[thetruemommabear]

Any excuse to get the pole out 🙄

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#I will do this at times #as a ranged fighter #just like I’m far away and you can’t hit meeeee

[thetruemommabear]

Not what I expected coming from John Green

[thetruemommabear]

These are my preferences, but your mileage may vary, depending on your personal dance style!

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[thetruemommabear]

[thetruemommabear]

More weird pole footwear

The flip flops took me by surprise!

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[thetruemommabear]

i am about to bestow upon you the secret butter technique. i am sorry, but it is french. i am sorry again, this only works with cow butter. i am certain plant based butters wouldn’t work, and alternative animal butters may or may not work

has this ever been you: you have a nicely steamed vegetable, or maybe you want to make the best butter noodles, but you know that if you put butter on those it’ll just melt and you end with kind of greasy noodles or vegetables? don’t you wish it was instead a luscious buttery glaze?

introducing: beurre monté

you will take a small sauce pan, and begin heating it with 1-2 tablespoons of water (use very little water) and bring it to a hard simmer or boil

turn the heat down slightly, and add Butter. how much? however much you dare. (start with 3-4 tablespoons and go from there)

you are going to either whisk Aggressively or you can pick up the saucepan, still holding it over the heat, and swirl aggressively so the butter is skating around the sides of the pan

done correctly, you will have liquid butter that is still emulsified. you have made Butter Sauce. season it with a little salt, and toss whatever you want in it.

if you’re butter splits, i’m sorry. you didn’t agitate it enough to maintain the emulsion, and now you have melted butter.

you can use this knowledge to make other sauces by swapping out the water for another liquid. white wine becomes beurre blanc. red wine is beurre rogue.

you want to CUM? sweat minced shallot in a tiny bit of butter, add white wine and cook it out until it’s reduced by about half. then whisk butter in hard. a few flecks of minced thyme or fennel frond stirred thru, and you eat that with a nice seared fish? or scallop? or even shrimp? wow. you will Nut

your boxed mac and cheese game can also be elevated by cooking your pasta and making a beurre monté first, tossing your pasta in that and adding the cheese packet. wow. hey; you’ll cum

go forth now with this butter secret

[thetruemommabear]

it is well established canon that my response to nearly any outlandish behavior that has impacted my day is to write the perpetrator a polite but firm letter

the letter i composed today and am about to drop off is perhaps less polite than I am typically capable of

[thetruemommabear]

"corsets are a barbaric painful tool of the patriarchy" says the era with sitting down pants and waist trainers and push up bras and brazilian butt lifts and preventative botox and full coverage foundation and no makeup makeup and full body waxing and and and and

[thetruemommabear]

Happy International Museums Day to the following people:

The guy who called me the Whore of Babylon for teaching kids about Ancient Egypt as I stood there and nodded.

The woman who was deeply incensed that staff wouldn't open the cases so she could touch the organic objects.

The one guy who made me translate hieroglyphs on a stele for him, then was mad because it didn't say what he wanted it to say, and reported me for 'lying' to the public.

The parents who objected to the taxidermied animals having taxidermied genitalia because it was unseemly.

Those kids on a school trip who got on the floor in front of a mummy and started chanting 'we worship Ra' as their teacher desperately tried to get them to leave.

That one guy who...uh...really liked geodes. No, they were not a special interest. He really, really liked geodes.

#different industry but man do I feel with you #people working with the public need to stick together!