thetreeemusketeers

[thetreeemusketeers]

[thetreeemusketeers]

Gentle headbutts with dragons are my favorite

[thetreeemusketeers]

“Sephora will start selling entry-level witch kits in October.”

All right witches, listen up.

Sephora is to begin selling a “witch kit” next month featuring a tarot deck, fragrances, a sage bundle, and a rose quartz crystal for $42.

I think it’s wonderful that witchcraft is making a resurgence, but what I don’t think is wonderful, is that a huge corporation like Sephora is trying to tap into this market.

Why don’t I like it?

Because Sephora has their fingers in enough pies and generates over $4 billion in revenue per year.

Because witchcraft produce and supplies should be provided by people with knowledge on the practise(s) and who care enough to make sure their products are ethical, of a high quality, and non-appropriative.

Because Sephora will be stealing business from actual witchcraft and occult centric shops who likely don’t make huge sums of money anyway due to the niche nature of the market.

Because Sephora doesn’t need the fucking money!

So, I urge you to share this post and refrain from purchasing this “entry-level” witch kit (and any future witchcraft related product) from Sephora. Instead, support small, witch-owned businesses. We need you and we’ve got your backs.

Here is a list of shops owned by witches. Check it out!

[thetreeemusketeers]

My website – My Facebook page – See me on LINE Webtoon!

[thetreeemusketeers]

Xanathar’s Guide to Everything does not, in fact, have everything, but what it does have is many, many pages of random roll tables for names.

Not pictured: quite a few pages more of real-world Human names.

[thetreeemusketeers]

Seasons Greetings my dudes!

[thetreeemusketeers]

dungeons and dragons always has great stuff. there’s a jug that you can use to create 2 gallons of mayonnaise at will, like it’s actually written in the dungeon masters guide can you believe that

[thetreeemusketeers]

christmas eve what about christmas adam

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Why do you like sharks?

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A cup o’ noodles 🍜

[thetreeemusketeers]

[thetreeemusketeers]

😒😒😒😒part 2

[thetreeemusketeers]

amazing 💯💯💯💯

[thetreeemusketeers]

Fun Bard Idea: A male stripper who was mistaken for a professional adventurer while wearing his "hot knight" costume. His magic striptease captivates all who gaze upon it, stupefying them with hypnotic undulations.

Fun Character Ideas

[thetreeemusketeers]

big boy is doing a little boogy and this tiny boy comes to attack him

[thetreeemusketeers]

I can’t do justice to one of the weirdest camp stories I know. My friend tells it so well, and I can offer only a pale shadow of his story.

Last summer, he was working with one of the younger units comprised of ten year old boys. They had spent the night camping on another beach and were just readying themselves to depart. “Make sure you have all your things!” called my friend. “Don’t leave anything behind!”

One small boy came up, dragging a massive tangle of decomposing seaweed behind him. “But… what about me boy?” he asked, lip trembling.

“…what is ‘me boy’?”

The child held up the stinking wad of bull kelp. “This is him. This is Me Boy.”

“Me Boy is not coming back with us,” said his counselor. “You’re going to leave Me Boy behind on the beach where he belongs.”

The campers loudly mourned the loss of Me Boy. They insisted on giving him a Viking burial at sea, which just consisted of pushing him solemnly off the back of the rowboat into the water and watching him drift away in the surf.

That was only the beginning. Me Boy would be back.

The campers, in true camp fashion, possessed some kind of cultic hive-mind and a predisposition for bizarre memes. Me Boy would not be forgotten. They started telling each other stories about Me Boy and how he would one day rise again. There were warring factions with contradicting dogmas about Me Boy. Only when the gardener allowed them to take home a zucchini she had harvested did they find their god, born anew.

Me Boy, The Zucchini That Was A God, became the whole unit’s mascot. The kids would bicker over who got to carry him. They built nests and carriers for Me Boy and brought him to different activities, fiercely defending him from those that would do him harm. One child appointed himself the Voice of Me Boy and would translate the zucchini’s divine wishes into human speech.

It got out of hand. Me Boy had become a distraction, a fixation, a violent controversy. Something had to be done.

My friend, their counselor, took it upon himself to kill Me Boy. The children wailed in despair as he chopped their God into refreshing slices. With this sudden turn of fortune, followers of Me Boy turned to theophagy. “We must eat him to preserve his power!” they cried. Boys who would otherwise never have touched a vegetable ate greedily of this sacrament, eager to let Me Boy live on within them.

For a time, it seemed that peace and order had been restored, and the religion had already faded into its silver age. But only for a time.

In the last few days of camp, the religion of Me Boy splintered into several denominations. Every meal yielded new vegetable matter said to be a reincarnation of Me Boy, only for opposing groups to dismiss these as false prophets. Some believed that Me Boy was gone. Others believed his spirit lived on, intangible, omnipresent. Some believed he had found a new vessel inside a carrot, a pear, a slice of cantaloupe… even inside a child. There was chaos, and strife, and heartbreak without the guidance of Me Boy.

[thetreeemusketeers]

6 was scared of 7 because 7, 8 ,9 but why did 7 eat 9?

Because you’re supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day.