thetortoisesnatcher

[thetortoisesnatcher]

[thetortoisesnatcher]

this guy gets it

[thetortoisesnatcher]

if the truman show came out in 2020 trumans life would be livestreamed 24/7 and the twitch chat would be absolutely wildin. poggers

[thetortoisesnatcher]

whenever i'm trying to talk myself out of buying something i don't need i always hear my old russian professor's voice echoing in my head: "WHAT??? WILL YOU DIE THE RICHEST MAN IN THE GRAVEYARD?" and then i make an unwise financial decision

[thetortoisesnatcher]

hey is it just me or does allowing replies from sideblogs sound like a horrible idea

[thetortoisesnatcher]

a lady at work couldn't remember spongebob's name and to describe him she said "he works at the restaurant... with his friend". and that's how some people live their lives

[thetortoisesnatcher]

August 28, 1930 Journals of Anais Nin 1927-1931 [volume 4]

[thetortoisesnatcher]

nothing makes me more insane than the phrase "selling your body" btw. like was i not also selling my body at every other job i've had where i had to be on my feet all day, lifting boxes, working in a warehouse, etc. why is it that sex work is uniquely labeled as "selling your body" while every other job is sorted into another category, no matter how much that job might have a physical impact on your body. lmao.

[thetortoisesnatcher]

im so understimulated i need to sink my teeth into flesh or something

[thetortoisesnatcher]

stopped driving somewhere and got frozen yogurt because i saw a sign for it. turns out you can just do that. like nobdoy can stop you

[thetortoisesnatcher]

[thetortoisesnatcher]

There's a reason the state starts by going after the people you refuse to respect

[thetortoisesnatcher]

pros of putting laundry away immediately after it is dry

less wrinkles

yayyyy organization

it is done

cons

right now you have to do it. Right fucking now. nightmare world hell on earth torture realm pain and suffering and carnage

[thetortoisesnatcher]

still fucking around still finding out

[thetortoisesnatcher]

[thetortoisesnatcher]

why must i get a degree. is it not enough to be bisexual

[thetortoisesnatcher]

I am a terrible combination of “whatever happens, happens” and “If everything doesn’t go according to plan, I will vaporize”