thestarteller

[thestarteller]

Tobie Lolness is now out on France TV ! It will be hairing all month, and should also come out in internationnal television. Making this series was such a Ton of work :') We made our best with the time and money we had to make this Tree feel rich and alive !

[thestarteller]

Ask Polly: How Am I Supposed to Make Friends in My Late 20s?

[thestarteller]

hey, don’t cry. one half flour one half yogurt knead into dough and fry for easy flatbread and dip in balsamic vinegar, okay?

[thestarteller]

[thestarteller]

Stargazer, Stargazer

[thestarteller]

A lot clicked for me when my mom said the reason she was so reactive towards me as a kid was that she assumed intent behind things I did, rather than recognizing my behaviors for being normal kid behaviors or normal autism behaviors. So I got treated as if I was an adult who was intentionally doing things to upset her. She'd react to me like I had the maturity and wherewithal to do things in a cruel or manipulative way, making her life harder, when I was just existing. Just trying to learn how to cope and be a person myself. When she told me this I stopped in my tracks trying to process. Why would anyone's default assumption be that a kid is trying to antagonize them instead of like, struggling with something they're experiencing? But she was also raised the exact same way, treated like everything she did carried the weight of adult responsibility, not seen as a kid.

[thestarteller]

This is an article I've shared before that I've written, but I wanted to share it again so that I could post the text below the read more for those that aren't comfortable clicking to an external site.

This is a post about how to work on avoiding giving into harmful urges.

Something that comes up a lot in BPD, but also a number of other disorders, is impulse control and urges.

It can be so hard to not give in. For example, when feeling angry, we might have an urge to scream at someone, say something hurtful, harm ourselves or any number of things.

It’s really important to learn how to cope with harmful impulses and urges.

One way to do this is what is called Urge Surfing. Urge surfing is about “riding the wave” of an urge. The longer you resist an urge, the stronger it seems to get, much like the building of a wave. If you do give into an urge, that teaches your brain that giving into the urge is the only way to make it go away. However, research has shown that urges generally last for 20 to 30 minutes. It may feel like it’s going to keep on getting stronger and stronger until you give into it, but much like a wave, it will break and go away if you can avoid it.

Trying to directly stop an urge can be difficult. If you have ever tried to swim directly against a wave, you know that it can be exhausting. Especially as it gets stronger, it can feel like a wave will overwhelm you. On the other hand, if you swim to the side or otherwise do not work directly against the wave, you can move out of its power or give it time to break and dissipate without using nearly as much energy. Working with urges can be exactly the same.

One way I resist an urge is the “not now, later” approach. With this approach, I tell myself that, “Okay, you want to do that thing? That’s fine, but it has to be later.” I find this works for a lot of things because when I outright tell myself, “no,” I find it harder to let go of the urge. By telling myself I can give into the urge, but do it later, I find I can ignore the urge in less discomfort and usually by the time later arrives (I like a “sleep on it” rule for later, depending on the situation), the urge has passed and I can move on. If I do this repeatedly, I teach my brain to understand that the urge will go away whether I act on it or not.

Some things that can be useful to do when Urge Surfing:

Recognize and acknowledge that you are having an urge

Notice and describe the thoughts and feelings you are having, without trying to change or suppress them. This may be uncomfortable, but that’s okay. Discomfort while feeling an urge is normal.

Remind yourself:

There is nothing wrong with having urges. They are normal and natural parts of having addictions, habits and desires.

Discomfort is okay.

An urge is a desire, not a need. I can have an urge and choose not to act.

Urges are temporary. They will pass, whether I give into them or not.

Some other things you can do are focus on distracting yourself whether that’s by activities you like, grounding techniques or just overall keeping busy.

Remind yourself that you are in control. As hard as it is, you can choose not to act on your urge. It may feel impossible, but you can do it, and reminding yourself of that can help.

If it helps you, you can journal about your feelings and urges. Sometimes writing them down can help us realize why the urge isn’t good to give into. With that said, you can also spend some time thinking about why you shouldn’t do the thing you want to do. For example, you don’t want to yell at your friend because you know the feeling you’re experiencing is temporary and you don’t want to cause them unfair hurt which can also have lasting effects on your friendship. (With that said, if after you are calmer and you rationally think that cutting a friend off is better for your own mental health, then you should do that.)

And as time goes on, the urge should get less. This can help us because we are aware the discomfort we are in won’t last. If we feel like the discomfort won’t go away until we act on the urge, we are more likely to act on the urge to make it stop. Remind yourself that it will pass on its own.

Over time, Urge Surfing can help your brain learn that it doesn’t need to react to urges. It can help to make urges easier to avoid giving into, in the long-term.

[thestarteller]

“Every Italian noble in the medieval commune era” - ENGLISH SUBTITLES

[thestarteller]

I had my own premature nugget around the same time you had Miss Penny, and one of the big things we say to her is "it is so hard to be so small and have such big feelings."

More so since she recently got diagnosed with autism.

We were trying to redirect her banging her head against things, and we were successful. Now when she starts to melt down, she goes and grabs a pillow and lays on the floor with it, and when she is calmer she will get back up and come to try and communicate again (note: she doesn't talk almost at all.)

HOWEVER.

An unforeseen side effect has occurred where if she sees someone in the house get upset, she will run to the nearest pillow and just hurk it at us full force and insist we have floor time while she whispers "feeeeeeeelingsssss" at us.

I mean tell me it doesn’t make you feel better tho

[thestarteller]

A comic about the spectrum of responses to stress - we talk alot about the more extreme ends of this and trauma, but the more subtle and every day responses can be harder to spot. if we can understand our own and other’s responses better, problems Are easier to confront and blaming is less likely to happen :) hope it’s helpful!!

[thestarteller]

How we weigh an octopus!

[thestarteller]

I have a folder called Time is a Flat Circle in which I collect evidence of humanity. Here is most of them.

[thestarteller]

Australian Federal Election 2001: Pranksters follow around Prime Ministerial contender Kim Beazley in an attempt to sneak fake microphones into news footage

Follow for more Batshit Moments in Australian Politics

[thestarteller]

the experience of having over a thousand followers on tunglr dot hell

[thestarteller]

My final comic is done! The origin story of Echo the dragon before she premiers in my year long student film titled Glass Roses! Echo goes through a series of homes and feels like she’ll never find her forever home before finally being adopted by the glassblower Harper. Enjoy her prequel and Glass Roses will be posted in the next two weeks!

[thestarteller]

My husband came to the youth theater rehearsal I was directing last night to work on some set pieces. He usually only works set on weekends when nobody is there, so his goal was to be totally inconspicuous. But the second and third graders treated him like a walking stim video. They were totally absorbed by his painting and drilling and clapped for him when he began or finished a task.

[thestarteller]