theperksofbeingbarbie

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working hard at the sunk cost factory

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I do. God help me I do

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Not me explaining that here on Tumblr tits is a gender neutral term for big chests unless the person has said they don't like it

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is that simple task bothering you queen

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teacher was having mic problems on online lecture and i love the way this guy phrased this

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Me, on the welcome desk in the library: Good morning, how are you today?

Customer: I have welcomed Jesus into my heart and so I am well today and every day.

Me, a little unnerved: Okay then! Is there something I can help you with?

Customer, digging around in his bag and pulling out an iPhone in a box: Unfortunately, Jesus can't help me with this fucking phone, so I came to the library.

#fucking love libraries

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#queen

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mothers day cards: hey queen 👸😋! thank you for cooking 🍳 and cleaning 🧽🧹🧺 and shopping 🛍🛒 and taking care of our health insurance 🙊⚕️and just being a great beautiful lady! 🥰❤️ we love you so much mom!!!

fathers day cards: you FART 💨 and thats FUNNY 🤡

[theperksofbeingbarbie]

he saw his reflection for the first time

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Reblog to put one of these in your mutuals’ pocket when they’re not looking

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not a dream

Just finished Netflix's Is It Cake, Too? (season two of Is It Cake?) and one of the contestants freaking hand painted the Mona Lisa in under 10 hours and did I mention that it was also a cake?

Miko Kaw Hok Uy, everybody!

[theperksofbeingbarbie]

Mina, writing to Lucy: I cannot wait to hear how Jonathan is doing on his travels! He must be having such a lovely time <3

Jonathan, in his diary: OH GOD OH FUCK HE CAN CLIMB WALLS LIKE A LIZARD NOW. I HAVE ONLY A CRUCIFIX FOR PROTECTION AND I AM GOING TO DIE TO A LIZARD MAN. THERE IS NO WAY OF ESCAPE SO I MAY AS WELL WRITE MY GOODBYES. FAREWELL MINA!!!

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everyone has to stop making posts like "the world's loneliest ant has died in secret" its making me sad

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They should invent a new kind of body that doesn't do that

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& Did!!! Give that woman her credit for dissing Nicki, Drake, Tory supporters, her old dudes all in ONE SONG and going #1. That shit was EPIC!!

[theperksofbeingbarbie]

Unmute !