theothersarshi

[theothersarshi]

This is gonna sound rather conceited but I feel like it highlights an issue we have in Art.

I'm good at art. I've never had a hard time making art. I started using crayons before I could walk. Painting, Beadwork, sculpture, sketching, stippling, whatever- once I have a feel for the material, it doesn't take long to start doing what I want with it. It's been a common theme my whole life.

(Y contrast I'm awful at things like dancing, performance, sports, etc- in all things there is balance, right?)

Now, I've taught myself to use so many artistic mediums now that I KNOW how to most efficiently integrate them into the brain database. Once you really *understand* a material, it's much like memorizing the layout of your house, or flexing a muscle, or something in-between- it becomes PART of your brain in a way I cant quite articulate. But to get there involves just fucking around for a bit doing nothing in particular.

And I've found, especially in group settings, that nobody seems to be able to see you make something badly and leave you alone. Even if you say you're fine, you don't want help, you're happy, you're having fun, it's fine, they gotta ride your ass and hover.

I was at a class the other day for something I hadn't done before. The medium was one I've never used, so once the instructor told us the basics I started experimenting with weight, gravity, texture, viscosity, saturation, temperature, etc. The instructor had given enough info to know what was dangerous and what was safe, and beyond that I just wanted to absorb what I could about it.

And no insult to the instructor, but they kept checking in. Which was fine the first few times.

But then, without asking me what I was trying to do, started giving tips. That I told them I was grateful for but didn't really need just yet. If I had a question, I'd ask.

But they kept coming over. And touching my shit. And manipulating my project. And touching my hands. And using my tools. Without fucking asking.

And this happens every time. EVERY TIME. And by now I know the best way to get them to fuck off is to make something way beyond their expectations so they know I'm capable, then go back to doing what I want.

So I did. I wanted to keep having fun and learning, but instead I made something beautiful that I really didn't want to make, and wasted my time, and really didn't learn what I wanted to learn at all. I knew the formula to create a beautiful thing, so I followed that formula the same way I have a hundred times before, and didn't get to try anything spontaneous or ugly or exciting, just so I could be left alone.

And I know when I was a kid, I was aware aware people saw me puttering alone on something ugly assumed I had a special issue and treated me like I was stupid because of that. (I was neurodivergent.) And at at time I knew that I could do a neat trick for them like a trained pony and they'd go, "Oh, surely they aren't defective if they can do something like that!" And piss off.

But what if I hadn't known how to do that?

What if I hadn't been talented, or "special"?

What if I'd been just any other average kid trying to learn, and I couldn't pop something pretty out of my ass to get them off my back?

My problem my whole life has been that I haven't been allowed to make anything ugly in peace. I'm capable of beauty, so I have to make beauty, or get stepped on. And once people see what I can do, they get loud about it. "Look at this! Look what they did! We all know who the best is, don't we?". And that used to feel good, but it's tiring.

And how many people like me just wanted to play? Just wanted to have fun and experiment? Who were having fun with no goal in mind, or just took longer to learn, who gave up because of all the obnoxious helpers breathing down their neck with no way to shake them off?

How many of us are made to feel defective because we aren't doing things beautifully?

I have a lovely piece of art I didn't want to make.

I think I'm gonna frame it.*

(*I think I'm gonna burn it in my yard.)

[theothersarshi]

Ok, I reblogged this without commentary, but I totally get you, 16 yo. I'm 35 right now, and I wouldn't consider you a child; I remember being 16, and while I'm a very, very, very different person right now than I was when I was 16, the experience of being 16 is way closer to the experience of being 30 than it is to the experience of being 10.

I'm smarter, wiser, more experienced, I know how to do all sorts of shit, I've got so many things together, but it's about how much I've been through, and the number of things I've thought through carefully. It's evolution, for sure, but it's me-driven; I grew.

When I was 10, some parts of me still hadn't been unlocked. Who I was still came as a shock at times - occasionally, as a nasty shock.

The old school lack of transparency on tumblr is amazing because you assume the people you follow must all be equivalent to you and then you see someone write “I brought my youngest to college today” and someone else write “my mom wouldn’t let me listen to Ariana Grande when I was a kid” and then your head explodes

[theothersarshi]

#damn

[theothersarshi]

[theothersarshi]

I don't know what tenth circle of hell my YouTube algorithm fell into, but I really wish it would stop showing me videos of 5 a.m. morning writing routines.

[theothersarshi]

straight guy geologist describing a vertically oriented igneous intrusion to his buddy: it’s a . well. i’m not sure i can reclaim this one just get over here

[theothersarshi]

People tend to throw out the phrase "extremely specific kinks" as though that inherently implies something transgressive, but in my experience, the overwhelming majority of extremely specific kinks are so innocuous that you could see them in public and not even clock them. For every person who can only get off to having their nipples electrocuted, there are a dozen who are volcanically aroused by seeing their partner wearing one specific pair of socks.

[theothersarshi]

The old school lack of transparency on tumblr is amazing because you assume the people you follow must all be equivalent to you and then you see someone write “I brought my youngest to college today” and someone else write “my mom wouldn’t let me listen to Ariana Grande when I was a kid” and then your head explodes

[theothersarshi]

op is posting from tamriel. or perhaps the lands between

[theothersarshi]

Are you in my bookshop, because same.

Was walking around Barnes and Noble today and noticed they had Heartstopper stocked in the YA section which is ok cool but then I went to the other side of the store and saw they had scum villain in MANGA???? I know we've bitched about "manga" becoming a catch all term for any east asian book in categorizing but like. ONE OF THESE IS ACTUALLY A COMIC AND ITS DEFINITELY NOT SCUM VILLAIN

[theothersarshi]

i mean breaking bad showed that walter white was poison to not just everyone he held dear but his entire community. that was a pretty significant thing that happened. like i understand where you're coming from here but they very much did show that walter white was shit.

"oh itd be illegal in real life though!!" yeah. a lot of shows have moments like that too. and theyre not always shown to be explicitly negative, are seen as funny, or are even seen as attractive. but people are yknow. expected to know that certain things aren't okay irl. because they expect them to be adults with critical thinking skills.

#I know i know #it's still a show portraying bad things #and many people admire Walter White for some reason #but to me it's the funniest show #the most toxic version of pulling oneself by one's bootstraps #literally everything he touches is poisoned #family friends community - all suffering because of him #it's a cautionary tale #Walter White is the long-form art version of the stick figure on electric outlets showing you that you'll get zapped if you fuck around

[theothersarshi]

I don't know what tenth circle of hell my YouTube algorithm fell into, but I really wish it would stop showing me videos of 5 a.m. morning writing routines.

[theothersarshi]

My least favorite school of literary criticism is "Let's draw connections between the author and their characters/plots!"

It's a bit annoying to get asked things like, "How does this refer to your life?" or be told "This character seems very similar to you". Friend, if you think this character who enjoys sleeping with men, had an abusive ex and likes knowing religious things to argue against people's prejudice with them is like me, that's interesting, but I'm literally writing a retelling - if you think the Wife of Bath is like me, go tell Chaucer he's prescient.

[theothersarshi]

[theothersarshi]

Remember this joke?

Well, I am going to do something similar only with photography. This is a photo someone took for an Amazon review of their Clinique products.

Honestly, it is not a terrible photo. They did some staging. They have an interesting background. All of the labels are legible. It is properly exposed. This would be a perfectly acceptable product photo for an Etsy page.

I've been taking these advanced photography courses in preparation for whenever I am able to create a new studio in the house. And my teacher is a photography badass. I just watched a 6 hour class on how to recreate a professional Clinique ad. And at first glance it looks deceptively simple. It's just some skin care products being splashed with a little water.

Which is why I wanted you to see an average person for reference.

This is what Karl Taylor came up with.

And I don't think I've learned so much about photography in one tutorial before.

Product photography is just loads and loads of problem solving. You have to light the chrome caps with a gradient. Which requires giant diffusion scrims.

Those big white panels are literally only there for the two chrome caps.

You need a pure white background, but you can't let light spill all over the studio, so you put up giant black light blockers.

And you have to add another light just for the orange bottle on the right.

Oh, and if you want the bottles to glow, well, you have to hide a silver reflector behind them.

But you still want the edges of the bottles to be darker so they have some contrast. So you add some black tape to the sides.

And in order for the reflective labels to have bold black lettering, you have to reflect black cards into them.

Ack! Karl's beautiful bald head is showing up in the chrome caps! He must put on the naughty blanket.

And once you get every aspect of every bottle perfectly lit, you finally get to yeet some water at it all.

I don't love product photography because I have a weird obsession to help greedy corporations make their wares look more beautiful. I love it because it is a complicated and challenging new puzzle every time. Every product is a different shape and requires a different technique to make it look its best.

I don't know if I will be able to live up to Karl's standards.

This is about the level I was at in 2017 before I quit photography.

I have so much more knowledge in my brain now. I'm really hoping I can surpass that.

[theothersarshi]

[theothersarshi]

when the whole house got the autism