thelma-and-louise

[thelma-and-louise]

omg i told a million times just bc the amulet glows a bright pulsating red every time i'm about to commit acts of great evil doesn't mean the amulet is *driving* me to evil. it just gets excited is all

[thelma-and-louise]

guy who is definitely not about to fall into a surprise midday nap with an aftermath worse than a hangover: it seems like a really good idea to lay in bed and get cozy under the blanket as part of my plan not to fall asleep. I do not know why.

[thelma-and-louise]

Teeth are bullshit. What do you mean you’re decaying. Get a fucking grip. You’re a bone now act like it. You don’t see my finger bones decaying from jerking it too much now do you

[thelma-and-louise]

Oh man living in a beautiful house with a beautiful wife and owning a large automobile fucking slaps

#David Byrne my beloved

[thelma-and-louise]

#soundtrack to the most unsettling game on friv #it’s good tho I like it

[thelma-and-louise]

brutalist candy cane

#I want to feed it to the brutalist sculptures and let them know sweetness

[thelma-and-louise]

Rice Krispies smartest decision is by far their Treat. Turning their cereal into a strange brick relies on the natural fact that all children are hopelessly dependent upon the ingot.

[thelma-and-louise]

hunk of parmesan: i'm getting so small! 😁 keep going! i wonder if i can get even smaller 😯

microplane, getting more and more delirious with lust as my knuckles get closer to it: he's ruight

[thelma-and-louise]

#now this person has the right idea

[thelma-and-louise]

#get him!!!

[thelma-and-louise]

christian rock bands are a backbone genre in the amv scene

[thelma-and-louise]

Bugs don’t get trapped in resin like they used to. Now everything is woke.

[thelma-and-louise]

me: Storytime—I Bought That Mysterious Amulet You Said Was Cursed ‼️‼️

my apprentice: why are you talking like that

me:

my apprentice: is it the curse

me: My Apology Video (I F*cked Up!) 😱 Should Have Listened To My Apprentice 😭

[thelma-and-louise]

Remember when selfie sticks first became a thing and people were like this is literally the end of civilization as we know it

[thelma-and-louise]

#happy ides of march <3 #Brutus is gonna b my top actor on letterboxd this year

[thelma-and-louise]

when gerard way sings "the broken, the beaten, and the damned" and when kermit the frog sings "the lovers, the dreamers, and me" they're talking about the same people btw

[thelma-and-louise]

guys aren't comically getting their red heart covered boxers exposed after they get their pants pulled down anymore. Due to wokeness