theirrationalfan

[theirrationalfan]

(me, my parents, my sister, and the baby are sitting at the kitchen table eating lunch)

baby, pointing at the light fixture over the table and signing "on": o.*

my sister: we actually can't turn that light on right now, because the lightbulb inside is burnt out! it needs a new one.

baby: ighbu.

sister: yes, lightbulb! granddaddy said after we eat he's going to climb up there on a ladder and change it, and then the light will come on!

baby: gadada! adda, uuu! ighbu o!

sister: exactly!

baby, signing "on" and pointing at the light and then my dad, with increasing urgency: GADADA ADDA UUUU. O.

my sister: we're going to finish eating first though, ok?

baby: nonono. O. gadada adda uuu.

[a split second goes by]

baby, pointing to himself: ba. adda uuu. ighbu.

me: you're going to climb the ladder and change the lightbulb yourself?

baby: dzyeah. *pointing to the buckle where he is buckled into the high chair* ububu.

me: unbuckle you? so you can change the lightbulb?

baby, highly businesslike: dzyeah.

*pronounced like "on" without the n

[theirrationalfan]

that scene where a sexy lady at a fancy party pulls out a cigarette and a bunch of men swarm to light it but it’s me at the lesbian biker bar and i need something with a sharp edge so i can shotgun my rolling rock and a half dozen beautiful dukes surround me to offer their six inch stone handle folding knives

[theirrationalfan]

As the foremost Taylor Swift expert, what sex and/or relationship advice would you give to the world's #1 queer ally?

she should be giving out plan b at her concert like Olivia Rodrigo if she loves feminism so much

[theirrationalfan]

inflation is crazy. back in my day you could buy a goat for two coins. until the cat eats it, that is

[theirrationalfan]

[theirrationalfan]

when I see something dated 2019 I think “oh that’s not too long ago” and then I remember that 2019 was not only five years ago but those five years have somehow contained several lifetimes

[theirrationalfan]

[theirrationalfan]

end the stereotype that you have to have been married to be divorced

[theirrationalfan]

I like how Romans talked about domestic spirits. They're kinda dead ancestors, kinda previous occupants, kinda local nature spirits, kinda the house itself. There's lots of different types but they all kinda blend and overlap into an amorphous class of spiritual fauna.

[theirrationalfan]

I think English is more efficient than French in a lot of ways but if you guys would just let us donate a few diacritics, I swear it would change your life. Imagine having an accent to indicate which syllable in a word is stressed. You look at it and you immediately know. It’s more efficient than guessing or remembering, you have to admit. Spanish does it because Spanish loves you, while English revels in confusion and fear. What about an accent that tells you if the ‘read’ you’re looking at is the one that’s pronounced read instead of read, or one that lets you know if the letter i in a particular word is pronounced ai or ee. I’m still not over that time I had to talk about Pride & Prejudice in English class and couldn’t remember which one was pronounced which way. Just add a little circumflex. Prîde and Prejudice. The word even looks more prîdeful now that it’s got a hat!

French is such a nanny state of a language in comparison, “a is a verb and à is a preposition and cote is pronounced with the mouth slightly more open compared to côte, we MUST dispatch our best accents to provide assistance and prevent panic.” We’ve got 15 accented letters and special characters (é, è, ê, ë, à, â, ô, ù, û, î, ï, ç, æ and œ) and many of them are just here wringing their hands hoping that thanks to them you won’t be confused re: pronunciation or meaning, or even slight nuances in verbal mood. French is gently guiding you by the hand around potential pitfalls of meaning like “it’s vital for the past tense of ‘have’ to be spelt eut in the indicative mood and eût in the subjunctive else you might be confused as to whether the verb carries a connotation of conjecture or doubt <3”, English is driving you home in reverse down the highway with broken headlights at night like “had had, who cares! I guess homonyms and syllable stress might trip people up once in a while? thoughts & prayers”

Then again not all of our accents are terrifically useful, some of them are more like people doggedly holding on to a job that modern life has rendered obsolete, like the circumflexes that are just here to tell you that an s used to live here (forest -> forêt, haste -> hâte). We keep them around because they make the word more interesting (bonus etymology!) and nicer to look at but I wouldn’t mind giving them away for a good cause. French is lying down next to a pond fascinated by its own reflection while English is racing by with such efficiency it sometimes trips on its own feet and faceplants but together we could be normal. Ish.

[theirrationalfan]

MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL 1975 | dirs. Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones

[theirrationalfan]

BEN AFFLECK Jan 04 2024

#to return to

[theirrationalfan]

My only real and valid writing tip is that you google every word you make up for your fantasy stories. That's It

[theirrationalfan]

[theirrationalfan]

[theirrationalfan]

you came back wrong and i am racked with guilt because i cannot bear to see you like this and i should have let you rest. i loved you so much that i defied death itself but i do not think either of us are happy

[theirrationalfan]

this reddit thread of living your silliest life is so so good