thehygieneguru

[thehygieneguru]

Reflection

I’ve been reflecting on my emotions recently, trying to figure out what’s actually bothering me.

And I’ve discovered that Last year I couldn't relate to when a lot of people’s mental health was affected by the pandemic, mainly because I was really busy trying to achieve a goal I’ve set for myself a long time ago which was to get a postgraduate degree from one of the best Art schools in the world with distinction. I was so focused and busy working on my goal that I completely lost track of what’s actually going on around me. I did not mind being quarantined because I actually enjoyed it by reading and researching topics that would eventually feed my thesis. I also did not mind not working because that means I will have more time to research and work on my project. Eventually, I did not endure the pandemic because of how busy and focused I was.

Here I am, one year later fully aware of what’s happening around me and taking in what a “pandemic” is. It really sucks!! 

The feeling of not having a purpose or a goal to achieve is making me go crazy. Clearly I am a goal oriented human being.

I’ve been spending some time recently baking which is my side passion, I find it extremely therapeutic and gets my mind off things. 

Guess that’s it for now- 

[thehygieneguru]

Hi again - 6 months update.

Hi, pretty sure no ones going look into this, so here I am blogging again for my own sanity. Oh I cant stress enough of how much this feels nostalgic!!

It’s been 6 months since I was done with this course, and it’s been one of the best moments I’ve ever had in my life. I have enjoyed every bit of this course and was really looking forward for what to come next. I was very motivated and positive that great things are lying ahead. Great things like, a promotion at my full time job or job offer from somewhere else or even to further develop the project I’ve worked on for my thesis.

Here I am 6 months later, in the same spot I was 6 months ago with nothing changing. No job promotion, no job offers and no developments regarding my final project.

I remember when I first landed home in December, I spent the next day having coffee and planning how my year will look like. Well, nothing of what I jogged down actually happened.

I feel like I am stuck in a deep dark hole with no lights and no ladder to help me up. COVID made the situation even worse..

I also sometimes feel lost and have no goal or purpose. 

I remember when I was lost at the beginning of the course and had tutors show me not only one way, but several ways and giving me the freedom to choose what I want. Oh how much I miss this!! 

I know this is not how I or anyone pictured this will go, however the sad truth is yes I am stuck and no I dont have any clue on what to do next or how to elevate from the stage I am in.

I think I’ll be back to blogging to help me reflect and maybe find a way out of this so called misery....

That’s it for now I guess-

[thehygieneguru]

Printed out my work on canvas for it to be displayed in a coffee shop here in my country Bahrain.

Tested how they looked before delivering them to the coffee shop-

[thehygieneguru]

Unit 3 - moving on to unit 4

Personally, Unit 3 to me was about coming out with ways I can further develop months worth of work, and not to stop at the stage where I currently am standing..

The creation of the new section which was all about first hand experiences, and it also was me reflecting on a feedback I got from one of my expert stakeholders back in unit 2.. And I couldn't let go of the point that in order to prove something or a point one must present all perspectives related to it to do it justice.

I started this unit with the creation of this new section, and was not successful in my first attempt of getting the feedback I wanted, and had to find it in my self the hard way to get out of my comfort zone and do the work myself.

And this is where I contacted people who shared their experiences/journey online and asked them to be a part of my project, and once I got out of my comfort zone that things started to work out for me again.

“Transparency” now consists of 3 halls. 2 of which includes perspective of the society and individual perspective (includes first hand experiences with sensitive social issues which I gathered myself from people) , and the 3rd hall presents the process of thoughts, feelings and technicality of some of the art pieces that were created by me.

with unit 3 coming to an end, I am now in the process of moving on to unit 4 where I want to establish this project to the real world and get to do something with it.

I have started to contact people asking them for involvement in the project, but that got me no where and only after a tutorial with one of the tutors that I discovered where I was wrong. I never was clear in the structure and in what I was asking for nor was I clear in telling them what will they get out of this involvement.

I have spent some time in structuring an e-mail asking my stakeholder Shamsaha to do a talk either in a physical or an online setting

I also tried to get in contact with UAL’s grad community

I am actually considering creating a Post-Grad Interest Group that is related to my topic and see where my project picks off from there.

[thehygieneguru]

grabbed an oporttunity

Today I have used an e-mail to remind the operational manager about sending me contact details to propose an event with them!

[thehygieneguru]

stuck again

after spending almost 5 days with no responses from individuals that I have contacted to get the project going. I decided to discuss this issue with a tutor to know where the problem is and how to solve it.

I knew there was something wrong in the language I use, but I did not know how to make it right.

So the tutorial session was really useful and made it clear to me that I have to structure my e-mails and be super clear in what I am asking.

Also, not to use the word collaboration and what to use instead to get people interested..

I know have to re-write and re-structure my e-mails and send them again..

[thehygieneguru]

Post graduate community

I’ve sent out an email to the post grad community to explore opportunities regarding further developing my project and maybe getting other stakeholders involved.

[thehygieneguru]

Update

I was supposed to have a chat with Nahla last Monday but she asked to reschedule because she was busy. So I thought about getting in contact with my current stakeholder to update them about the new section introduced into the exhibition, and to remind them about my project incase they forgot about it.

So I contacted the operation manager at Shamsaha,

[thehygieneguru]

Good day

Just received an e-mail back from Nahla who I contacted earlier,

And will try to schedule a chat sometime next week!!

[thehygieneguru]

Another potential stakeholder

As I am thinking into further developing this project to pursue a career out of it, I am now contacting individuals and party’s not only for the sake of gaining their feedback about the exhibition but to also seek making something out of it..

So today I contacted AWAN - Arab Women Artists now

AWAN holds a festival every year that’s produced by Arts Canteen. It is an arts festival designed to entertain, engage, and connect with audiences. They provide a platform for emerging and established artists across disciplines to share their work with a London audience. 

Which is exactly what I am aiming to achieve.. 

Today’s I’ve contacted them by introducing myself and explaining briefly what my project is about and hoping to get a response.. *fingers-crossed*

[thehygieneguru]

Feedback from Fatema

Just got feedback from one of the participants in my project about the art piece thats about her

she really loved it, she says its clear and conveys the overall message clearly from all aspects.

I then asked if she would like to have her identity shown or for it to be anonymous and she answered saying that she doesnt want her surname to be included because she’s afraid her mother will get affected negatively when she see’s the art piece.

So, i’ll only include her first name and a brief about her in the exhibition.

[thehygieneguru]

New art pieces

Aside from the current new section I’ve been working on, I’ve been also inspired to create more art pieces that visually represent how women within themselves face some issues, and how they over come them.

This piece is called Break through, which is a digital collage piece.

The written document in this picture is an extraction from women’s rights.

This is one of the pieces that are really close to my heart. It visually represents how even though women’s rights are known to everyone yet some men refuse their existence and treat these rights just as a written document that does not need to be applied. This piece represents how women have the power to tear through men’s view on women’s right as a document or just a paper and seek their freedom. 

Destruction 

This is a digital collage piece, that represents how women can lead to their own self destruction.

The left part is Medusa, she one of the three monstrous Gorgons, generally described as winged human females with living venomous snakes in place of hair. Those who gazed into her eyes would turn to stone. 

And the right part is an Arab women. 

The connection between both is, how some women are like Medusa when it comes to destroying others..

[thehygieneguru]

new art piece

I’ve been re-reading Fatema’s experience for the past couple of days and thinking of ways I can creatively visualise her experience.

So I came up with an idea that will visually represent this part of her struggle

She said : “ My mom was trying to protect me by being in denial about the fact that I suffer from anxiety. She used to tell her that you’re normal, and what you’re going through (symptoms) are normal and everyone goes through the same struggles.”

So I created 2 versions of a digital collage piece 

The difference between them is the labelling on the mother and daughter. The one with labels to me personally communicates the idea more clearly ..

The idea behind this art piece is how the mother is helping her daughter to sweep down all of the mental illness symptoms under the carpet to somehow hide it which is the same as what’s happening in a conservative society because of the fear of stigma..

Also, I’ve put the labels that they’re trying to sweep in an order which finally leads to depression. So it basically starts with the symptoms which are panic, restlessness, tension, nervousness etc and they all lead to anxiety, which is why this label is larger and more clearer than the rest; and the position of this label is almost hidden under the carpet. 

I’ve sent out these 2 versions to Fatema, and I’m waiting for her feedback before posting it in the exhibition..

[thehygieneguru]

Tutor feedback about report draft

The feedback received from my tutor was positive. She went through each section in the report told me what she loved and what to add to make it even better and clearer. 

She mentioned that I’ll now need to update the feedback section since I managed to get more feedback in the last couple of days, as well as the conclusion as to hint more towards the answer after the progress I’ve made in Unit 3.

I’m actually happy that Jasminka is my last tutor because she was my tutor back in the box of uncertainty project and she got to witness how the project developed over the time.

I’m certainly going to ask her in our last session about her opinion regarding the development of the project, I’m eager, curious and excited to know what she thinks.

[thehygieneguru]

potential stakeholder

I have contacted Nahla Al Ageli who is covering Arab-London arts and culture scene through an email where I explained briefly about my project and asked if she would have a chat with me to discuss my project..

[thehygieneguru]

I feel accomplished

Today has been about adjusting the changes in the exhibition

I have made some space for this content, which I thought is very important 

Also, I provided contact information for help incase anyone felt like they’d like it..

I have also received feedback/experience/response from Mohd who is a visual artist and is diagnosed with bipolar disorder. He sent me a series of videos where he talks about his mental illness and how it affects him..

I contacted him today to get a brief about himself which i’ll include on this wall as well.

 This is also a visual feedback/response I got from Enas who is diagnosed with border line personality disorder and who sent me these photos which was a part of her series of mental health project..

I finally feel accomplished.. and productive. I am also working on an art piece that will visually represent Fatima’s response. I have an initial idea, and started with the bases of it..

[thehygieneguru]

I have updated the floor plan of the exhibition to enhance the flow experience within the exhibition

So I have changed the order of the halls as well, it makes more sense to have the society’s perspective followed by the first hand experiences of the people who struggled and then finally people get to see behind the scenes behind and the process behind each piece..