thehauntedmansion2003

[thehauntedmansion2003]

mulder and scully can’t drive. the amount of times i’ve seen them straight up drive over gutters and curbs, reverse on a literal highway, run stop signs, drive off the road, park with the back of the car sticking out or just totally diagonal. like, i know they’re busy fbi agents with places to be but c’mon. anyway it’s so funny to me

[thehauntedmansion2003]

so trans people should just be allowed to murder whoever they want?

your brain could revolve inside a peanut shell for a thousand years without touching the sides

[thehauntedmansion2003]

I’m going to the grocery store does anyone want to sublet my apartment for 45 minutes

[thehauntedmansion2003]

[thehauntedmansion2003]

white pikmin are my favorite kind of pikmin and it’s all cuz of that one gif

[thehauntedmansion2003]

$167 trip clit to penis

[thehauntedmansion2003]

[thehauntedmansion2003]

[thehauntedmansion2003]

Oojka wamma po Jen'kiwi. Biig Woopa slemmy dengo peet

[thehauntedmansion2003]

The phrase “Tip: I am so fucking mad” will not leave my brain

[thehauntedmansion2003]

you. american adult with a drivers license. can you tell me who has the right of way at a 4 way stop

#that post thats like ''everyone... but watch out....''

[thehauntedmansion2003]

[thehauntedmansion2003]

why should i care about taylor swift when the killer remains at large

[thehauntedmansion2003]

me on ellen 

ellen: so i hear you’re a big fan of the fallout series

me: yeah 

*loud, thundering booms are heard from outside of the studio and a siren begins to wail as the audience breaks out into complete pandemonium* 

me: oh my god ellen you didn’t

[thehauntedmansion2003]

 “hi welcome to mcdonalds what can i get for you?”

“yeah can i get a deluxe quarter pounder with cheese?”

“absolutely, do you want the meal or just the sandwich?’

“uuuuuh hold on”

*fishes something out of my pocket*

“mikey what do i do?”

“get the fries. youll need the energy in the coming days”

*stuffs it back in my pocket*

“uhh yes please  the meal would be great”

[thehauntedmansion2003]

[thehauntedmansion2003]

this frame from the fallout tv show is so funny i nearly puked watching it