thecalescent

[thecalescent]

historical accuracy in fics is so funny to me. googling if they had grapefruit spoons in 1845 but also letting two men get married. fuck homophobia, tell me about cutlery.

[thecalescent]

[thecalescent]

You allowed your child to join the vampire hunters against your better instincts. A decade later, they return home for dinner with a vampire spouse.

[thecalescent]

This post is your reminder that you are not obligated to blog about current events.

Things are bad. Really bad. Do not let people guilt trip you into tormenting yourself even further over the fact that things are bad. Doomscrolling is not activism.

If you're just on tumblr to blorbopost or reblog pretty pictures, you are not harming people by inaction.

You are not a bad person for not dedicating every aspect of your life and leisure space to whatever disgusting mask-off attack on human life and dignity some government has decided to enact.

Take action where you can, but don't confuse doomscrolling and digital self harm for action.

If you need to lose yourself in blorboposting, go for it.

If you need to log off for the day, whether it's to take irl action or to protect what little sanity any of us have left over the past 7 years, then by all means, do.

Morale is important. Hope is important. Small joys keep us from burning out completely in times like this. Do not let any "if you don't reblog this I'm judging you" guilt trip convince you otherwise.

[thecalescent]

I think the funniest dynamic for arranged-marriage royalty would be a queen who came here 100% prepared to murder her future husband and rule as a widow queen in her own right, only to discover that the king is autistic as hell and responds to her wish to rule with "oh thank god please do, I don't want to be bothered by these people. I can just tell them to go bother you instead, if you really want that. I've got beetles I wanted to study."

[thecalescent]

[thecalescent]

I think the funniest possible thing to do in a low stakes situation when someone subtly insults you is to ask them to elaborate.

In Seattle I was explaining environmental DNA and a woman said it “tickled” her to hear someone with my accent (rural Appalachia) “talk about science.”

So I said, “oh! 🙂 What an interesting perspective. Can you tell me more about what you mean?”

As you can imagine it went badly for her very quickly.

[thecalescent]

[thecalescent]

i’m team “not all transformative works are fanfiction, fanfiction is a specific modern phenomenon founded on a specific relationship between reader and text that doesn’t require historical proofs to be a legitimate form” up until people start being snotty and obnoxious about it and then i am there going “hamlet is gesta danorum fanfiction”

[thecalescent]

Happy New Year 2024 from Korea.

Year of the 🐲🐉!

[thecalescent]

"Baby Dick going to Bruce after a nightmare" this and "Red Hood breaking into Bruce's window when he's lonely" that WHERE is my fic about full grown 43 year old Bruce walking around in daze at 3am and finding himself in front of Alfred's room that's still in the servant quarters because Alfred never had the heart to move from the one Thomas decorated for him before he died and Bruce not remembering how he got there but waking up tucked into stiff starched sheets and a pistol under the pillow and hearing an assortment of children yelling in the kitchen about starting a search party and Alfred saying they can try but they'll never ever guess where he is

[thecalescent]

y’all want some cool, muslim-made, modest fashion ideas for your hijabi characters?

absolutely nobody asked but here, have them anyway (all via the Islamic Fashion Institute):

[thecalescent]

[thecalescent]

In case no one told you growing up

Bras last longer if you let them air dry. Don’t put them in the dryer.

If you have a problem with frizzy hair, don’t dry your hair with a towel. It makes the frizzies worse. (I recently read an article that said to use a t-shirt? I brush mine out and let it air dry.)

Whites wash best in hot water. Everything else can be in cold - save on your electricity bill.

You can kill 99.9% of germs in a sponge by putting it in the dishwasher for a cycle or by microwaving it for 2 min (be sure to make the sponge damp before microwaving and to put a cup half full of water in with it and please DO NOT squeeze the sponge until it has cooled off)

Airing out your room/house and letting sunlight in every so often can decrease the number of household pests like silverfish and ants.

Black underwear is best during your period as stains are less likely to be visible.

To save money, put aside 10% of each paycheck into a savings account. It’ll add up.

Unless your hair has something on/in it (like grease or mud or something), using conditioner first can actually be the better choice. The conditioner holds in the good oils that help you hair look sleek and beautiful, which shampoo would otherwise wash away.

Speaking of shampoo - if you have long hair, washing just the bits that touch your scalp is generally enough. The rest of your hair gets cleaned with just the run off from your scalp.

If you put a tampon in and it’s uncomfortable/you can feel it, you didn’t do it quite right. A properly placed tampon is virtually unnoticeable by the wearer.

Apply deodorant/antiperspirant a couple hours in advance of when you need it. This gives the product the chance to block your sweat glands. Using deodorant just before going somewhere where you’ll sweat (this means walking outside for people in high humidity places) results in your sweat washing the deodorant off and starkly limiting its usefulness.

After running the dryer, use the dryer sheet from that load to brush out the lint catch - it gets everything off in a fraction of the time it’ll take you to get it clean with your bare hands. Paper towels also work well.

Wash your face everyday, or as often as possible. Forget which brand of cleanser is best. Just washing your face everyday will guarantee you clearer skin. And do you best not to pop pimples, as tempting as the urge may be.

Fold laundry asap after taking it from the dryer to avoid wrinkles. This may seem obvious for dress shirts and silly for things like t-shirts, but you’ll notice the difference even then once your shirts stop looking like unfolded paper balls.

[thecalescent]

Baby Dick Grayson as Robin meets the League and they're all gobsmacked at how Batman, who has an emotional range that goes from cynical wet blanket to unstoppable force of nature, has such a seemingly normal and happy kid.

"He must get it from his mom." Green Lantern said, trying to build some kind of rapport. "She approve of you running around beating up bad guys, little man?"

"My mom is dead," Dick replied and Green Lantern paled.

"Oh that's uh--"

"It happened right in front of us." Dick continued conversationally, gesturing to himself and Bruce.

The rest of the League start frantically signalling to Hal without using words, abort! Abort!

[thecalescent]

Blind people must save a lot on electricity.

[thecalescent]

IS BEING HYDRATED REALLY WORTH ALL THIS PEEING?