theapprenticemorgan

[theapprenticemorgan]

AWE HEHEHEHE it's true, i did flex and I did it jokingly too but it still worked

To the customer at work who flexed at me like a kronk wannabee and flirted with me at the counter I hope you know my boyfriend did the same pose at me the next day and not only did he look a million times better but I actually did put out for him. Moral of the story don't flirt with retail workers or they'll kill you

#i love him <3

[theapprenticemorgan]

BRILLIANT POST BITCHBOY <3

T4T switch couple where i say im a dom just before i tell my boyfriend to do a completely nonsexual thing just because i want him to

[theapprenticemorgan]

HAHAHAHA THAT IS THE BEST USE OF CRAB ALEKSEY OF ALL TIME

HEHEHEHE PROFILE PICTURE CHANGE!! I'll change my background too when I get home. Art by @theapprenticemorgan, of our oc Sadie who fucks

[theapprenticemorgan]

YOUR OC MY DEARIE, BUT YAY IM SO GLAD

HEHEHEHE PROFILE PICTURE CHANGE!! I'll change my background too when I get home. Art by @theapprenticemorgan, of our oc Sadie who fucks

[theapprenticemorgan]

HAHAH AWE <3 (ALSO IT WAS MY IMMORTAL HEHEHE)

Talking shit in my boyfriends car when Evanescence - Bring Me to Life comes on and I have to pretend I'm not being catty during a tragic song about loss and grief

[theapprenticemorgan]

HAHAHA I DID <3

FOUR MONTHS AGO I HAD NEVER STOOD IN A ROOM WITH MY BOYFRIEND AND NOW EIGHT THOUSAND MILES AND A FEW MONTHS LATER I AM BUYING MEAT THAT HE CUT AT HIS BUTCHERY AND USING IT TO MAKE STIR FRY AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA YESSSS

[theapprenticemorgan]

I DO

i think instead of the architects we have rn we need bisexual sims girls designing public spaces

[theapprenticemorgan]

@cries-on-demand

war never changes

[theapprenticemorgan]

It's true though, and we need more public rooms that are swimming pools with no doors

i think instead of the architects we have rn we need bisexual sims girls designing public spaces

[theapprenticemorgan]

Don't sweat it, a kiwi that actually knew what's up would want to immigrate too 😂😂

Hi anon! If you are Māori I will literally pay you 40 nzd.

Otherwise, if you're interested in making a difference and you're actually here, in the country you're harassing me on behalf of, there are events you could go to and MANY books to read. Bothering some rando immigrant on Tumblr isn't activism, it's just goofy lol

[theapprenticemorgan]

SO SMART MAN <3

Lily as a prefix in warriors being similar to prefixes like yew because lilies are a deadly poison to cats and therefore have a more grim connotation to them

[theapprenticemorgan]

ITS MY PLEASURE MY SWEET, PLS COME AGAIN 🥺🥺🥺🥺

FOUR MONTHS AGO I HAD NEVER STOOD IN A ROOM WITH MY BOYFRIEND AND NOW EIGHT THOUSAND MILES AND A FEW MONTHS LATER I AM BUYING MEAT THAT HE CUT AT HIS BUTCHERY AND USING IT TO MAKE STIR FRY AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA YESSSS

[theapprenticemorgan]

It's adorable and I'm still so shocked that the zipper is a little shearer razor I had no idea and he's so cute and he has blueish black blush around his little nose

[theapprenticemorgan]

I'm glad my eyelashes curl so beautifully when I cry, maybe I can be something of worth to look at that way

[theapprenticemorgan]

The healing power of death metal screaming in the car on your break between work

The healing power of snapping "YOU COULD KNOCK NEXT TIME." at your stupid Israeli flatmate the second time he suddenly walks in on you in the bathroom. 💕

[theapprenticemorgan]

I would have taken the opportunity to help you up from the ground and have like sparkles around my face, saying "Are you alright?" Like an anime and you're like how'd you get out here why are you here I thought you were at work, and I'll introduce myself charmingly like i didn't hear you

HELP I tried to ride a bike my boyfriend's parents had given me but the saddle was up way too high so passers by on the very busy road next to my house probably saw some oompa loompa lookin ass trying to sit on a bike, legs don't reach the ground, falling over like seven times, ONCE INTO A HEDGE, got morning DEW all over my FACE.

Good way to start the morning though 😂

[theapprenticemorgan]

New favorite tweet

#hAHHAHA DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT MY SECOND LOVE YAKOVLEV 3