the-wanlorn

[the-wanlorn]

The old school lack of transparency on tumblr is amazing because you assume the people you follow must all be equivalent to you and then you see someone write “I brought my youngest to college today” and someone else write “my mom wouldn’t let me listen to Ariana Grande when I was a kid” and then your head explodes

[the-wanlorn]

friend that doesnt drive: anyways really look the thing about origami is that its not about getting the fold right on the first try its meant to be an exercise in precision sure but also in patience the instructions are repeatable tasks that you do over and over again to polish the skill before applying it to something else. a thousand swans arent folded in a day and really its meant to bring you to reflect upon what it means to even be folding in the first pl-

friend that drives: HOLY SHIT 3.20 A GALLON? I SHOULDVE FILLED UP THERE anyway i understand the process is meant to soothe the itch of perfection that gnaws at the soul through exposure to imperfection but OH FUCK [drives over median straight into Walmart parking lot while nearby F150 lays on the horn because you stopped him from running a red light]

[the-wanlorn]

I recall at least one of you guys having worked with livestock animals. Why are cows so damn indestructible while horses keel over and die if mercury is in retrograde or a dog barked in Kazakhstan?

gettingvetted here.

Let me tell you a story about how livestock animals work.

In the beginning, God created the horse. God looked at the horse and saw that it was beautiful and strong. “However,” God said, “it breaks too easily.”

Then God created the cow. God looked at the cow and saw that it was more durable than the horse, and tasted good to boot. “However,” God said, “it poops too much.”

Then God created the goat. God looked at the goat and saw that it was perfect.

God looked around and saw that he still had some spare bits of fluff on his work table, but no brains to put into it. So then God created the sheep.

Now let me tell you what my equine surgery professor said on the first day of class.

“Horses are only interested in two things: homicide, and suicide.”

And that’s all you need to know about horses.

[the-wanlorn]

rocky horror is the worst and is also transmisogynistic can we please finally get over this shit movie

[the-wanlorn]

having a king bed sounds scary what if you try to put the fitted sheet on and get lost in there and die like a caver

[the-wanlorn]

[the-wanlorn]

mid-conversation I toss a pistol onto the table not to suggest or imply anything but just to change the situation a little

[the-wanlorn]

please please please remember that no matter what your manager says, it is never that serious. unless you are literally performing surgery or defusing a bomb, it simply is not that serious

[the-wanlorn]

people think theyre crazy, meanwhile theyre actually normal and not loved enough

[the-wanlorn]

[the-wanlorn]

Under the American regime it's a crime to stand outside a store and not buy anything, if you don't cut your grass the neighbours will report you to the neighborhood surveillance police. Child workers try to raise money by cutting the grass for you

[the-wanlorn]

The most terrifying part of having memory issues is when you can feel something from 5 seconds ago be thrown out the window and there's an empty hole where it once was. You remember that you forgot something.

[the-wanlorn]

[the-wanlorn]

i love that discord doesn't tell you if someone's read your messages. like genuinely. normalize others not needing every second of your time right away. normalize taking time to formulate a proper answer. normalize this.

[the-wanlorn]

[the-wanlorn]

I would put that on my cv

[the-wanlorn]

Book I found in the used bookstore where I work. The whole thing looks like this and I have no idea what it’s supposed to be as there’s no clear title either.

This is a problem as it’s in the “to be shelved” pile and I’m the one who’s supposed to figure out where to shelve it.

Okay, it looks like it’s the script for some kind of performance or ceremony? But heavily abbreviated. Like it’s assumed the participants already know the words and just need this as a reminder, like “the next word starts with b… oh right”.