the-realm-of-the-elderlings

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nothing worse than watching people slowly approach fool's fate on their rote read throughs. they don't know meme.jpg they dont know that they're about to read something that is soooo so tragic and fucked up that they'll never stop thinking about it ever

#fool's fate #tawny man #rote spoilers

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I love Nighteyes so much he’s so funny and literally if anything happens to him i will be so mad like robin hobb i will find you

#fool’s errand #nighteyes

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FINALLLY THE FOOL GETS TO JOIN THE SKILL LESSONS I'm gonna cry. Chade is trying to keep Fitz and the Fool apart and it is pissing me off. Never wanted to fight a senior citizen more in my life

#tawny man trilogy

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As the Fool serenades Fitz in the hall: “A slow flush began to heat my cheeks, for the Fool’s expression was both tender and ardent as he looked up at me.” (Pg. 206, Royal Assassin)

You’re trying to tell me that this is NOT a romance???

#rote #fitz and the fool #royal assassin

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Beloved throwing back his hood when Fitz sees him on the shores of Aslevjal is soooo funny. as if it could be anyone else standing there dramatically. i just know he was sitting there waiting for Fitz to arrive like. ok how can I be as dramatic as possible when Fitz sees me and realizes he's fucked??? ok... hands on the hips? no it's giving scorned wife. well maybe a little hand on hip. no I've GOT IT. i'll THROW MY HOOD BACK. then he practices with different cloaks until he finds the perfect one. like i just know it was a whole Thing for him lmao

#fool's fate #rote

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I love how RH dedicates the last trilogy to her "best friends, Fitz and the Fool" because girl if that was me we would Not be friends

#rote

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I love reading! It’s my favourite hobby!! It’s so relaxing!! great for your mental health!!!

#sarah reads rote

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ROYAL ASSASSIN ABRIDGED: PART ONE My friend Razz wants to understand my shitposting about Robin Hobb’s Farseer Trilogy, but they don’t want to actually have to read the books, so I’m summarizing it for them (and you)! When we last left Fitzy-Fitz, it was a really fucking long time ago, sorry, I stopped going to church and learned to chainsmoke (and this book is LONG, I mean it’s LOOOOOOONG, so I kept avoiding getting started on Abridging it, lmao). You can brush up on the frankly insane amount of different characters here at the Royal Assassin Cast of Characters post, or find the links to the rest of the Farseer Trilogy Abridged series here at this link here.

- Fitz awakens one fine October morning in a bed at Jhaampe hospital, where he's been recovering from being poisoned and poisoned and bludgeoned and kicked and drowned. At first he was having eighty seizures a day, but now that it's down to only twenty-five seizures a day, he and Burrich figure it's high time for the two of them to skedaddle before they get snowed in.

  Then, exactly like that scene in Attack on Titan where Eren reaches for a spoon and accidentally turns into a Titan, Fitz drops a spoon and accidentally turns into a seizure. It's a lot less cool. He wakes up hours later back in the same damn hospital bed with Jonqui the King's Sister and now healer sitting beside him.

  "This sucks," he whines.

  "Time heals all wounds, Pull-Out Fail," Jonqui says sagely.

  "Shut the fuck up. I'm fifteen and obviously know a lot more than you about healing, and I've decided I'm never going to get better."

  Burrich strides healthily into the room with a swanky new skunk stripe in his hair where his skull was recently cracked open. "What-ho, Lil Accident, are you ready to go back to Buckkeep?"

  "No. Everybody's gonna make fun of me. You go back without me."

  "So long as you wear that collar," Burrich says solemnly, "I must follow you."

  Fitz touches the black collar with the word DADDY on it in gold letters. "The way you followed my father?"

  "Yes."

  "Was it like, a sex thing?"

  Burrich, who has enough hidden piercings to set off a metal detector at twenty paces, asks, "Are we going back to Buckkeep or what? I'm getting kind of bored sitting here watching you do the Harlem Shake."

  "Also, I heard that Molly's candle shop was foreclosed on and she had to go live with relatives in a town that's about to be raided by Vikings," The Fool says from under the bed.

  "Gosh, I wish I could talk to King Shrewd or the Fool or find out what's happening to Molly," Fitz sighs, then sits up as the room fills with the wavy lines and harp glissando of a dream sequence.

  "Wake up, King Shrewd," the Fool says. He's sitting on a chair, not under the bed or in a hay bale for once, and Fitz finds it extremely disturbing.

  "Fool? What are you doing here?"

  "Oh, King Shrewd and not Fitz, I have to be here because you're sick and old," the Fool fools. "Here, let me fluff your pillows and feed you soup."

  "This is so weird," Shrewd-Fitz says. "I feel like... oh, the Skill line is ringing. What? Vikings are viking Siltbay so late in the fall?"

  "You know, it's creepy when you talk to yourself like that," the Fool mutters.

  But Shitz (Shrewd-Fitz) is already on a Skill video call, watching the Red-Ship Raiders pulling up onto the coast. Vikings run through the town, viking everything in sight. The raiders are wading through blood up to their knees, people are running around headless and on fire, it's awful. The raiders aren't even stealing anything-- they're just wrecking stuff, which anyone who's been to a Raiders game can attest to (go Cowboys).

  "Fool," Shitz says. "You can see the future, right?"

  "This is a weird time to reveal that particular nugget of information, but sure. Let's see... ah, yes. I see a bard who can't fucking read the room trying to find a rhyme for 'dismembered child.' That is not something Jaydee made up, it's a real line from the book."

  "Thank you, Fool, that's extremely fucked up," Shitz says. "Oh wait, who's this on the video call... It's Molly! Oh SHIT, it's Molly and Vikings are going to vike her!"

  But Molly wasn't called Molly Nosebleed as a kid because she's a trembling little violet. A Viking tries to vike her and she stabs him to death, whirls around and shouts "WHO WANTS SOME, MOTHERFUCKERS?!"

  Then a house falls on her.

  "Oh god, oh fuck," Shitz says, panicking. "Fool, use your future vision and tell me if Molly's okay!"

  "A bunch of women died in a bunch of horrible ways," the Fool says. "Do you want me to list them?"

  "No," Shitz says, and so the Fool doesn't spend two pages describing the graphic sexual assault, murder, and maiming of a bunch of townsfolk. Shitz sits back in his bed. "Run off and let Verity know Siltbay is being viked."

  Ever loyal, the Fool cartwheels down the stairs. Then Shitz sighs and says, "Man, being old sucks."

  "Yes it does, so quit your fucking whining about your little seizures and come home," Shrewd says, and ends the Skill call.

  The next morning, Fitz-Fitz packs up his stuff and heads out with Burrich and Hands to make the long boring trip back to Buckkeep.

The return to Buckkeep sucks especially hard because they have to take the 99 instead of the I-5 like last time, and Fitz is getting carsick. Along the way they keep having to stay in incredibly sketch Super 8s, which wouldn't be that bad (free soap and free weird smells!) but Burrich and Hands overhear someone standing out in the hallway talking loudly on their phone about how much King Shrewd fucking sucks.

  "Yeah he keeps raising taxes to 'defend our country' or whatever but Vikings are still viking the beach towns as much as they want," had said the Buckboi in the hallway. "You know who rules, though, Prince Regal!"

  "What towns did Buckboi say were viked?" Fitz asks.

  "A town no one cares about," Hands answers solemnly, "and the one where Molly had a house fall on her."

  After that incident, Burrich decides that they're gonna make the rest of the trip using surface streets and driving through people's yards. "If Regal finds out you're out here, he'll send someone to kill you," Burrich explains. "Verity's definitely not gonna protect you."

  "Is that because he consistently sees me as a tool first and a family member and human being second?"

  "Look," Hands interrupts. "I see Buckkeep-shaped lights in the distance." They ride up to the gates, which are guarded by a kid who was born a thousand years too early to be the squeaky-voiced teen working at the drive-thru. “Halt,” he squeaks. “Who the fuck are you?“

  Burrich scoffs. ”Who the fuck are YOU?“

  ”I asked you first!“

  ”I asked you sec—“

  ”All right, all right, who's holding up the line?“ The last book had a rich and exhausting cast of random extras murmuring in the background, but this one used all of their budget on talking CGI wolves, so they had to fire most of them and give almost all of their lines to Blade, The Guard Captain. His job is to appear at important moments and say things like 'hear, hear!' and 'how big WAS she?' “Holy shit, it's Burrich! Twitter said you and Chivalry's Post Nut Regret were dead!”

  “It's called X now,” Fitz says, emerging dramatically from the shadows.

  “Oh.” Blade says, while four of the other guards die of secondhand embarrassment. “H-hi, Chivalry's Pos... I mean... Fitz. You uh. Did you have a nice trip? Hey, you... did something with your hair, it looks... it looks good!”

  “Prince Regal was going around telling everyone I was dead, wasn't he,” Fitz says flatly.

  “Sometimes I can still hear his voice,“ Regal sighs from somewhere in the castle.

  ”What? No. What?? No! What?! No!“ Blade laughs as six more guards thud to the ground. ”No, of course not! It was just, you know, like, you know. YOU know. You know. I didn't really believe you were dead, I did retweet the link Regal posted but I commented with 'big if true,' so it wasn't really...”

  Fitz smiles. “Ho ho ho, Captain, don't worry your sweet little tits about it. Everyone falls victim to misinformation from time to time, and I accept the apology I assume you were about to provide me. Do carry about your business.”

  Halfway up to the stables, Burrich pulls Fitz aside. “Listen, Lil Accident, we're not at Grandma's house anymore,” he hisses. “You can't talk to people like you matter or Regal's gonna get his panties in a knot about it.”

  “And then he'll choke me,” Fitz agrees.

  “What?”

  “With his knotted up panties.“

  ”I'm also still alive,“ Hands offers after a long silence. ”Fitz, you're too weak and pathetic to wax your own horse, let me do it.“

  ”But...“

  ”Come on, Fitz, let Hands, my new favorite child, take care of the important work.“ Burrich takes Fitz's arm. ”Now go on up to the castle, that collar is making everybody question their sexuality.“

  ”What's a sexuality?“ Fitz asks, just before he's shoved into the castle, screen door banging behind him.

  Inside, Fitz looks around and notices that the place looks cleaner than it had before he'd left on the world's worst road trip. All the beer cans and ash trays have been cleaned up, someone's taken down the band posters and put up tasteful watercolors of succulents, and the 'NICE COCK' that had been scrawled above the toilet has been replaced with 'live laugh love.'

  ”Wrow,“ muses Fitz as he passes a sign on Verity's door that reads 'IF THE WARSHIP'S A-ROCKIN', DON'T COME A-KNOCKIN'. ”I'm kinda gonna miss the crusty sock smell. Good thing my room still reeks like teenaged boy.“

#rote #robin hobb #fitzchivalry farseer #ra abridged #royal assassin

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feathers in a fool's cap

#the fool #beloved #fanart

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me: boy i sure wish fitz would just talk and communicate and share his feelings and past

[a finger on the monkey's paw curls]

#rote #Fitz

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good morning to the person who replied to one of my posts about fitzloved and said “wow i had no clue people shipped them” how does it feel to be living in a completely different universe than i do

#fitzloved

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It’s so funny how Robin Hobb pushed the straight Fitz agenda on her forums because it makes him look so terrible.

100% hetero Fitz would be a guy who gets upset if he thinks his best friend is seeing a woman because he resents him having other people in his life and not dedicating all of his attention to him, while at the same time expecting the Fool to continue to stick around and dote on him after he goes back to his ex girlfriend because it’s more convenient for him. He would have nearly destroyed their friendship by having a homophobic meltdown just because he thinks gays are super icky. He would be expecting the Fool to gladly slot himself into second place in his life despite knowing that he wants nothing more than to be his priority. He would be neglecting his marriage and failing to be fully honest with his wife in the same way as he was with his best friend whose absence he mourns intensely for decades because who even knows why the Withywoods years make no sense in this context.

Seriously, if you assume Fitz is a Kinsey 0 and there is absolutely no conflict between what he admits to wanting and what he really wants and how he really feels, he comes off as a selfish dick. If you read him as a closeted bisexual dealing with internalized shame and fear, he’s a fascinating and sympathetic character (though still sometimes a dick.)

#fitzloved

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Thinking about the fool and nightyes. Thinking about how the fool knew vaguely about nighteye's existance in royal assassin and by the end of it he got to meet nighteyes when he and kettricken escaped. And this was this wolf this huge ass actual wolf that helped him. In the mountains when the fool took fitz in and started to take care of his wound. He also watched over nightyes and completly excepted this part of fitz. On their way to verity nightyes helped keep him warm and agreed with fitz that he was pack. He called fool "brother". And when fitz and the fool skill linked for the first time and fool reveled in that connection with fitz and he finally finally got to see everything that nighteyes was to fitz and finally properly say hello to him for a bit!!! Then years YEARS later when nighteyes died the fool couldnt reveal he also grieved him because of his and fitz's ruse but he snuck some strands of hair. And he didnt know how to comfort fitz. But he did love nighteyes and through his link to fitz he was also linked to nighteyes. When fitz was reviving the fool he was guided by nighteyes. And when fitz and the fool switched their bodies back and became whole for a moment fitz mentiomed how nighteyes said that he and the fool were ome. When the fool doubted his link to fitz the most he compared their conection to fitz and nighteyes's connection. When he left fitz a gift of memory stone he also sculpeted nighteyes into it.

Fool from the very moment he could excepted nighteyes and him being a part of the whole that is fitz, and nighteyes excepted the fool as a part of the whole that is fitz aswell.

#nighteyes #rote spoilers

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it’s like nobody even cares about my best most cringefail friend fitzchivalry and his boygirlfriend canon soulmate the fool

#rote

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Fitz and the Fool sleeping

#fanart #fitzloved

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I love drawing elderlings

#rote fanart #thymara #rainwild chronicles #Fanart

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Covers for the Czech version of the series The Rain Wild Chronicles (The Realm of the Elderlings) by Robin Hobb, I discovered one of these covers through @blackandwhitemotley and had to look for the others to know, I loved them all. In order: The Dragon Keeper Dragon Haven City Of Dragons Blood Of Dragons Arts by https://www.deviantart.com/skvor/

#the rain wild chronicles #the realm of the elderlings #robin hobb #cover