i watched my brother drop a remote on his foot and the only thing he said was “i am so sick of being alive”
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oh hi, thanks for checking in, I’m ˢᵗᶦˡˡ ⁿᵒᵗ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᶦⁿᶠᶦⁿᶦᵗʸ ʷᵃʳ
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Phil Swift: Hi! Phil Swift here! To show you the power of the inifinity gauntlet, I cut the universe’s population in half!
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Repost, bolding what you prefer and tag 10 people
Coffee or tea
Early bird or night owl
Chocolate or vanilla
Spring or fall
Pop or alternative
Snakes or sharks
Mountains or fields
Thunderstorm or lightning
Egyptian or Greek mythology
Ivory or scarlet
Flute or lyre
Eyes or lips
Witch or fairy
Opal or diamond
Butterflies or honeybees
Macaroons or eclair
Typewritten or handwritten letters
Secret garden or secret library
Rooftop or balcony
Spicy or mild
Opera or ballet
London or Paris
Vincent Van Gogh or Claude Monet
Denim or leather
Potions or spells
Ocean or desert
Mermaid or siren
Masquerade ball or cocktail Party
I’d tag people if I knew people. Thank you though @spideykisses
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don’t anger the god of thunder
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EVERYTIME I watch that scene in spiderman: hoco where Peter says “If you even cared, you’d actually be here” and Tony just walks out of the suit I involuntarily say “oh shit” every fucking time
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I love the internet
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JAMES GUNN HAS FINISHED THE SCRIPT FOR GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL. 3!
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clint, looking at a map: wow, its like a barren expansive desert out there
natasha: other side, clint
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Guy: You're that Spider Guy on Youtube, right?
Peter: Call me Spider-Man!
Guy: Okay, Spider-Man! Do a flip!
Peter: [falls backwards into an open sewer and is never seen again]
Guy: Y E A H !
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My mother: Who’s Captain Marvel and why haven’t we seen him before?
Me: Captain Marvel is a woman.
Mother: Is she Wonder Woman?
ME:
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Tony: A horse walks into a bar-
Steve: why would a horse walk into a bar?
Tony: To get a drink
Steve: It’s a horse he can drink outside in a trough
Tony: Well this horse wanted something stronger
Steve: horses don’t drink alcohol
Tony: This one does
Steve: And no one else in the bar is reacting to the fact that a horse walked in?
Tony, flustered: Okay, alright yeah! A couple people react. They’re surprised but then they get over it, anyway-
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Scott: I’m going to Taco Bell, anyone want anything?
Tony: I want my son back.
Steve: I want my best friend back.
Thor and Shuri: I want my brother back.
Rocket: I want my morons back.
Scott: Yeah, I’ve got like $12.
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Sweater!Tom
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