thatdreadbitch

[thatdreadbitch]

[thatdreadbitch]

demisexuality can be so hard to explain because it’s misconstrued as you just wanting to trust the other person before you have sex with them. and I get why the misconception happens. But demisexuality differs in that there isn’t sexual attraction at all before that bond forms.

I think what people have difficulty with is the idea that there are people out there who aren’t experiencing sexual attraction at all until a certain point, if ever, because we’re taught that sex, libido, and sexual attraction are all the same, both in and out of queer spaces.

And when you’re learning about asexuality and demisexuality, you may learn that people have romantic and aesthetic attraction separately from sexual attraction, and that sexual and romantic attraction aren’t necessarily intertwined, and that may challenge your worldview on sex.

But “I trust you enough to have sex with you” isn’t the same as “I’m not sexually attracted to anyone but you, and the reason I’m sexually attracted to you now after we’ve established this close bond is literally because of the bond of trust we’ve been able to form”.

It’s easy to see how those can get conflated. On the surface, if you’re unfamiliar with asexuality, they may sound the same. But it’s important to acknowledge the difference between “no sex until I trust you” and “no sexual attraction unless I trust you and maybe not even then”.

Demisexuality is housed under the asexuality spectrum. It’s part of the gray area between being allosexual and asexual. It’s part of why the definition for asexuality includes “little to no sexual attraction”. It’s a mostly asexual experience with an asterisk.

While being demisexual may have impacts on a persons sexual activity, even demisexuals have a varied relationship to the act of participating in sex. Libido and sexual attraction are not always intertwined either, which can make telling the difference tricky.

I think of sexual attraction as libido that has a compass. Since I rarely ever experience sexual attraction, but do have libido, it’s noticeable for me when that libido actually has a direction to go, rather than being a floating, nebulous, independent thing.

Remember, not everyone is demisexual. There’s a difference between waiting to have sex and not having sexual attraction at all until a certain point. This also inherently ties demisexuality to romantic attraction and relationships, and not all demisexuals are alloromantic.

But if you read what demisexuality is and think “everyone is like that” or “that’s just being a woman”, you either 1) are demisexual 2) don’t understand what it is or 3) both. And it’s okay to not know. Just as long as you’re willing to try to learn.

[thatdreadbitch]

❗⚠️❗ERROR❗⚠️❗

This user has completed Too Many Tasks And has been temporarily replaced by

Potato

Please do not disturb Potato until further notice

[thatdreadbitch]

habe you ever created a character specifically to go through the horrors and then realized that you don't want him to go through the horrors anymore

[thatdreadbitch]

Fanfic Writer Emoji Ask

😅 What's a story or scene you've created that you're a smidge embarrassed exists?

🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?

🤡 What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh?

😈 Has there been a point in a story where you did something just to be playfully mean to your readers?

✍ Do you have a beta reader?

🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

🎢 Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

💋 First kiss fics. Love em or hate em?

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

🛠What tools/programs/apps do you use to write?

⛔ Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?

🙋‍♀️ Do any irl people know you write fanfic?

🍦 What's the sweetest fic you've created so far?

🍷 Do you drink and write?

🍆 Do you write the spicy stuffs? If so, what's your most popular nsfw fic?

🌞 Do you have a preferred time of day to write?

💖 What made you start writing?

💌 How do you feel about comments and feedback?

❌ What's a trope you will never write?

💲 Would you ever open commissions?

🧐 Do you spend much time researching for your stories?

🏆 What's your most popular fic?

🎃 Do you write fics for certain holidays? Which is your favorite holiday inspired fic?

🎯 Have any of your readers accurately guessed major plot points? Care to share which?

🎨 How do you feel about fan art of your stories?

📈 How many fics do you have?

🦅 Do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants?

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?

💞 Who's your comfort character?

🧠 Pick a character, and I'll tell you my favorite headcanon for them.

🤩 Who is your favorite character to write?

🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip?

😬 Which of your fics would you be most horrified for friends, family, or coworkers to stumble upon?

🎉 What leads you to consider a fic a success?

✅ What's something that appears in your fics over and over and over again, even if you don't mean to?

📚 Would you ever want to turn writing into a career?

⌛ How long does it take you to write a fic, or a chapter?

🤯 What's a genre you struggle with as a writer (ex. romance, action, etc.)?

💔 Is there a fic of yours that broke your heart?

💥 How do you feel about criticism?

🤭 Do you have a favorite tag to use when posting your works?

🥰 How do you feel about reader interaction? Are you open to receiving questions about your fics?

[thatdreadbitch]

🔥 choose violence ask game 🔥

the character everyone gets wrong

a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person?

worst discord server and why

which ship fans are the most annoying?

what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

worst part of canon

worst part of fanon

number of fandom-related words you've filtered

the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

worst blorboficiation

that one thing you see in fics all the time

that one thing you see in fanart all the time

you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

there should be more of this type of fic/art

it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...

you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

part of canon you found tedious or boring

part of canon you think is overhyped

your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

ship you've unwillingly come around to

topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

[thatdreadbitch]

Nonsexual acts of Intimacy - Select from the following and send me a pairing

♔ : Finding the other wearing their clothes

♕: Holding hands

♖: Having their hair washed by the other

♗: One falling asleep with their head in the other's lap.

♘: Cuddling in a blanket fort

♙: Sharing a bed

♚: Head scratches

♛: Sharing a dessert

♜: Shoulder rubs

♝: Reading a book together

♞: Caring for each other while ill

♟: Patching up a wound

♤: Taking a bath together

♧: One character playing with the other's hair

♡: Accidentally falling asleep together

♢: Forehead or cheek kisses

♠: One character adjusting the other's jewelry/neck tie/ etc.

♣: Back scratches

♥: Reacting to the other one crying about something

♦: Slow dancing

[thatdreadbitch]

PSA for Switch owners

The latest 11.0 update means that Google Analytics is a thing on the switch and turned on. What that means is that Nintendo has a deal with Google to share with them your data for advertisement purposes.

To turn it off

go to the eShop

go to your profile where your funds and account info is

go down to the bottom of the page

there you will see “Google Analytics Preferences”

select the Change

select “Don’t Share”

Please spread the word. Really shitty of Nintendo to just quietly start allowing Google to spy on users for advertising.

[thatdreadbitch]

Reblog this and let people send you asks (anonymously or not) about how they would describe your fics, your writing style or just anything they've thought about when reading your work

[thatdreadbitch]

Reblog if you think it’s okay to platonically say “I Love You” to your friends

[thatdreadbitch]

Okay here’s an ask game

Send me a ship and I’ll answer three questions based on if I ship it or not.

Ship It

What made you ship it?

What are your favorite things about the ship?

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Don’t Ship It

Why don’t you ship it?

What would have made you like it?

Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?

[thatdreadbitch]

100 word drabble

100 word Mass Effect drabble from this week in the Mass Effect Fanfiction Server. Set sometime during the events of Mass Effect 2 Rating: Teen Pairing: FShenko/implied fshenkarian Prompt word: trust

“I’m dating Cassandra. There isn't much point if I don't trust her.” “Kaidan, You should know she's started to get close to someone else.” “T'soni, I have faith in my relationship with Cassandra. I encouraged her to start something with whoever she wanted while I couldn't be there with her and we would sort everything out after the Collectors were dealt with.“ “I just-” “I know you don't have experience in relationships but Cassandra and I have been together for three years now. We wouldn't have lasted this long if we hadn't earned eachother's trust. I think you should go.”

#liara critical #fshenko #mass effect fanfiction

[thatdreadbitch]

Truly the most vital survival tool in fandom is a little group of friends to bitch about bad takes with

[thatdreadbitch]

#as a modder i feel called out as well

[thatdreadbitch]

has this one been done yet

[thatdreadbitch]

HEY DISCORD USERS!!

unfortunately, discord continues to be the Worst Messaging Company Of All Time with its updates, and this time, its one that is not only a privacy violation, not only enabled by default, but ROLLED OUT SILENTLY, MEANING YOU MUST KNOW IT EXISTS TO TURN IT OFF.

i am talking about "clips", an exciting new feature /s that allows people to record you in voice chat without your knowledge or consent! Wow!

fortunately, you can turn this off, but its kinda shitty how they didnt tell you this existed at all, yeah?

settings > clips> the button should be clicked to turn it off

(note that it should be ON by default, you will have to click the button to turn it off)

thanks, discord, for Telling Us This Violating Setting Exists In An Update And Making Sure It Is Off By Default. /s.

reblogs are appreciated to spread the word.

[thatdreadbitch]