that-sweet-sweet-validation-blog

[that-sweet-sweet-validation-blog]

CAPTION: I get lots of messages asking for advice on * COMING OUT * But honestly… I don’t know what to say. I don’t want to give reckless advice that could possibly endanger someone, like (”Always follow your heart!”). There are so many factors to consider, like: Will coming out make me a target at school? Will coming out put me in danger at home? Will my family/friends understand? Will I be welcomed in my own community? Will I stay in the closet forever? Is it worth it? I can’t answer that for you. 

It’s also important to know that coming out is an unending process. Strangers, distant family, new friends, coworkers, crushes… every decision to share or not to share becomes a calculated gamble. Please know there is no shame in choosing not to come out. Your safety and well-being comes first. Your identity is still true whether anybody knows about it or not. I wish I could keep you all safe.

[that-sweet-sweet-validation-blog]

Listen up

I know a lot of y'all my age and younger are hearing it today cause it’s Mother’s Day and bless the moms out there who were good mums that’s appreciated and respected.

But as a 33 year old woman who made the decision not to have babies, I want to let you all know it’s okay to have made that choice. It’s ok to realize what you really want is a dog/cat to treat like a baby. It’s ok to shake your head and say “No.” when someone says “Don’t worry! It’ll happen for you!”

It’s okay to be a mom.

It’s okay NOT to be a mom.

It’s okay to have fur babies.

It’s okay if you were a dad and now you’re a mom.

It’s okay if you were a mom and now you’re a dad.

It’s okay.

[that-sweet-sweet-validation-blog]

What is Asexuality?

Asexuality is a sexual orientation, like heterosexuality or homosexuality, etc., but instead of being sexually attracted to men or women, asexual people are sexually attracted to no one.  This doesn’t mean we all hate sex or avoid it, it just means we don’t find people sexually attractive.

What is the Asexuality Archive?

The Asexuality Archive is a collection of all things Ace.  In these pages, I hope to provide a comprehensive and uncensored look into what asexuality is, what it means to us and how it shapes our lives.  My intention is to provide information that is approachable and informative, whether or not you’re asexual.

Projects:

What is Asexuality?:  A companion site, dedicated to providing information about asexuality in multiple formats, including pamphlets and slideshows.

Asexuality: A Brief Introduction: An informational book about what asexuality is, what it’s like to be asexual, and what people should know about asexuality.

An Asexual’s Guide To…:  A series of in-depth posts on topics that are typically wondered about, but are rarely explored in ace circles.

The Comment Section:  A series of posts that explore troublesome comments left on articles about asexuality, and tips for responding to them.

Articles and Information:

Asexuality 101

Asexuality in the DSM-5

A Parent’s Guide To Asexuality

Under the Ace Umbrella: Demisexuality and Gray-asexuality

Things That Are Not Asexuality

Possible Signs of Asexuality – Part 3: About Others

Possible Signs of Asexuality – Part 2: About Sex

Possible Signs of Asexuality – Part 1: About You

Asexuality: Myths, Misconceptions and Other Things That Are Just Plain Wrong

Q & Ace: An Introduction to Asexuality

On the Existence of Asexual Men

A Bit of Attraction

An Asexual on Sex

Asexuality and Celibacy: What’s the difference, anyway?

Asexuality in the World

The Great Chicago Conspiracy

(in)Visibility Activist

Hey you! You wanna help change the world?

How Come You Haven’t Cured Cancer With All Your Free Time?

Cake

Black Rings

The Asexuality Flag

That word… I do not think it means what you think it means.

Tim Gunn on 29 Years of Celibacy

Mario: Secret Asexual?

Nikola Tesla

Isaac Newton

An Asexual’s Guide To …

An Asexual’s Guide To … Having Sex

An Asexual’s Guide To …

An Asexual’s Guide To … Orgasms

An Asexual’s Guide To … Anatomy

An Asexual’s Guide To … Arousal

An Asexual’s Guide To … Masturbation

An Asexual’s Guide To … Female Masturbation

An Asexual’s Guide To … Female Anatomy

An Asexual’s Guide To … Male Masturbation

An Asexual’s Guide To … Male Anatomy

Ace Images

Ace Pride Countries

Ace Pride Canadian Provinces

Ace Pride States

“I Am Asexual” Flag Animation

Asexuality for the Atari 2600

The U.S. of Ace

Ace The Ghost: A Story Of Awareness

There Are Several Hundred Asexuals In This Picture

Asexual Propaganda Poster

“Hey everyone! I’m asexual.”

Not Broken. Not Alone.

Ace Toothpick Flags

An Ace Bracelet

Achievement Unlocked

It’s Okay To Be Alone!

Late Bloomer

Asexual: Deal With It.

The Asexuality Flag

Asexuals Don’t Exist?

Asexuality Cheat Sheet

Just because it’s a stereotype doesn’t mean it’s not true…

“Amoeba Love”

Totally ace shirt.

My closet is ready for AAW.

Nikola Tesla

Isaac Newton

Multiple Choice

Asexual Life

The Great Chicago Conspiracy

An Ace At Work

Social Anxiety and Asexuality

Who Cares About Asexuality? (or: Why Visibility Matters)

Asexuals on Coming Out: Advice

Asexuals on Coming Out: Experiences

Possible Signs of Asexuality – Part 1: About You

I am Asexual

“Attraction, not Action”

Asexuality is Nothing to Hide

Asexuality and Me

An Ace At Work

Social Anxiety and Asexuality

Asexual Intercourse

Who Cares About Asexuality? (or: Why Visibility Matters)

…And Then What?

Living Alone

Forward Advances

AAW Day 7: Assorted Bits of Ace

AAW Day 6: Masturbation

AAW Day 5: Love

AAW Day 4: Porn

AAW Day 3: Attraction

AAW Day 2: Sex

Asexual Awareness Week Day 1: Asexuality and Me

this.Initialize();

Love, Romance, and Other Relationships

What I’ve Missed Out On Being Single

…And Then What?

Possible Signs of Asexuality – Part 3: About Others

Forward Advances

A Bit of Attraction

Sex, Masturbation, and Other Activities

Asexual Intercourse

Possible Signs of Asexuality – Part 2: About Sex

“But asexuals can’t masturbate!”

AAW Day 6: Masturbation

An Asexual on Sex

“Don’t you all hate sex?”

Quick Questions

How Old Do You Have To Be To Know You’re Asexual?

Is “Asexual” Another Way To Say “Celibate”?

Is There a Cure for Asexuality?

How Do I Tell If Someone Is Asexual?

Can Asexuals Fall In Love?

Can Asexuals Have Children?

Can Asexual Men Get Erections?

Do Asexual Men Exist?

Can Asexuals Masturbate?

Can Asexuals Have Sex?

What is Asexuality?

How Do I Become Asexual?

The Comment Section

The Comment Section: An Exploration of Negative Remarks on the Huffington Post Series About Asexuality

The Comment Section: It’s All Too Complicated!

The Comment Section: Everything’s Political

The Comment Section: Nothing Bad Happens

The Comment Section: I’m Not A Doctor, But I Play One On The Internet

The Comment Section: What About Me? ME ME ME!

The Comment Section: So What? Who Cares!

The Comment Section: I Know More About You Than You Do!

The Comment Section: You’re Not One Of Us!

Ask An Ace Guy

People aren’t born sexually attracted to others, so when is “too young”?

What are your thoughts on aesthetic versus sexual attraction?

What’s the hardest part about running a website about asexuality? What’s the best/worst response to your website (or book) you’ve received?

Do you ever have sexual fantasies?

How do aces/aros identify a lack of something?

Since you discovered what asexuality was, and came to understand what it meant for you, have you ever felt conflicted about it?

You’ve talked publicly about a lot of sexually explicit issues. How did you get to be so comfortable doing that?

Any movies or books with ace characters in them? Do you have a fav?

I’ve had crushes in the past, sex repulses me, do you think I may be asexual?

Are women more or less interested because you’re asexual?

North American Asexuality Conference

NAAC2015 Conference Takeaways

NAAC2015 Roundup: Day 2 Unconference

NAAC2015 Roundup: Session 4 — “Q & Ace”

NAAC2015 Roundup: Session 3 — Ace Content Creation

NAAC2015 Roundup: Session 2 — Articulating Asexuality

NAAC2015 Roundup: Session 1 — How To Handle Detractors

[that-sweet-sweet-validation-blog]

Happy Mother’s Day to the LGBTQ moms, the ally moms, the PFLAG moms, the still-figuring-it-out-moms, and the queer kids who do a lot of heavy lifting explaining it all to their moms. And if today is hard for you for whatever reason, I see you and I’m with you and you are loved. 💕

[that-sweet-sweet-validation-blog]

big reminder that I love boys

[that-sweet-sweet-validation-blog]

gay trans guys invented true love so you can jot that down

[that-sweet-sweet-validation-blog]

me whenever i hear a girl with a deep voice talk

[that-sweet-sweet-validation-blog]

wrong! there's only one gender and we've all got to share it!

thsts exactly what the other person said but again. finally some good gender politics in my ask box

[that-sweet-sweet-validation-blog]

All trans women are goddesses and that’s them facts

[that-sweet-sweet-validation-blog]

Even if things aren’t great right now, enjoy those small moments of validation. Someone uses the right pronouns? Someone uses the right name? Your clothes fit in the way you want?  Smile and enjoy it. Don’t let the darkness takeover. Little things can easily make your day. Happiness is coming, but let things brighten the day in the meantime .

[that-sweet-sweet-validation-blog]

To my baby enbies who are only teens:

I am 20. I came out on Facebook to my family and friends. My parents immediately switched names and went from saying I was their daughter to that I was their child. It wasn’t easy, but it got done.

My partner is the same age as me and they work with teens. Their pronouns change, and even though they live in the middle of the Bible Belt, they explained their identity and the teens were curious about their gender identity and listened when they were told not to use slurs. They changed their label a few times, worried what I would think, but I told them that exploring your identity should be an adventure.

My good friend is in the same class as me, and she uses either she/her or they/them. Sometimes she binds, sometimes she doesn’t. 24/7, she makes jokes about being the biggest Lesbian to walk the planet.

My manager at work is nonbinary and uses they/them pronouns. Our coworkers respect their pronouns, and they are a fantastic boss. They’re in their early 30s approximately.

My newest university professor introduced themself and stated immediately that their pronouns are they/them. They are sweet and a successful artist, and they’re 5 years into teaching at my university. They’re also in their 30s.

Being nonbinary isn’t a thing “for teenagers on tumblr”.

Being nonbinary doesn’t mean that you have to keep it a secret.

Being nonbinary doesn’t mean that you have to limit your success or your identity.

Being nonbinary is for anyone who identifies that way.

There is no one way to be nonbinary, there is only the way you want to be nonbinary.

I hope that your coming out goes smoothly, and I hope it happens when you’re ready and you want it.

May you all find love, success, and joy during the summer months <3

[that-sweet-sweet-validation-blog]

Hey Trans guys who are attracted to guys !

There’s nothing wrong with you, you’re not any less trans for being attracted to men, it’s perfectly okay to be attracted to men, being a trans man who’s attracted to men has its own challenges but you will find someone who loves you and helps you become the best you you can be! You’re gonna be okay. You’ll find love , you’ll find acceptance. You will find a man who adores you just as you are and for all that you will become!

[that-sweet-sweet-validation-blog]

Hey! Kink identities are fine as long as you’re a consenting adult! But!!! They’re not!!! LGBT+!!!

[that-sweet-sweet-validation-blog]

In honor of Janelle Monáe coming out I put together a lil graphic about bi & pan identities! This is based on my own experiences within the community as someone who uses both terms. It of course does not cover everything! Image description under the cut.

Keep reading

[that-sweet-sweet-validation-blog]

BITCHHHHHH

anyone please ask your crush out like this

[that-sweet-sweet-validation-blog]

Hi Lake!!!!! I love your blog!!! My name is Krys and my pronouns are they/them/their, but I've been questioning about xe/xem/xyr. I am just a nonbinary persom with no support system other than tumblr. I am out to my family and friend, but they barely use the right name and always misgender me. I'm been so depressed and dysphoric about it and I don't know what to do.

Hi Krys! I know that neopronouns can be very intimidating to use at a glance, but I promise they really aren’t as bad as some people make them out to be. As someone who has known many folks who use less common pronouns, I can say with confidence that there is nothing confusing or awkward about them. Once you get into the swing of things, neopronouns are a breeze! I’m sorry you don’t have much of an offline support system, but I’m glad you have somewhere to go where you can safely be yourself. My blog is always a judgement-free zone and a safe space for any and all LGBT+ people. (That means you, ya know.) I am deeply sorry that your family and friends don’t always label you correctly. I understand why that would make you depressed. Just try your best to remember that there are people who do understand and who will love you for the person you are. I know that when I first came out, I had nobody who would support me. I was entirely on my own, but I knew that I wouldn’t always be. I promise you that there are tons of people just like you and tons of people who will treat you with the respect you deserve. I hope things get better for you, pal. Good luck!

[that-sweet-sweet-validation-blog]

I hope y’all know that anyone on my blog is offered the same courtesy 

Just because I’m a gay man doesn’t mean I wouldn’t die for lesbians if u don’t fight for the gals then ur a weak cowards. This goes DOUBLE for trans lesbians they’re stronger than any us marine