tennekee17
Tennekee
Just dumping my mind here. Just expressing myself and posting all the things I love. I want to just exist here. Welcome.
116 posts
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Last Seen Blogs
flores2010
Sin título
shadowapus1
Shadow Apus (the devil who wants to be an angel)
kakafuchs
Kaká
feminizationnedclinic
Feminization.clinic01
Text
Dear Diary
Woke up well rested this morning despite not getting 8 hours of sleep. I am plagued by anxiety and depression lately but I am trying to do more to combat it. I really miss writing and creating but the depression and anxiety has stifled me a little making it hard to focus on my goals and dreams. As of lately, I haven't been doing very much to propel me forward as a person in any category of my life. Right now, I'm on the train on the way to work and I'm legit proud that I was productive enough this morning to begin to fix some errors. I did skincare, I dressed like I had some damn sense and brushed my teeth. I think recently I've really focused on making sure those around me are good and I only ever want to see them happy so when they not right, I'm not right. In the last 3 years, I've really struggled with depression to the point to where it was hard to even get through the work day and I would sleep every hour I could to avoid the world and I had a relapse of that recently and I have learned that I am my environment and recently my environment has been a mindful for some time, but I'm ready to really work on getting my surroundings in order so that I can begin to recapture the better parts of me. I'm gonna work on cleaning my space and really planning for the future in a better way. I wanna focus on writing again and really developing my craft because there's something there and I can see the potential in my greatness as a writer. I'm gonna focus on my skin and my health because I have not been doing great with that despite telling my friends I have been. I'm gonna get into meditation, pilates and manifestation in order to calm my mind because I don't ever feel at peace. I'm in a place right now as I step towards 34, I loathe and fear repeating this year as I've done the last few years. I'm financially in the most depleted place ever but I know I have options and ways to regain my focus and drive to succeed in every avenue I see fit. After my birthday, I want to figure out my job and educational future as I aspire to do more and be more and while I have grown so much as an employee I've felt very stuck and stifled and itching to do more but I've got to get to a place where I am able to do that. I bought a 5 year planner (2 actually) and I want to use those to really get my goals together and hold myself accountable. I honestly feel typing all this out has already begun to make me feel better like a weight is slowly lifting off my shoulders. As the day progresses, I want to focus on work and really gather myself before I fall off the rails again. I declare today the first day of really trying to get over this hump in my life and really striving to begin again and doing all I can to be better for myself, to be a better friend, son, brother and employee.
Stay True,
Ant
0 notes
