telaraneas

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you have entered

joey jaturday

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YES

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GG: i think you are projecting your own attitude on to others […] GG: rose just sent me a code for a crystal ball, shes my friend and is basically the best! […] CA: its probably a trap i wwouldnt trust her CA: she is a cunnin and treacherous sort trust me i knoww her type GG: wait do you have a thing for her too??? GG: did she reject you or something?

Annihilate him, Jade. This would be a good time to unleash that rage you've been cultivating.

CA: all of her FRAUDULENT MAGICS cannot come close to posin threat to my mastery ovver the TRUEST SCIENCES CA: an wwith my empiricists wwand i servve as the righteous hope that wwill incinerate delusion and the deluded alike

This dude's on some Methods of Rationality type shit.

I'm not sure why Eridan is on a crusade against magic. He's been insisting it was fake since his original introduction page, and it's pretty clear he has some sort of complex about it. Is there some unseen history here that we're not yet privy to?

GG: wow what are you talking about CA: so really you should be honored to inherit my old callin CA: both my armaments and my feud

To be fair to Eridan, he is accomplishing something useful here, even if it's by accident. Jade needs to get that rifle in her pen-pal's hands in order to fulfil the Endgame Bunny's time loop.

Recalling Eridan’s introduction reminds me that this is one of the most powerful riflekind weapons in existence. This should imply that top-tier weapons cost tens of millions of grist...

...but we just saw a weapon that costs much, much more.

Maybe the Proton Cannon has the same damage as the Crosshairs, but it also has an incredibly broken non-combat use.

GG: i have seen this before […] GG: i am very sure its the same rifle included with johns present […] CA: probably a cheap imitation of the original […] GG: i did not provide the weapons! GG: my penpal did […] GG: we worked on it together but he supplied the bunnys weapons GG: im pretty sure hes from the future! CA: wwhy GG: because he said hes my grandson

Really?

I suppose being raised by a Sburb veteran would explain why he uses terms like 'boonbuck' in casual speech - but almost nothing else makes sense when viewed through this lens.

If Pen-Pal is Jade's grandson, then he should be from decades in the future - presumably long after the game has ended. This doesn't sound like a problem, until you remember some of the references he made.

As much as it pains me to admit it, the Earth is probably gone for good - which means that any descendants of our Players will be raised somewhere else. Why would someone presumably raised in a completely different universe be so familiar with Earth's culture?

You could argue that he picked up his love of Earth movies from one of the surviving Earthlings, such as adult John - although that raises its own issues, because PP talks to John like he's never met him before. Maybe he died young, and passed his love of movies to PP posthumously - but as you can see, we're really having to stretch things to make this make sense.

Plus, there's an even bigger problem - namely, his 1920s 'accent'. None of the surviving Earthlings have it, and it's not like he just developed it spontaneously. If he was raised by Jade or her child, why does he talk like her grandfather would?

See, I'm still sure that PP is connected directly to Grandpa, and may well be the man himself - which means either PP is lying, or there's something more complicated going on here.

We don't know anything about Grandpa's life after he fled the Crocker household. If he was somehow raised by an adult, post-Sburb Jade, then he could consider her his grandmother, while still talking and acting like the Grandpa Harley we know. Plus, it would explain why he acts like he's from the past, but knows about the future. He already has a history of time travelling - maybe he's been doing it since he was a kid.

Similar to my old theory about Spades Slick, this one is a little too convoluted to be 100% true - but still I think there's something to this idea. Being raised by Jade would neatly explain where he got the bunny's weapons...

Ugh, I don't know! This Pen-Pal really is the biggest curveball this comic has thrown at me. I need to think it over some more.

#....holy shit eridan really IS on some methods of rationality type shit #also im glad i didnt hallucinate methods of rationality

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Ayy, it's another zero grist recipe!

The SORD..... also cost zero grist, but it was in a different denomination. Is there a difference between these recipes, or are they equivalent?

Maybe you need to have seen the grist denomination in question. Perhaps, if she hadn't encountered that gem before, Jade would be looking at an unusable question-mark recipe.

Loving the goggles on the Duttle. Truly, he is gazing into his own soul.

Anyway, we've finally finished all four alchemy sessions! That's a serious milestone - and a bittersweet one, because it might mean we're done with alchemy for good.

Oh, pack it in, Ampora.

Destroyed in five messages flat.

CA: lets not get distracted by your sad league of suitors and their flushed desperations CA: im offerin you the edge here CA: in your rivvalry wwith the other female

I never expected Eridan to endear himself to me this Act, but I am mildly impressed that he's actually more of a prick when talking to the humans.

CA: wwevve got the same abstratus CA: and i dont need this thing anymore CA: since i became more powwerful than you could evver imagine as a mighty wwizard of wwhite science

Presumably he's using needlekind now, like our other spellcaster.

Where did he get needlekind, actually? None of the other trolls use it, which I guess implies he picked it up from an Underling, like John did with bunnykind. If this game has been holding out on showing us magic-wielding Imps, I'm going to be pissed.

So Eridan is a 'wizard of science', which makes it sound like he's wielding his wand in defiance of magic. Perhaps he's channeling his skepticism into some sort of antimagic, which might actually become a problem. Sburb - no matter what anyone else says - runs on magic.

#aughhh eridan and anti belief

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[@hemoanarchists tweets:

“Homestuck is so entrenched in early 2010s internet politics and I think its important to remember that bc you truly separate characters like Dirk and Vriska from the very era specific forms of misogyny and homophobia”

“00s internet as well like… oh God you can’t separate homestuck from the fact people used to send each other shock gore as like a joke in the 00s it really informs so many of the themes”]

#I HAVE BEEN SAYING THIS

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does anyone know what kind of bug this is? is it poisonous?

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┐(シ)┌

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hey vriska what are your plans for new years - oh ok.

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original mlp comic by punkitt-is-here

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Draw nep smoking a blunt plsss it'll be funny

we do a little trolling

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who smokes the biggest, fattest, nastiest blunts in homestuck?

john: he is from the suburbs. if earth b wasn't destroyed he would've smoked not only weed, but would've probably done shrooms as well. maybe even crack

rose: has definitely done weed but is now staying sober. not just to help with her alcoholism, but also because she gets extremely paranoid when she does and starts lighting candles everywhere to get rid of the smell and it's a literal fire hazard.

dave: talks the most shit but gets nervous and clammy when he's first handed a bong and it slips out of his shaking, sweaty hands and shatters into pieces all over the floor and no one offers him weed ever again

jane: doesn't touch the stuff because she "doesn't have the time for it" but the one time she decides to take a hit it has no effect on her at all and she gets extremely frustrated and takes a couple more, lies down, and then immediately enters the deepest, longest sleep of her life to the point that everyone else around her gets very concerned

jake: says he's never really been into drugs until someone informs him that the mushrooms he dug up behind meemaw's garden shed as a kid and ate to see funny movies in his head were, in fact, a form of drug

roxy: has actually never done weed and the one time she was given a bong has also dropped it with her sweaty gamer hands and had it shatter all over the floor

dirk: knows that weed could potentially help calm him down, let go of his hyper-vigilance, give relief from his constant self-inflicted anxiety, and help him achieve a state of inner peace. which is why he stays stone cold sober

all the trolls: they literally sleep in cbd slime

jade: snoop dogg

#my favorite post

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here are some ngestuck designs

as usual i couldnt write to save my life so i have no idea how the story would unfold in this au

pls discuss the possibilities with me

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homestuck made this world really does feel like they’re lifting up a rock and looking at the bugs underneath with a magnifying glass

#i had to stop listening because i had chronic I NEED TO BE IN THE ROOM DISCUSSING THIS disease #i was literally yelling at my phone when i thought they were saying something that was wrong which i could have #shown a different perspective on #i think this is a sign that the podcast is fantastic and my brain is fucked

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the key to not fanonizing your faves is to simply become academia-brained about it. never make a statement about a character you can’t back up with at least three references to the source material

#i literally started up a google doc gathering up my own assertions about classpects to be able to isolate them and challenge them

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can openers

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those guys