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No-one Fucks With The Lobos - Chapter 27

This one might be the end. It might not. I'm going to go back and re-read everything, because believe it or not, I wrote this without a plan at all.

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/48070186/chapters/127886374

Teddy was indeed a man of his word. He did fuck my brains dumb, and then he fed me, and then he took a hold of me in ways I didn’t think I’d ever been taken hold in. Of? See, I told you – he fucked me dumb. So dumb that I still apparently can’t form a full, coherent sentence.

The morning after was when Teddy relented. He woke me up with rather minty morning breath, and then – asking full consent before he did so – slipped his hand down my stomach and turned me right on again. He woke me slowly, with kisses everywhere he could reach before he rolled on top of me and slid himself into me easily… because of course, with the morning haze, I was fully prepared and ready for him. I must have fallen asleep again (or he’d knocked me clean out again), because I woke up a little while later to the smell of waffles, and the sound of plates clinking.

I made my way into the bathroom and took a shower already, then dressed comfortably for the day. I padded quietly through to the kitchen, and found that the double doors to the roof top terrasse were open. I felt a faint trickle of guilt slip down into my stomach. We hadn’t really used the roof terrasse after Teddy’s incident… but since Teddy had done something to me for months, I realised I couldn’t be sure of any single memory I had of him. So, I made my way out there, and found Teddy on the phone, surveying his empire.

“Sure. Call me when it’s done.” He passed a hand over his hair and sighed. A young woman in a cleaning-type apron was setting a breakfast out. Just two seats at the table overlooking Teddy’s little slice of the world which he controlled. I felt like baby Simba watching Mufasa work his kingdom. Everything the light touches is yours… well, I knew everything the light still shone on in my brain was mine… but for the rest? All shadowy dark areas I had no idea about at all. “I know, but I can’t be there today. I promised (Y/N) we could talk for a bit about stuff, and I don’t know how it’s gonna fucking go. I think you can handle a couple runners, Mack, come on.” Teddy put the phone down after a moment.

The woman gestured for me to sit.

“No habla inglese,” she said a little meekly. I nodded, and took a seat.

“Gracias,” I murmured. She smiled pleasantly, and when I continued in Spanish (albeit rudimentary Spanish), she broke into a full grin. “I don’t think we’ve met before. I’m (Y/N). I’m married to Teddy.” I had forgotten the Spanish for spouse.

“I know who you are.” She bowed her head. “Would you like some coffee? Or tea? I am just waiting for the hot food to cook.”

“Please,” I said. Teddy was watching me. “Have you worked for Teddy long?”

“Yes.” She picked up an insulated pot and poured me a cup of coffee. “Many years. But you were either sleeping, or out when I come to clean. I don’t speak English, you see, so Mr Lobo always asked me to come and clean when you were out.” She served me some berries, and some other fruits. I thanked her again. “But you were also sleeping a lot. So I did not disturb you.”

“Right…” I sipped my coffee. “What is your name?”

“Monica,” she smiled.

“Monica here is an absolute angel,” Teddy said, in near-perfect Spanish. But for the soft American twang he had when he spoke, I’d have thought he was Spanish. “She’s really done a lot for me over the years. She works hard, she’s reliable and trustworthy… and she’s an excellent cook, too. Always finds the best berries.” Teddy took a seat and helped himself to the berries.

“Gracias, Senor Lobo,” Monica smiled.

“How’re you feeling, beautiful?” He switched to English. Monica took it as her cue to leave us and check on the food.

“Oh, I’m beautiful now?” I asked, raising my eyebrows.

“You always were.”

“Funny. Yesterday morning, you couldn’t stand me being needy.”

“Because you were being fucking needy. Now you’re not. You’re all cute –“

“You mean you’ve finally had a decent fuck and you’re feeling benevolent.”

“Put those claws away, sweetheart.” Teddy’s eyes flashed annoyance, but like an adult dog with a puppy, he let it slide with a small warning. “Or I won’t be feeling so benevolent…”

“Got it.” I looked around as Teddy poured himself some coffee. “First thing I really want to know is whether you actually did nearly throw yourself off the roof that day.” Teddy looked at me as he took a sip.

“Well…” He sighed. “What do you remember?”

“I remember you were coming off the coke, and you climbed up on the railing and slipped, because it was raining. And I grabbed you and hauled you in.”

“Huh. Right.” He set his cup down. “Not entirely what happened. But I’ll get to that.”

“Go on, then.”

“Let’s wait for Monica to bring the food. Then I’ll tell you everything while we eat.”

Teddy

In a way, Teddy had been waiting for this day to come. The day that (Y/N) would finally crack that what had actually happened, versus that beautiful perception of an addled, swimming brain. And indeed, the two were not entirely joined together. In fact, there was a lot of stuff that (Y/N) remembered just plain wrongly, rather than slightly off. Teddy ate a little quicker than (Y/N), so he ate his fill, then replenished his coffee.

“I’ll start from the beginning, ‘kay?” (Y/N) gave a nod, eating quietly.

Teddy took a breath in, leaning back. He turned his phone on silent, and placed it into his pocket. He stretched, and got himself comfy.

“When we were in the restaurant that day, I was on an enforcement job. Run of the mill, you know? We were there, me and the lads, because the people running it hadn’t paid up in a while, and one of the lads thought there was a mole. And a couple days before, I found out that one of my guys was the cousin of one of the restaurant owners, and they’d been selling intel on us for a decent price, and then paying us to keep them safe. Meaning, keep their guy on the team. So I went over there to shake ‘em up a bit, and it got a little zany.

“I didn’t plan on kidnapping you, (Y/N). But when I saw you, I wanted to scare the shit out of you. But I also knew that, since I’d publicly killed your friend, and your body wouldn’t be found in the fray, that any rival gang would be out to get you. They’d be out for blood. Because you’d have seen things that day, and if the Sandersons had been selling info to more than one other family, they’d assume you knew shit. So, I had to keep you safe. But I also really wanted to break you down and make you part of our team. My mom and I understood that you were great at your job. Smart, clever, intelligent, and a good analyst. You would be very good on our team. But for that, we needed to turn you. I needed to turn you, honestly, mom wasn’t gonna do a fucking thing. But yeah. I know how to break people, and I did manage to break you pretty nicely.

“Once I had you wanting me, it was easy enough to start manipulating you. I put you on a light dosage of ketamine, to keep you a little pliable. I knew over the months – or weeks, I originally thought, but you didn’t fucking relent so it became months – I knew that you’d need higher doses, but I didn’t wanna have you addicted to it. So I kept your doses low, and sometimes skipped ‘em altogether. And in the end, you didn’t need any. I stopped dosing you completely recently.” He pressed his lips together, watching me eat for a second. “You didn’t make any moves to leave, aside from the fact that you thought my behaviour had changed outright. It hadn’t.” He took a moment to eat some of the food on his plate.

“Truth is, (Y/N), I wanted you for a shit long fucking time. And I wanted you on your knees and I wanted you to be yourself, your good little self... but those two together can’t exist. So I had to pick one. I wanted you to want me more than anything.” He drank some coffee and sat back, making it clear he wasn’t going to add anything further. (Y/N) watched him for a bit.

“I remember things from the past few months, Teddy,” (Y/N) said quietly, after a few tense moments of silence. “I have a lot of memories. Things that definitely happened to me.”

“Yeah.”

“So... alright. Fine. Let’s start with you coming off the coke.”

“Happened.” Teddy smiled. “You actually helped me with that.”

“Did I take the rest of it to your mom?”

“Yeah. You were a little out of it. But I was in a bad way with it. It’s addiction when you can’t fucking function without it… and my normal wasn’t fucking normal, was it?” he chuckled softly, shaking his head. “But you didn’t want me on it, so I got clean for you. And I got back to my old self.

“We went to see my mom when you were a little more lucid. I gave you slightly less. Gamble, by all means, but it paid off ‘cause you didn’t cause any shit, you know? You just kinda stood there and gave her the bag. You both spoke for a bit, and then I left because I realised I was crossing so many fucking lines I’d spent years drawing. And maybe this’ll answer another plot point for you, because you’d gotten way too fucking close for comfort with my professional life, too. Sure, your charity ideas were good – Villa Lobos for the dog shelter, and Loco Lobos for the youth centre have both taken off pretty well – but you were trying to pull me away from what I do best. Criminal activity. I fucking love being a criminal, (Y/N), and you were trying to stop me from doing that. So I faked a tantrum and left. I don’t know what you said to my mom properly, but when you came out… I was about ready to kill you.

“Speaking of killing you, I did also put you in the ICU. And I’ve never been more scared of losing something in my entire life. It was just after those jackasses had come in here and raped you into submission, and I lost my shit at them –“ he made a gesture with his hand “- and you told me I’d left you to them, as though I’d known there was a mole in the house who had keys to my apartment. I didn’t know, and it fucking hurt. But losing you hurt way, way more… I overstepped the line with it, (Y/N), and I spent so long there… Mom didn’t understand why I stayed by your say night and day, but I love you. Of course I stayed. I couldn’t imagine a life without you, not now.

“But going back to the original point… you learned a lot about my professional career, and I assume you thought you could make me only handle legal stuff. You learned a lot while you were pretty high, so I don’t know if you retained it or not… but at that point, I was dosing you up a little higher than before, just to keep you placid. You made a lot of notes, came up with your own ideas… it was incredible, really. I was proud. But I couldn’t justify giving up doing what I love doing. I love enforcing, (Y/N). I love watching people cower in pure fucking fear when I get ‘em on their fucking knees and stick a gun in their mouth. I love watching people piss and shit themselves… I love the rush of driving too fast through the streets. Get out the fucking way, or get fucking pancaked… I don’t care. People fear me and respect me, and that’s all I want out of life. I’m a simple person, at heart.” He gave (Y/N) a wolfish grin. “Just like my father.”

In truth, that’s all Teddy had ever wanted: to be just as powerful and great as his father. And if his mother would just step aside, he could have that. He could enjoy it, use the power to make New Orleans into something no-one in the states had ever seen before. He’d turned every single cop in the city onto his payroll. He had lines of import and export reaching the entire East Coast up to Canada, which was on his horizon as a new venture… but he’d needed someone like (Y/N) to be by his side for that. A partner (literally) in crime who could help him and who he could trust no matter what. Because a marriage usually meant both people trusted each other implicitly. And Teddy felt he could trust (Y/N). Especially now, after (Y/N) had made it clear there was no friendship with Quincy any more.

(Y/N) looked at Teddy with soft, gentle eyes.

“What about… the wedding? I remember that…” A tiny, barely there voice. Teddy felt a little bad.

“Yeah… it happened, baby.” He reached over and held his hand out. (Y/N) slid a soft palm into his. “It happened, and I’m fucking glad it did. But you were a little high. I still didn’t know if you’d accept me completely sober. After your performance with Quincy, I understand that you would have done.”

“You could have just asked me, Teddy.”

“And risk you saying no?” He smirked. (Y/N) coloured a little. “Look, I had my reasons for keeping you dosed up. Especially in the beginning. But… and maybe we need to address the issue of consent, too, actually. Because I might be a criminal, and I might hold no fucking value to human life… but I’m really not into fucking rape. No means no for me. Both ways. I say no to you, I fucking expect you to honour that. You say no to me, and I’ll honour that.” His face reflected the sincerity. “(Y/N), I can say honestly that I never took you against your will. You always wanted me. And I never touched you like that when I knew you were too out of it or high to make a full choice for yourself. A little buzzed? Sure, I’d take it. But there were times when you wanted me, and you were doped up, and I did nothing.”

(Y/N) stared at Teddy. Teddy said nothing.

“Right… right… okay…”

“I… I don’t know if that was an issue for you… but anything to do with our relationship… I’ve given you a full choice.” (Y/N) burst out laughing.

“You’ve just fucking said you kept me dosed up to make sure I didn’t fucking ditch you at the altar!” (Y/N) hissed, pushing back from the table. “How is that giving me a choice?!”

“Don’t – fucking spin out on me now!” Teddy growled. He stood. “Don’t. You could have said no, but you didn’t. I asked you when you were low dose –“

“I don’t give a fuck when you asked me! You said I had full choice – how was it full choice if I was coked up?!”

“You never fucking took cocaine!” Teddy hissed. He took a calming breath. “It was ketamine – look, (Y/N), if you fucking remember it, then it fucking happened that way. Alright?! Think about when you yelled at my mom for the coke. How does that memory sit?!” (Y/N) tried to remember, but couldn’t. Not fully. The memory was more like a loopy, woozy, drunk… thing… than anything else. But the wedding… that was clearer. Almost as though it was viewed through very tired eyes, but still - (Y/N) had a much more stable memory of it. Teddy held a hand up as (Y/N) backed off and sat back down.

“Right… and… and then… well… the only other thing I want to know about is the rooftop incident.” Teddy’s mouth twitched.

“Yeah… how… how exactly do you remember that?”

(Y/N)

As much as I hated to admit anything to myself, Teddy’s explanations made sense. But I had a much more stable memory of the rooftop incident, just a metre away from where we were sitting… and I remembered it well.

“Teddy?” I called, but no answer came. I felt a bit sick all of a sudden. “Teddy?”

Nothing.

I climbed up to the rooftop.

Teddy was sat on the railing.

Legs over the side the wrong fucking way.

SHIT.

The blueberries fell from my hand, rolling away.

He looked up at the sky, eyes closed. And he was swaying.

He was so, so close to falling. He slid a little, and startled, regaining his balance.

“TEDDY!”

It happened in slow motion, almost.

I don’t know if he slipped, or jumped. I don’t know if he was waiting for me to be there, or if I’d startled him. I don’t fucking know what happened, but I darted forward and grabbed him just as he slipped forwards. It took every single ounce of my strength to hold him in place – just hold him. My entire weight was back, I wasn’t even on my feet, I was just acting as a weight to keep Teddy from plunging down fuck knows how many floors to his death.

Because a fall like that would have pancaked him.

“Let me fucking go,” Teddy breathed, gripping my arms.

“Teddy - no -” I grappled back. He wasn’t trying to get away from me, though. He was holding me as much as I was holding him. I panicked. I fucking panicked. “Please - help me – fuck!” I felt him slipping. “TEDDY!”

“I can’t do it anymore, (Y/N),” Teddy said softly. “I’m... I can’t fucking do it... Just let me go... I fucking deserve to fucking die...”

“No - Teddy – please let’s talk about this!”

“You’re gonna fucking leave,” he whined.

“Teddy, I won’t leave – I promise you I won’t leave! I’m here to stay, Teddy! I choose you! I – fucking love you!” I held on for dear life. Teddy slid a little more, his legs flailing. I could feel his heart racing in his chest as he scrambled for purchase, a strangled cry leaving his throat.

Whatever depressive episode he’d just been through, the fog started to leave him as fear and adrenaline took over.

I managed to get my feet on the railing and, with the last of my strength, I pushed everything I had onto my feet. It worked. Teddy lifted up, and I felt backwards with him, both of us landing hard on the ground. I was winded, but he rolled off me and I pinned him down. I didn’t realise the tears that were pouring down my cheeks until Teddy swiped them away.

“I’m sorry,” he gasped. “I’m so sorry!” He trembled violently as he clung to me, and I to him, lying there on the wet decking of the terrasse. “I’m sorry - (Y/N) I’m sorry! I’m so fucking sorry!”

“It’s - no, Teddy, don’t apologise, baby boy, it’s alright,” I breathed, pushing my face into his chest. He gasped for breath, his chest heaving as a panic attack, and the terrorised realisation of what he’d almost just done, hit him like a train. And he started to sob properly, far deeper and more gut-wrenchingly than I’d ever seen anyone cry before. He held me, as the mist around us turned to rain.

If we’d waited just a few seconds more, he’d have slipped out of my grasp.

Teddy fucking Lobo would be dead.

How could I forget that? Teddy Lobo, plunging to his death?! Almost slipping from my grasp?! I wished I could show Teddy what I remembered.

“I… you were… on the railing,” I said softly. “And I just about stopped you from slipping.” I looked at him, my heart racing. The memory had that edge to it, that weird, loopy edge that made everything dance. But the parts that were clear… me, clinging to Teddy in the rain. Someone holding someone against a railing… the smell of him through the rain… the fear in his eyes… “You were sitting on the railing…”

“No, (Y/N).” Teddy took my hands. “You were on that railing. And I had to climb over to get you.” He stood and took me with him. What I saw knocked the breath from me. There was a ledge, easily accessible if you climbed over. And then, a sheer drop. Almost like an overhang. But there was enough room for someone to stand there comfortably without needing safety harnesses or whatever… And I could see scratches on some of the ledge where something had dug in. “You were there. Sitting right there, legs dangling over. I climbed over to get you, because it was raining, and honestly, if you’d fucking fallen, I’d have jumped after you. And I grabbed you and got you over the railing… but I slipped, climbing back over, and you wouldn’t let me go. I wasn’t in danger, and it was sweet… but you were so high. So fucking high. I couldn’t move you for a while. Every time I tried, you just seized up and melted, and I couldn’t drag you because when I fucking tried that, you let out this piercing fucking scream.” He held both of my hands tightly. “I fucking hate heights, (Y/N).”

I had to laugh. God, I had to fucking laugh. How could I not laugh? But Teddy waited patiently while my little episode passed.

“And I’m clean now?” A slow, sage nod. “Right…”

“And since you’re clean, I want to ask you if you want to stay here with me, and be mine… let me romance you and show you what I would have done if you’d been fucking normal, and not a good little cop… or if you want out.”

My heart stopped. I wanted out? If I wanted out? He couldn’t be serious… Teddy wouldn’t let me go…?

“I… out?” I asked.

“Yeah. I mean… I love you, (Y/N). And in my fantasies, when I first saw you… I wanted you to be mine just because you wanted me. I wanted to pick you up and charm you the good old-fashioned way. Dinner dates, fun reckless shit, then hot sex in the car…” He chuckled, stroking my cheek. “But you had to go and be a cop… and be a good cop at that.”

“I don’t know, Teddy…”

“Look. If I could do it over again, I’d probably try to win you over. But with Quincy and Chandler in your ears, I wouldn’t have stood a chance.”

“You’re right. You wouldn’t have done, because I found that fucking car hideous, and I hated the thing inside it.” I looked at him. See, the look he was giving me now… no-one but me got that look. And all the stable memories of Teddy, ones from before the drugs, they all had that look. Whenever I showed up on a crime scene, he’d give me that look as he drove away. Or if I saw him on the street, he’d give me that look… and he gave me that look when I first submitted to him. Because I remember that day vividly. The day I’d decided that he wasn’t so bad. That I was fighting for nothing.

A life with Teddy could be miles better than the life I had before him.

“Please tell me what you’re thinking,” he said softly. He took both my hands again.

“Alright…” I took a breath. “I’m thinking of my life before you took me. My run-down house with barely enough cash to foot the bills each month. Wondering if I was going to get killed every day. Wondering what would happen to my place if I couldn’t make the rent… listening to Rebecca go on about you as if you were the only thing left in the world to discuss. No hobbies, no real life outside of being a cop…” I sighed. “I looked back and kinda realise just how boring it all was. But with you, I can do something. I know I’ve said this before… but I can, can’t I? I can actually do the charity work. Open hospitals and schools… you’ll give me money for that sort of thing, right?” Teddy nodded. “And we’ve already set up Loco Lobos, we’re funding Villa Lobos…” more nodding. “I could have leisure time. A nice place to live. No stress over where my next meal is coming from at the end of the month…”

“Exactly.” Teddy’s voice was soft.

“And… and it wouldn’t matter that the money comes from dirty sources. Because you can always trace it back to dirty sources, no matter where it comes from…” I sighed. The world, I realised in that moment, was far bigger than me. And truly, fighting Teddy so abundantly every day wasn’t going to help me, or anyone else. Truly.

I know I’ve already come to this realisation… but something about the finality of this moment made it even more real.

I genuinely couldn’t do anything without the backing of an empire like the Lobo empire.

I was a single tiny pixel on a huge screen. If I went out, the screen would keep playing the picture. But if an entire empire went out, like the amount of pixels the Lobo empire must take up… well, that would do far more damage to the picture.

And then… then I had to ask myself if I could live without Teddy. If I could live in a city knowing Teddy could burn around the corner. I thought back to the months I’d spent as a cop, working against him. And I had to admit that there was a tiny little thrill deep inside me that made me hope Teddy would notice me. Perhaps that had once been some weird kind of sick desire to fight… but maybe I’d misinterpreted it. Maybe it was lust. The tattoos were my cup of coffee, for sure. As was his hair… his fashion choices were a little too ostentatious for me… but the rest of it? Teddy’s lifestyle? The power he held? The way he held himself, the way he… the way he just was. Could I live without that?

“So, (Y/N)?” he asked again. “Do you want to stay with me, or no? Do you want out?”

I swallowed.

“That all really depends,” I whispered. “Did I imagine the sex being as good as it was, or was it genuinely fucking mind-blowing?” I took a step forward, reached up, and kissed Teddy. He tasted like the fucking berries he’d eaten. Intoxicating raspberries and blueberries… the motherfucker.

“There’s only one way to find out, baby,” he purred.

“Then blow my fucking mind,” I grinned. Teddy picked me up and whisked me off to the bedroom.

Because of course I couldn’t leave. Not now. Not after all he’d put me through.

The old me was dead. Teddy had killed me and made room for the real me.

I couldn’t leave.

I am (Y/N) Lobo. And that’s who I was always meant to be.

#HOLY SHIT #(more to be added on ao3 when i get the time to read it from the beginning)#BUT HOLY FRIKKIN SHIT DUDE

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