another otta headcanon is that at least a couple of her femmes dated her as a middle age crisis thing where otta is the metaphorical pool boy to their upper middle class recent divorcee
so they get to feel like cougars while also reasoning that otta is 100+ years older than them so it doesn't count
and i think otta fell for this more than once because these 25+ year old half-foot women are more likely to be sexually forward and otta thinks she has to be a dom top to be butch but actually she really craves being told what to do
if you're cringing at the genre conventions of the genre you are writing in then why the hell are you writing in it. either have something substantial to say about those conventions or shut the hell up! i will not cringe alongside you at superhero powers and spaceship battles and big eldritch worms and bone magic. i came to this story to SEE that shit and I don't appreciate it when an author tries to pretend they're above the very things they're selling themselves on
thinking more about authorial insecurity in fiction... it truly is frustrating to me when an author is clearly ashamed of their own premises, or is preemptively responding to imagined criticism. this is where you get a lot of unfunny humor about how stupid genre conventions are and how Unrealistic fantastical/speculative elements are. like ultimately the reason that authors undercut and overexplain their own works is because they're insecure about audience reaction and want to get ahead of the haters by proclaiming that they're Not Cringe. this will not work because I, the ultimate hater, will eventually find them and make one million posts about how much I despise irony poisoning
honestly you all are so annoying because motherhood IS interesting but fandom people are simultaneously obsessed with deciding that every woman has motherly qualities and completely disinterested in actually exploring motherhood as a role that informs a character. I do think exploring a character being a mother can be wildly interesting if they are canonically one, but because of misogyny, people just view motherhood as a totally unremarkable naturalized state that all women must inhabit!