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tantanpopo · 2 years
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DCS chapter 78 and 79 thoughts
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** Warning : These 2 chapters contains explicit 18+ content. 
Note: this is going to be weird writing my thoughts about sex scene without having any images in it lol. 
Euijoon and Ahjussi went home after their confession scene and do their business if you know what i meant  ಸ‿ಸ
Euijoon being all happy that they finally get together despite seeing Ahjussi getting road rage is the cutest thing xD. 
As they got back to their apartment, they start making out and Euijoon asks Ahjussi again to confide in him and tell him his past whenever Ahjussi is ready. I do hope that before the series end. Ahjussi will be able to tell Euijoon everything. Then they move to the bed. 
There’s one panel of Eujoon shirtless through Ahjussi’s POV and I was like .... “he’s so pretty” 
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Ahjussi then get all nervous that he has to pause himself. Euijoon laughs since this recall the first time/night they got together as a couple 3 years ago with both also get nervous. Which I think is very cute. I love it whenever Ahjussi shows vulnerability in front of Euijoon.
Ahjussi then confesses that he loves Euijoon more than what Euijoon thinks ; and ask Euijoon to be his last boyfriend and Euijoon happily says yes. 
AAAA ... these 2 are so cute I can’t ><. I am just so happy seeing Euijoon and Ahjussi being all happy together after all those years apart. 
As they were kissing , Euijoon put Ahjussi’s hands on his chest and express that he would love to .... do it with his lover  (ᇴ‿ฺᇴ). To which Ahjussi granted and tied him up with a neck tie *be careful what you wish for lol*
After ...f*ngering session, Euijoon then ... ahem ... proceed to touch Ahjussi’s slong and ask for it to be put in. Oh Euijoon you have grown to be more bold  (ᇴ‿ฺᇴ) I like this shade on you lol. May I say Euijoon is so sexy in this scene being all initiative ; with his hand and foot touching Ahjussi’s ??
I am assuming chapter 80 will be another sex scene kind of chapter. I am not sure how many more chapters until the end but I am kinda sad that this series that I like so much going to end soon T-T .... Until then, let’s enjoy reading our Euijoon and Ahjussi getting it on together  ( ͡⚆ ͜ʖ ͡⚆ )
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tantanpopo · 2 years
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Dcs chapter 77 thoughts
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THE MOMENT WE HAVE ALL BEEN WAITING IS HERE. All the angst we went through for this moment to come T^T
Euijoon was taken aback last chapter when Ahjussi said he has been waiting for Euijoon.  Ahjussi apologized for acting immaturely and that he can’t help acting this way when he sees Euijoon *hehe, ahjussi is simping for Euijoon so hard. And the simping continues as Ahjussi blushes not once, but twice in this chapter xD*
Euijoon got embarrassed, cut him off then drag him to the corner. Ahjussi blushes when Euijoon holds his hands. 
Euijoon wants to tell Ahjussi that based on his experience with his brother, Euijoon knows that Ahjussi is hiding something from him to not burden him. Ahjussi admits but says he still cannot tell Euijoon what it is. 
Euijoon then just proceed with understood and said that it’s fine if Ahjussi cannot tell him what it is. Eujoon admits that he doesn’t want to be apart from Ahjussi and go out with someone else. He confesses his feeling to Ahjussi while crying. That 
“No matter what happens or, what you did, I’ll tell you that it’s alright and I’ll forgive you... because that’s how much i want to keep you ... I hate myself for lacking the slightest sense of pride but I like you a lot”
I bawled reading this, Euijoon is such an angel and I cant help but stanning him T-T he’s been through so much and so forgiving , generous. 
Ahjussi then replies 
“I have never lived an ordinary life. During the days I’ve lived, I hated them more than anyone else. But the fact that you understood, I hated it even more... I’m sorry for running away and I like you..”
I think both of their confessions really reflect what each side is thinking. Euijoon now take courage and wanting to be with Ahjussi despite what time, and all generous. While Ahjussi knows that more than anyone else and feels like he doesn’t deserve it but cant help but loving Euijoon.
Ahjussi continues to apologizes but was cut off by Euijoon’s initiative kiss. And Ahjussi blushes again xD I just love it so much that Ahjussi blushes whenever Euijoon initiate something intimate like hold hands or kissing.
Euijoon then proposes for them to be a couple and Ahjussi said yes. They kiss under the snow. The scene was so well-drawn , I’m so in love  ヽ(♡‿♡)ノ
I giggled like crazy reading this chapter. I am just so happy for them now that they’re finally together. I still would love to see Ahjussi gather up courage and maybe talk about it with Euijoon some day. I am not sure how many more chapters are left with this season. But i also would love to see them as a couple for a few more chapters *cause these 2 are freaking adorable together* 
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tantanpopo · 2 years
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THIS CHAPTER OF DCS LEFT ME CRYING  😭 😭 😭 😭 😭
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tantanpopo · 2 years
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DCS Ch 75 and 76 thoughts *SPOILERS*
Combining the two chapters since the story is quite short in each of them 
In 75 ,Euijoon talks to his brother since our Euijoon bursts out crying when the brother called. I'm glad we got to see more of the brotherly interaction between these two cause they’re so sweet and wholesome 
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Euijoon's brother is an angel. Like look at this face , how can you not fall in love with him.
Euijoon explains his frustration. He’s upset at Ahjussi for deciding / judging Euijoon’s feelings own his own. (Refering to Ahjussi thinking that Euijoon wouldn’t wait for him but he is); which I think is a very valid reason. 
Ahjussi ... I know you’re a man of few words but you really need to learn to communicate with Euijoon and I hope this will be a good “lesson” for him. For losing the 3 years time with Euijoon >< 
His brother listening to all this and mentioned about the time when he woke up from the coma. How Euijoon never gives up hope of him waking up one day and how much he felt so loved at that moment. Then he proceeds to say that whatever Euijoon decides to do , he hopes Euijoon is happy. This brother is so sweet I can’t ><.
And thanks to what his brother said, Euijoon also finally understand that Ahjussi must be hiding something since he also hides his struggles to his brother. 
Proceeds to chapter 76 , Euijoon finally met up with his current bf. He realized that the bf has been cheating on him the whole time and just sent that text bc the girl he’s cheating on Eujoon with dumped him. I kinda expected it would be something like this lol ; though I still couldn’t help to hope that he was decent. But I think in term of not complicating the story, it’s better that way xD.
Euijoon decides that since the’re both aweful lovers to each other; they should break up. I do think that Euijoon will still break up with the bf regardless if the bf is cheating or not. From 75, I now understand that whatever Euijoon said to Ahjussi in 74 is just him being frustrated with Ahjussi on top of his guilt.
Then on his way to see Ahjussi , Euijoon was pounting and thinking to himself how he “want to be angry” at Ahjussi xD I love this tsundere color on Euijoon lol. He’s so adorable. 
He then arrives at the convenience store that’s in front of Ahjussi’s company building. However, as soon as he get of the taxi, he saw a familiar figure. YES, IT’S AHJUSSI SAYING HE’S BEEN WAITING FOR EUIJOON. 
He’s so five-heads , like htf does he knows where Euijoon is. I read some comments saying that what if Ahjussi plants those people that passed by where Euijoon broke up with his Ex lol. *REMEMBER WHEN AHJUSSI KNOW EUIJOON’S NEW ADRESS* Sure Ahjussi, Euijoon told him his new address in his sleep to you lol  ( ͝° ͜ʖ͡°). I think it would be cool (thou kinda creepy) that if Ahjussi actually  been silently following Euijoon’s move for the past 3 years. 
Anyways, I HONESTLY CAN’T WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER. They will finally have their official “REUNION” I think. I am anticipating happy reunion sex scene  ಸ‿ಸ . Not angsty reunion sex like last time lol 
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tantanpopo · 2 years
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ORGINIAL LINK FROM THE AUTHOR’S TWITTER : https://twitter.com/hey_945/status/1568960750726844416
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tantanpopo · 2 years
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is there any way to buy a physical copy of the manwha?? i wanna start collecting bl, and dangerous convenience store is my fav
Hi Anon,
The author , 945-nim , is preparing for a physical book from what I see on their twitter announcement. So I think more info will be released on how you can purchase in the future :)
You can follow them on twitter : @hey_945
Please support the author, they deserve all the love.
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tantanpopo · 2 years
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I'm so confused, isn't Euijoon's bf supposed to cheat and ignore him and that's why he was breaking up with him in the first place? I don't mind a bit of love triangle but one where Euijoon is pursued and treated right.
I agree with you Anon ! I too would love to have love triangle where Euijoon is pursued and treated right like you said.
About the bf cheating on EJ, he kind of let that slides because EJ just date the guy to forget Ahjussi in the first place. However, 2 wrong doesn't make a right. EJ cheating on him with AJ still makes EJ feels extremely guilty about it.
About the being ignored part, the bf mentioned in the text that he "has his reasons" of why he did that. So I think that might make Euijoon rethinks about the breakup (this contradict with Ahjussi ghosted him 3 years straight)
Now I think it might be bc of him trying to work harder and impress EJ , given he's younger (As I mentioned in my chap 74 review ). But we have to see in future chapters.
**Euijoon = EJ
**Ahjussi = AJ
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tantanpopo · 2 years
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DCS Chapter 74 thoughts *SPOILERS*
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Hands down this is probably one of my favorite chapter so far. 
I have been a bit on edge with the direction of the story is going , especially with the latest chapter (73) but chapter 74 came and untangled all the characters’ thoughts and event up until now. 
Warning: This chapter contains so much angst and heartbreak  ༼ಢ_ಢ༽
I recommend reading this chapter with some angsty kdrama music playing in the bg for maximum painful effect.
So the beginning of the chapter start with the bf finally hang up right when Ahjussi told Euijoon to put it on speaker. At this point, Euijoon is very upset at the situation. In the meanwhile, Ahjussi just realized that he ...f#$cked up. We finally received a text from the bf saying that he still loves Euijoon very much and has an excuse to why he has been ignoring Euijoon for the past month. 
This is interesting because I was suggesting a direction of the story where the current bf is actually in love with Euijoon and maybe care for him in my previous blog
Mind you, my theory and author-nim is not completely the same, just a tad similar. 
My guess is that the bf is trying to work hard and get into a good company (as one of Euijoon’s friend group mentioned in the chat in chapter 60. But we’ll see when he finally appears and find out his actual reason). 
At this point, Euijoon felts extremely guilty that’s it’s suffocating. Ahjussi then appears and asks Euijoon to get onto the car for him to take Euijoon home. Euijoon then got really mad and ask why did Ahjussi do it (make Euijoon pick up the bf’s call and put on speaker while they are .... having sex) 
But then Euijoon stops and says 
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“No ... In this situation , it’s me who is the worst”
He finally cries out saying he can’t break off the relationship properly with his current bf yet caught up in an affair with someone whose relationship is still uncertain with (Ahjussi). 
Also, why is Euijoon still so pretty even in his upset state ?  ╰(ɵ̥̥ ˑ̫ ɵ̥̥ ╰)
I am gonna repeat myself over and over that Euijoon deserves the world !!  
Then Ahjussi finally convinces Euijoon to get on the car so he can drive him home. On the way, Ahjussi asked what Euijoon meant when he said he hasn’t properly broken up with his bf yet. Euijoon explains that the break up was one-side from him, which means it’s not official. Then he plans to confess everything to the new bf and if the bf accepts his apology and forgive him, Euijoon will go back and do his best to be a good bf. 
I saw some people express frustration towards Euijoon , with his decision of leaving Ahjussi and going back to the current bf. And I honestly think that what Euijoon is doing is understandable. Euijoon feels tremendous guilt after reading the text from bf. He already feels guilty getting into this relationship just to fill the void that Ahjussi left. Sure it doesn’t make sense for him to go back to someone whom you do not love and the other person also barely putting effort into the relationship so far. However, Euijoon is someone who tries to act morally right. So he’s trying to make it right by confess about his affair with Ahjussi and if the bf forgive him , Euijoon will “atone” by being a good bf (despite not loving him). If not, they will break it off. Also, Euijoon is someone who yearns for love and loving relationship. He has spent 3 years wondering why Ahjussi left thinking if it’s something he did or if Ahjussi has stopped liking him. 
Seriously , Euijoon slanders need to stop T-T I know you all love Ahjussi but both are in the wrong and Euijoon do NOT deserve the hate
Ahjussi was ticked off by this and asked how can Euijoon can go back to someone who hasn’t been in contact with him for a while ? *see where this going v(・∀・*)*
Euijoon then explaining that the bf at least get back to him finally and then proceeds saying that the bf at least didn’t give up on the person whom he really likes. 
when I read this part, i can feel the tension that Ahjussi is feeling after hearing Euijoon says so.  I can also feel the frustration that Euijoon has toward himself / Ahjussi / and the situation.
Euijoon continues to refuse Ahjussi and say that they should not stop contacting with each other then he exits the car.
Ahjussi calls out
“Please wait Euijoon... I’ve never abandoned you. I have never once given up on you. I really want to be with you ...”
Which was cut off by Euijoon asking why didn’t he call Euijoon at least once. 
We then proceed to the flashback of the incidence 3 years ago. And Ahjussi finally says
“I didn’t think ... you’d wait for me. Eujoon-ah, I am just a gangster yet I fall in love with you. That’s what I have been thinking all this time. If you can accept being with a gangster like me, please stay with me ... Fuck... Please don’t leave ... Euijoon-ah”
And ... Euijoon left with visibly tears in his eyes
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*i decided to put their expressions parallels to each other to intensify the pain 
FUCK!!! CAN YOU HEAR ME CRYING TT____TT . Ahjussi , I am crying with you  (இ﹏இ`。). 
I can feel the pain and anguish from Ahjussi just calling Euijoon’s name... 
On top of it, Ahjussi’s inner dialogue is killing me
Leaving you is the price I have to pay. I have nothing left, but you. Can this excuse be anymore unreasonable ?
AAAA .. These lines are like daggers to my heart. 945-nim, you’re a fucking genius in writing heart-wrenching monologue. 
Ahjussi feels that he doesn’t deserve Euijoon’s love. Ahjussi has always been hating being in a gang forcefully ***curse you Cha Chaehyun ’dad (╯°□°)╯( ┻━┻ ***** He also hates how he’s slowly actually turning into a gangster himself . After seeing how scared Euijoon was 3 years ago , it really took a toll on him. He just didn’t run away for only Euijoon’s safety. He’s afraid to face Euijoon because he think he doesn’t deserve to be with Euijoon.  
I think this also explain with all the physical/sexual interaction from Ahjussi with Euijoon. He’s not good with words. He love Euijoon so much but whatever he says to Euijoon, he feels like it will just feel like an excuse to win Euijoon’s sympathy. Therefore, he can only show how he feels toward Euijoon through physical affection. 
Now who else also thinks that he does not deserve love ? That’s right, it’s Euijoon (chapter 65) 
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And this just breaks my heart. They had spent the past 3 years in pain , loneliness and both feel like they don’t deserve love/each other’s love and I just hope that they will realize that they are meant to be together soon (˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ ) 
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tantanpopo · 2 years
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do you think the boyfriend will be some big reveal? or will he remain nameless?
Hi anon and thank you for the question :)
Personally, I would like the bf to be a big reveal. Since I love a juicy love triangle drama and a big Euijoon stan, so I'd like seeing 2 men fighting over him
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Logically, I don't think so since the way he was introduced and written is really "side/nameless character". I think this bf is just an "obstacle" for joonie/ahjussi relationship in Season 3 before they can finally reunite :')
*though if the author decide to pull a reverse uno with the usual happy ending in BL and have them separated way then ... I'll be damned
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tantanpopo · 2 years
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Yeah .. I want the Euijoon and Geon Woo to have sex but right now it's not the time. I think I can accept the first one after Euijoon cut his finger but I am not liking the office one at the moment. They need to figure their messy situation out first. Euijoon knows that. He tries to be logical but being swayed by Geon Woo's stubbornness and rash/emotional actions (sex). Also, he can't really reason because the one who left is Geon Woo and not him. He's left in the dark and the only thing he knows clearly is his emotion and not why Geon Woo left him for 3 years T-T Their relationship has been ambiguous to Euijoon from the very start bc Geon Woo refuses to confine and trust Euijoon. He refuses to let that invisible wall down for Euijoon to enter in and now it’s a mess. So I get upset whenever I see Euijoon slander on twitter. 
Also, my title is a bit misleading xD the “love triangle” refers to the scenario that I came up with in my head where the new bf is actually nice and loves Euijoon and there for him for the past 3 years, which I’d love to see.  
DCS | Love triangle
The whole Euijoon having sex with Ahjussi while still in a relationship with the bf is causing some controversy among readers. I personally also prefer them to officially breakup before doing the deeds and having real talk / convo. But I also don’t think Euijoon deserve the hate for this. 
Now the one thing I like about this season is that I like the inner monologue of each main character a lot. We both know they still love each other a lot and I’m a softie when it comes to heart wrenching monologues   (*´-`*)
Now … This is a pitch I have with the current story line going so far. (This is not to discredit the work of 945-nim , but just something I have in my mind) 
I would like to see the bf being a nice person and a … decent bf. (Unlike in the manhwa so far)  I love a good love triangle and I think it would be interesting to read Euijoon having to deal between the old love rekindled (Ahjussi) and the kind-hearted new love interest (the bf). *IMAGINE ALL THE ANGSTY STORYLINE POSIBLITIES    ヾ(´▽`;)ゝ *
but yeah , that was just what I personally would like to read. I  still love author 945-nim’s work with all my heart. This is just what I think regarding “issue” of S3 storyline direction. (This blog is updated as of chapter 73). I still love DCS and I think it’s still one of the best BL manhwa out there. I am excited to continue reading the series till the end and hoping for a good ending for our Euijoon and Ahjussi
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tantanpopo · 2 years
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DCS Ch 72 & 73 thoughts *SPOILERS*
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I decided to combine 72 and 73 since nothing much happens in 72. 
Soooo....
After I read Ch71 , I already had a feeling that’s an office sex chapter gonna come up next ... I didn’t want to say since i was hoping the story doesn’t go in this direction .. but here we are   彡໒(⊙ᴗ⊙)७彡
In chap 72, it’s basically about Ahjussi making “lame excuses” to get to stay in the office with Euijoon. *I can’t with this old man lol *. But our poor Euijoon can’t really fight back against those excuse.
Ahjussi with his nape fetish strike again  (ᇴ‿ฺᇴ)....And obviously Euijoon is flustered from this. This leads to the spiderman kiss then a ... *ahem* intense 18+ session  ಸ‿ಸ . 
As much as I like reading the smutty chapter of these 2, I just don’t think it’s the right time (or place lol) in the story for it yet. 
The one thing I do enjoy is reading Euijoon’s monologue. From previous chapters, Euijoon shows that he tries really hard to follow his reasons and push Ahjussi away. 
The warmth your body gives me. And the words that you whisper in my ears with that husky voice of yours.
When I read this, I’m like ...
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I feel really bad for Euijoon. He wants to experience love despite his situation, then being abandoned by Ahjussi for 3 years and then tries to set things right. His heart finally craves in as Ahjussi keep being persistent. 
As they were .... doing the deed , the boyfriend decided to call. I swear this guy has the best timing lol. And Ahjussi decided to put it’s on speaker. 
Let him now what kind of guy makes you feel this horny
Now I am not a big fan of NTR but I find it kinda hot when seeing Ahjussi being all possessive like that lol. Yes yes I know, it’s not a very good enough of a reason. Don’t judge me . And this chapter ends there. At this point I kinda gave up on the logical solution/ resolve for these two and just try to “have fun” with the story. 
I’m excited to see what’s going to happen next in 74. I really hope Euijoon and the bf going to officially break up soon so Ahjussi can pursue Euijoon in peace 
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tantanpopo · 2 years
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DCS | Love triangle
The whole Euijoon having sex with Ahjussi while still in a relationship with the bf is causing some controversy among readers. I personally also prefer them to officially breakup before doing the deeds and having real talk / convo. But I also don’t think Euijoon deserve the hate for this. 
Now the one thing I like about this season is that I like the inner monologue of each main character a lot. We both know they still love each other a lot and I’m a softie when it comes to heart wrenching monologues   (*´-`*)
Now ... This is a pitch I have with the current story line going so far. (This is not to discredit the work of 945-nim , but just something I have in my mind) 
I would like to see the bf being a nice person and a ... decent bf. (Unlike in the manhwa so far)  I love a good love triangle and I think it would be interesting to read Euijoon having to deal between the old love rekindled (Ahjussi) and the kind-hearted new love interest (the bf). *IMAGINE ALL THE ANGSTY STORYLINE POSIBLITIES    ヾ(´▽`;)ゝ *
but yeah , that was just what I personally would like to read. I  still love author 945-nim’s work with all my heart. This is just what I think regarding “issue” of S3 storyline direction. (This blog is updated as of chapter 73). I still love DCS and I think it’s still one of the best BL manhwa out there. I am excited to continue reading the series till the end and hoping for a good ending for our Euijoon and Ahjussi
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tantanpopo · 2 years
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GIVEN | Why a huge part of the fandom is hung up on MafuYuki
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Time and time again, I've seen Given fans expressing that they wanted Yuki to be revived. I hear everyone's frustrations. I too have had similar thoughts cross my mind. But it has come to my realisation that there is a clear reason why so many people can't move on from MafuYuki so much. And it's all thanks to Kizu's brilliant storytelling.
The brilliance Kizu's perspective storytelling
Given is so brilliantly well written because we learn about the events, the characters and what's happening in the moment through each of the character's own PERSPECTIVES and VERSIONS of events. This means that we are getting a subjective view of what's happening.
The Subjective Lens of Romance
A very clear example is (and I don't take credit for this particular observation because I read it in this blogpost), all the romances are told through the perspectives of different characters. Hence, the atmosphere and the vibe of each romance story feels completely different to one another.
The first budding romance between Uenoyama and Mafuyu is told from the perspective of Uenoyama. This is Uenoyama's first love, so it feels dramatic, powerful, overwhelming. We often see imagery of explosions, galaxies and the earth revolving because to a teenager, first love really does feel like the craziest thing that has and ever will happen.
The romance between Ugetsu and Akihiko feels excruciating because both are terrible at communicate and self-sabotagers, and there is this vicious cycle of push and pull.
The one-sided love of Haruki, it feels longing and he feels defeated because he can't help but fall for Akihiko as a friend and as a lover.
The romance between Shiiragi and Shizu, feels calm and tender on the surface but with a sense of strong desire and turbulence underneath that was just ready to explode. Both felt a sense of loneliness and found comfort in each other after realising that they were there for each other all along.
Kizu is so good sweeping us off our feet, taking us into the world, the emotions of the characters, internalising them to the point where the lines between ourselves and the characters are blurred.
The Subjective Lens of Yuki
So now, let's talk about Yuki. I think it is really important for me to let you know that we actually discover everything we know about Yuki through the lens of Hiiragi, Shizu and Mafuyu. We are provided with a secondhand version of Yuki from each respective character, that are embedded with their own trauma and insecurities.
Yuki through Hiiragi's POV
We actually find out all the specifics of what happened with Yuki through Hiiragi's storytelling. Hiiragi has a very specific attitude towards Yuki. Hiiragi:
absolutely idolized Yuki
felt inferior to Yuki.
adored and admired the first love between Mafuyu and Yuki. We must understand that HE THINKS, they complete each other, they are the perfect image of first love.
felt like he couldn't enter the world of MafYuki, therefore, he felt frozen to by-stand and watch everything fall apart. He felt like he couldn't intrude.
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Here I think the keyword is
IDOLIZE.
Without knowing, the audience takes every word that Shiiragi says about Yuki as fact. But we have to remember, Shiiragi is grieving, Shiiragi is projecting this perfect image, impression, memory that he has of Yuki to us readers. I'm not saying that Yuki isn't brilliant or amazing, I'm just saying that the majority of what we know about Yuki are secondhand, subjective recounts of him from Hiiragi's perspective, from someone who absolutely adored Yuki and envied the love between Yuki and Mafuyu. In death, Shiiragi absolutely is gorifying Yuki.
Yuki through Shizu's POV
I think Shizu didn't necessarily glorified or idolized him to the same extent that Shiiragi did. But I think everytime he saw the look of admiration in Shiiragi's eyes for Yuki, that DEFINITELY hurt him. So in a way, Shizu also developed somewhat of an inferiority complex towards Yuki because he was hurt over how much attention Hiiragi directed towards Yuki and he felt the most left out of the friendship group.
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Yuki through Mafuyu's POV
We must remember that the subjective descriptions about the Yuki and MafuYuki's love DID NOT COME from Mafuyu himself. All we know from flashbacks are:
Mafuyu fell in love with Yuki who is "irreplaceable and is heartbroken."
Mafuyu is haunted by memories of Yuki following him everywhere.
Mafuyu always see Yuki appear in his dreams and nightmares, either reliving the day that he found Yuki's body or telling Mafuyu that he'll be waiting in the hole in Mafuyu's heart that may never fully heal.
The relationship was not perfect. Mafuyu mentions in the beach flashback scene in Chapter 11.5,
"You sound like you're lying"
when Yuki retracts his negative statement about the ocean and said that it's awesome. When I read the lines "irreplaceable and is heartbroken", we must also understand that it's what Mafuyu is feeling at that very moment (Chapter 16) when he's still in the first two stages of grief. Of course, he is going to feel like his first love and childhood best friend is irreplaceable! But in a way, every individual that has ever passed away are irreplaceable because everyone is unique. I think Mafuyu needs to rethink the way he approaches love and not project the qualities of Yuki onto Uenoyama. It is definitely a very common thing though, I remember when I had my first love, for several years I felt like I couldn't find anyone that matched up to her until one of my friends said to me:
"Why are you comparing them?"
So I absolutely relate that Mafuyu, whether he is aware of it or not, has been projecting and are drawing some comparisons between Yuki and Uenoyama.
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In conclusion...
So I think we need to be aware that we are being swept up in how Yuki is seen in the eyes of Shiiragi and Mafuyu predominantly, who are very much still processing grief and his death. Not only that, we've got to remember, Shiiragi and Mafuyu are dealing with their own trauma. Their recounting and impressions of Yuki are embedded with projections of their own insecurities as well. This is why Given is literally such a freaking masterpiece. Kizu consciously structured the story in this way so that we, just like all the characters, are also trapped in this grief. We too, feel the lasting impacts of losing someone that was and is still dearly loved and missed.
I think Shiiragi in the latest chapters (Chapter 39 - 42), is definitely slowly starting to come out of the idolising stage. I am unsure about Mafuyu but I am very keen to see their journey and I just want all of my Given babies to be happy!
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Masterlist of my Given Metas
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tantanpopo · 2 years
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DCS Ch71 thoughts *SPOILERS*
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*** NOTE : Ahjussi and Bum Geon Woo is used interchangeably. 
This chapter is again Ahjussi’s POV of the story but it’s told when him and Euijoon started meeting again after 3 long years. I must say I love reading his side of the story after already read Euijoon’s. Similar to the extras , it’s so well written and it really makes the audience understand more about his personalities and motivations of his actions. 
As he see Euijjon again the first time in 3 years , all this man can think about is “simping” over how pretty our Eui Joon is 
You. Compare to what I imagine everyday, you look much prettier in person
I am such a sucker whenever Geon Woo compliments or thinks how pretty Eui Joon is. My heart just melts every time he says/think so. *Cause let’s face it , he IS really pretty  (⁄ ⁄>⁄ ▽ ⁄<⁄ ⁄)*
“I wonder if I look aweful” . It’s my first time thinking about such trivial things like that
Ahjussi is not type of person to care for such trivial thing , so I think  this is a really nice touch. Only our boy can make Ahjussi easilly flustered, emotionally like this  *Eui Joon has this man completely wrapped around his fingers and he doesn’t even realize it lol  ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ *
I guess Cha Chaehyung decides to tell Geon Woo about their reunion and that make Geon Woo hurry wanting to see Eui Joon. Nice job Chachehyng, for kind of reuniting them together xD .Then we see Geon Woo’s blushing and think how pretty Euijoon is again. *Man is down badddddd  („ಡωಡ„)* 
Throughout their interactions since they saw each other again, Ahjussi tries his best to stay calm. Especially when Eui Joon tries to keep their distance. As the story gets revealed from both side, it shows that Eui Joon and Ahjussi both yearning for each other. From Eui Joon feel so comfortable after just talking for a few minute that he has to think logically and stops himself from sinking in further; to Ahjussi trying to win Eui Joon back while staying calm around him.  Then when Ahjussi finally saw Euijoon crying , HE FINALLY SNAPPED !!  He finally realized that how Eui Joon has been hurting because of him. His inner dialogue also show that he thinks of Eui Joon every day. *CAN THIS GET ANY MORE ANGTSY  / ANGSTIER (?)  (TдT) ?!!! *
Back to the current timeline, he finally explains how he decides to help Chae Hyung and not want to involve Eui Joon for his safety. 
I just love the writing of Ahjussi’s inner monologue in this series. It shows how he really love and care for Eujoon but can’t because of his situation. He really doesnt want to “beg” for Eujoon’s forgiveness and understanding of the situation. I would like to think it’s because he know Euijoon WILL forgive him. He knows Eujoon is very kind-hearted and will understand if he ever tell Euijoon the full story. 
After they’re done and Ahjussi about to leave , Eujoon mentioned how wrong it is that they slept with each other when he’s not officially breaking up with his current bf yet. (We later realize that it was a spam message and the bf still ghosting him). Bruh, I would throw sandals at the bf for been treating Euijoon like crap  (┛ಠДಠ)┛彡┻━┻ 
He also proposed that they should not meet anymore *cries  ( ´〒^〒`) . Euijoon is trying his best to do the right thing and that him and ahjussi’s relationship is really messy right now and would not want to go down that road. This is why I love Euijoon so much. He yearns for love and want to be in a loving relationship with Ahjussi but know it is difficult to do so and try to be logical about it. 
The next day, Euijoon decides to break up with the current bf through text since he can’t get a hold of him even though he wants to break up in person instead *my boi is so mature * 
And then **TEN TEN TEN ** , Ahjussi calls saying that he’s in front of Euijoon’s company. It’s snowing right now and the scenery just helps elevates the mood of the next few panels. He then asked Euijoon if he can visit Euijoon’s work building to cover from the snow. Euijoon firmly rejects him again. 
At this point in the story, to me , Ahjussi is a man who can said the most unexpected romantic lines. And this is no exception, he then proceeds saying 
“I am not good at driving .... especially on the days that it’s snowing heavily”
We all know you’re just making excuse right now ahjussi, we can see right through you  (´⌣`ʃƪ) . I know that line is just an excuse but somehow it feels really romantic to me with how author-nim compose the panels and set up with scenary with the snow flying down. 
That’s it for this chapter. Will Euijoon let Ahjussi inside or not ? This season will be about Ahjussi trying to win Euijoon back , and I am here to see more of Ahjussi simping over Euijoon  (♡´౪`♡) I am also excited to see how Euijoon going to react to all of these “lame” excuses that Ahjussi keeps making  (๑ˊ͈ ॢꇴ ˋ͈)〜♡॰ॱ
Boi I just realized how long this review has been. If you stick reading till the end, bravo and thank you so much  (*^^*)♡. Until next week 
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tantanpopo · 2 years
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tantanpopo · 2 years
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HANDSOME BOY, ILY
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tantanpopo · 2 years
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‘even if, you erase everything about me
you will still remain
as the only meaning of my life.’
sobbing. he’s so in love.
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