talkingtomyself805

[talkingtomyself805]

The light

In the dark i could see her smile. Beneath her persona she was bittersweet. She took my heart and bit it with her florescent teeth.

Pretty Eyes with meaning behind them. Don't know why I've grown to despise them. She used to look at me with passion. Now she sees the tension. I could see it in her facial expressions. It starts to get depressin.

[talkingtomyself805]

?'s

Questions lead to answers. Answers lead to pain.

[talkingtomyself805]

Late night calls

Its late night and i dread this call. I have to retrieve a body. Im not talking to a hotty. The freezer is cold. It smells like sadness. No light , no music, no blankets. Just Dark and cold. Its the end for us all

[talkingtomyself805]

I called for help but nobody heard. Maybe ill fly away just like a bird. Or maybe ill rot in the ground just like a turd. One thing is forsure my actions will be absurd.

[talkingtomyself805]

Im falling apart

Nothing seems enjoyable. Stress consumes me. Everytime i crawl out this hole I get put back in. The worst part is thats its my fault. My life feels like its coming to a hault. I don't what happens here. I hope that happiness is near. I reach out to all of you. But most of you have no clue. How can i blame you. Im nobody to most but a few.

[talkingtomyself805]

Heart

Im in my feelings. I need some emotional healing. I feel less than my worth. Heart ripped more than a vagina during birth. Counting all my days on this earth. Im not gonna end up under the turf.

[talkingtomyself805]

[talkingtomyself805]

Went to bed thinking of you. Woke up feeling blue. I really dont have a reason but im looking for a clue. Something you might say could be my que. Gonna isolate till the day i find... my boo.

[talkingtomyself805]

How long does it take to reach your boiling point. I try to sit back and smoke a joint but sometimes the pain wont disappear. I've lived most of my life in fear.

[talkingtomyself805]

Wednesday

So many bills. Feels like im climbing up the tallest hills. At the the top im sure there is hot meals. But time kills and the pressure is too real.

[talkingtomyself805]

[talkingtomyself805]

Thursday Thots....

A model to the youth. What the fuck im supposed to do. I got no fucking clue. Why you on my back pressing me like that? Young ass kid with the world on his shoulders. The house is getting colder.

No money coming in how the fuck we gonna eat. Schools comin up. Is it clothes or food? Holes in our souls i aint talkin bout our shoes. Drugs all in his head. This motherfucker wants us dead. He hears demons. I see the Devil.

Why you leave mom in the rain? She had to walk home with pain in her heart. She looks at you with distain. How you do that to me? You live here for free! He hit in the face. Sit and watched my own pops destroy our place. Shit is sad. Ive never been so mad. Trynna get the glock so i could kill my own Dad.

One day he went to work but never came back. Couple months later he was high on crack. Biggest betrayal in my life was from own dad. I always wonder bout the life i wish we couldve had. Livin in the projects, roaches in our clostes. No dollar in our pockets. Checks dont clear. Mom answers the phone said she dont live here.

[talkingtomyself805]

I’m masking my emotions, okay?

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[talkingtomyself805]

Wednesday Afternoon

Lust and Love are two different things. How can I control the lust when I love it. Its a must to find someone with equal amount of trust. Looking for a sign from above but all they see down here is dust. For now I will shove my feelings downward so I could make it just.

[talkingtomyself805]

Tuesday Night Thots. pt. 1

Got a bunch of stuff for my house but it doesn't feel like home. Put crosses on my walls and it doesn't feel holy. Posters all around me so I don't feel so lonely. What does it take to make Home? Why do I have this stuff if im just alone?

[talkingtomyself805]

[talkingtomyself805]