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#youll get to talk in a group + youll meet someone new + youll reunite with someone unexpected
spungolden · 3 months
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* me, who doesnt d tarot but been pullling lately bc been feeling,,,, stuff in the house also me: surprised when all of it starts happening as in things i cant placebo or think myself into happens
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prissypickle · 5 years
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I did it
One year ago today I finished highschool. One year ago today I finished the toughest journeys of all times. Highschool was probably one of the worst experiences of my life. There was so many people who ruined it but there was so many people who made it better for me. My freshman year I attempted suicide and was admitted to a mental hospital and and no school wanted to take me in. At the time Fir Ridge Campus didn’t take in freshman. So I had no choice but to drop out. David Douglas straight up told me that I couldnt go there. I had too many problems and They couldn’t give me an education. In spring of my freshman year I enrolled in an online school called metro east web academy. Of course with all my mental health issues I had no motivation to do any of it. In the end I only got one credit for it. And that was for creative writing. I’m with ICTS which is where people come outd to your house three times a week for therapy. So I was with them for six months. It was hard saying goodbye. But then I went yo seeing a therapist once a week. I was still cutting often. But back to my schooling, I didn’t do anything and my mom was so pissed at the david doglas school district because the refused to put me in a school and finally she wrote a three page nasty letter saying how I needed to be in a school and thats how I got to fir ridge.
My freshman year I was so scared. I couldn’t tell you how scared I was. I didn’t go to school. I was fucked up in the head, cutting and I didn’t know anyone. So I didn’t really talk to anyone on my first day. But within a few days I met a small group of friends that I could relate to. Which was great. The next best thing was that there was a school counselor and a therapist that came to the school. So on top of going to seeing a therapist once a week I went to see him once a week. He was from Trillium services. He was a great therapist. I saw him from 45 minutes to an hour. My school counselor was mamed Michael and he was probably the best counselor anyone could ask for. He understood me. When I needed my space he let me sit in the office or library and do my work. When I had my mental break downs he gave me a quiet space. He was amazing. I have terrible anxiety with loud noises and whenever we had a firedrill I would cry and have a panic attack when there was he warned me and brought me to the office telling me when so I wasnt as afraid. As I said. He was the best school counselor anyone could ask for.
I had this friend. Her name was Iris. I cared for her so so much she was my first friend I made in middle school and she went to a diffent school but she had problems at the time and so she was looking into my school and I was thrilled. But before ahe came she also had issues and so she went to a rehab place. I called her family every day to see how she was doing. I sent flowers and cards because well, wouldn’t a best friend do that? When she got out she started at Fir Ridge Campus a bit later. I was so happy we reunited again. We started having sleep overs and everything. Okay? But one time during a sleepover she stole her parents credit card and bought something, which was a peircing kit and I had no idea so she came to my house when it was delivered and took it before I was home. I’ll also mention around two years ago she stole my ipod. But anyway so this happened and it happened once more but with tea but ahe sent it to her house instead of mine. So her mom was like “you arent ever allowed to see her again” blaming me for her daughter peircing herself. That was the hardest thing for me to hear because she was my best friend. Or so I thought she was. I believe this was all happening during my Junior year or late sophomore I cant remember it was so hectic. Ill come back to this bitch a little bit later.
But my Junior year I did this amazing thing called camp pheniox. That was the second the best and worst part of highschool. Its a two day overnight camp plus 4 weeks of after care. During the two nights you broke yourself down talking about the horrible things in life and at the end you are rebuilding yourself and raising up into a pheniox. During the process you did multiple activites which were happy, sad and heartbreaking realizing how fucked up and broken you were on the inside. One of the days you clumb a tree and tell everyone what you committ to. And I said I committ to my family and my support system. And then you had to walk on a tightrope with another person and jump when you couldnt do it anymore. And the other classmates are completely in control of the rope and your harness. Then the second activity we did was get in a harness and go up and your classmates pull you up until you say stop. Basically a gaiant swing okay. So I was letting go past teachers which I will get on explaining to more. And then letting in good teachers and then you yank it and I did a 90 foot free fall and holy shit was that fun. As i said it was the best and wors part of it because i landed up in teen intensive outpatient because I was cutting and I was extremely depressed.
But back to the teacher thing. There was a history teacher her name was Karen and she was a bitch to me. She hated me. And She KNEW i struggled with anxiety and she KNEW that I hated being with loud people and so I always needed to go to the office to see a counselor and I always finished up my work at home. And finally she was like you have to go to detention to finish this. And so Im in the office complete sobbing and my council waves it off. And other time with her was when my counselor talked to her about it she didnt talk to me for 3 DAYS like seriously she was so immature. Then When I came back from thr weekend she didnt call on anyone else but me. Then at the end of the week there was a new seating chart and I came in late because I was talking yo the trillium therapist okay and she shows me my seat and Im calm and I say no. And shes like yes. And I calmly explain to her why I cant go sit next to him because be gave me anxiety. And then she PROCEEDS to yell at me infront of the whole class who is now stairing at me and Im completely crying now infront of the class go to the principals office to fucking write me a refferl because i was arguing with her. Which the princapal immediately threw it out. The princapal at the time was absolutely amazing. She took me out on the track as I cried and walked with me.
So my junior year is happening and I went to camp pheniox and outdoor school it was great okay. So I went to outdoor school for my third session and I broke my ankle and had to stay home for a week and you remember this Iris girl who is my best friend??? Well not anymore. When I was away at outdoor school where I couldn’t DEFEND myself she went to the counselor and said. That I raped her and drugged her with majauana. And In like balling my eyes out because Im so fucking confused and why she did that. And so the counselor literally asked if I did it and Im like what the fuck do you really think I did it. And Im like crying at her because Im so upset. Like who in the right mind would accuse someone of rape. I mean I work with children. I was a swim instructor at the time. If she went to the police I could’ve been arrested and fired from my job which she didnt go because she knew she was a lying skank ass bitch. Also they couldve drug tested me because I wasnt even smoking at the time! And so Im in the office and my counselor is like “what are you feeling?” And I littlerly upfront say” I want to punch this bitch in the face,” she she looked at me “you cant do that” and Im like “no shit I cant do it. I want to but tgat doesnt mean I am going to.” And she sighs like after and hour of fuming she tells me Im not allowed to tell ANYONE and Im like fine whatever.
But I go to my momma jill and tell her and I like an crying to her and shes just holding me. But seriously then the vice principal calls me in during third period to talk more about what happened ALSO i had a freaking alliby because I was at fucking teen Intensive outpaitent during the time she accused me! Basically it was a whole clusterfuck
. It got 100% worse when there was an assembly and youll never guess who was running it the skank ass Iris. So she started talking about rape. And then she says “someone here raped me” and then she looked over at me. I kid you not. And my dad was there and he stood up and I cant remember exactly what he said but it was along the lines of “you shouldnt accuse anyone of rape either,” he said or something like that Im to busy crying and my teacher holding my hand. Finally my dad comes over to me and says were leaving. So my worst fear now the whole school knows that Iris accused me of rape and drugging her. So im literally in the gym having the WORST mental breakdown of my life and I mean screaming at the too of my lungs dropping to the knees hitting the floor. There was the security guy and Joey one of the teachers along with the princapal and vice principal trying to calm me down. And my dads crying because hes upset because of what Iris had said. And they told me to stay home for a few days until I could calm down.
So I came bac the following monday. I was so depressed I wanted to die. I almost had another suicide attempt but I thought about Taylor Swift and how I would never get t meet her and that just made me hold onto life just a little bit longer. So by the end of the year it was time for prom and so I was nominated for.... you guessed it prom court equivalent to prom princess/prince and can you guesd who was nominated too? That bitch Iris. So we were BOTH up against each other and trust me I was NOT going to let her win. So I baked my ass off and probably made over 200 cupcakes and fed them to the entire school and when I was time for prom. I won. I won prom princess. That was the best night of my entire life. My entire highschool carrer I felt normal. Everything was perfect
. Soon my Junior year ended. And summer came and went and my Senior yesr started. I only needed 1 credit to graduate .5 government .5 global studies. So I took government first which I got like knocked down a ton because i refused to do presentations because i hate speaking infront of a class but I still passed with a A. Then global studies I REFUSED to take with Karen again. So I did 5 at least 250 page packets in one quarter. And I still graduated early two quarters early. I started school my sophomore year because they didnt count it as a freshman and ended my senior year. I worked my ass off. And I graduated in 2 1/2 years. I graduated. I did it. I made it. Evern after a suicide attempt. Witnessing my mom attempt suicide my sophmore year, Iris accusing me of rape. All of that and I still graduated and I was second in class too. I’ve never been more proud of myself in my entire life. I didnt think id ever make it here. I thought in 2014 I was going to die. But I didnt. I’m still here. Alive and succeeding in life. Im a caregiver now. I’m getting my CNA in July. I made it. I did it.
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caredogstips · 7 years
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5 Path To Celebrate Your Birthday Instead Of Having A Dinner
For someone who has perfected the artwork of accumulating a couple of good friends throughout different stages of her life, the idea of a big birthday dinner is just plainstressful to me.
If your friend group isnt comprised of the same five or six people that meet up at MacLarens andCentral Perk on the reg, it can be daunting to set up acelebratory snack thatincludes all of your pals.
What if no one depicts? What if they dont all get along? What if no one tells me I have spinach in my teeth?
Even if you dont instantly conjure up doomsday scenarios when “ve been thinking about” a birthday dinner, it mightbe a welcomechange toshake things up a bit.
So before your next birthday, consider these five alternatives to the usual birthday dinner TAGEND
Have a drop in at a enjoyable location.
Round up got a couple of your very best pals, and lay out clique at the chill, brand-new brewery or arcade that just opened.
You could also stake out some prime real estate at your favorite park and bring along some merriment, inexpensive works, like a bean luggage toss. This room, you can expanding the invite to whomever you require, and they can come at their leisure.
Since your besties will already be with you, you wont be accentuating over when the others show up. Just be sure to include BYO-whatever on the invite, so youre not stuck lugging around all the goods.
Utilizean event already happening near you.
Is there a cool music or food festival going on around the same epoch as your birthday? Forward the info along to your best friend, and have them connect you there, as you toastto aging as fine as the award-winning blood-red theyre helping at the Catalina Wine Mixer!
Why waste time stressing over proposes when you dont have to? Plus, its a great opportunity to try something new and explore the different areas around where you live. Who announces age-old pups cant learn new tricks?
Pare it down to family merely( at least for one nighttime ).
Remove the stress of a client schedule by remaining it to the OGs in their own lives. Im sure the baker of the fam will be more than happy to provide the confections for your celebration.
Get back to your springs, flip through some old photo books and dig out the family videos. Good reminiscences and a few shrieks are the only presents youll need.
If your genetic pedigree isnt all that open, Im sure the friends youve promoted to pedigree will be there for you too.
Reunite with an old friend for dinner.
I might technically be cracking the birthday dinner suspension here, but I think we can make an exception for a reunion with one or two old-fashioned pals.
Birthdays are a good time for self-reflection, and thumping up an old-time recur with person you havent seen in a while are liable to be exactly the refresh youre looking for.
Put aside the emphasized that come with adulthood for one nighttime, and remember about the times when best available present you could get was a Teen Beat mag with the Backstreet Boys on the cover.
Treat yourself to a me day.
Take the time to acknowledgeall that youve accomplished inthelast year and revel a little.
Im sure you can talk a acquaintance into joining you, if thats your situation, but dont be afraid to go solo, either. Alone time is hard to come by, and you should relish it when you get the chance.
Whether your notion of a splurgeis shoppingoff the permission rack or taking in a double feature starring the dreamboat of your selection looking at you, Bradley Cooper simply go out and experience the day nonetheless you want to.
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