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howsit-going-toend · 7 years

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What Do YOU Want? Pt. 4

A Kwon Jiyong series ft. Kim Jiwon

Genre: Angst/Fluff

Word count: 2,700+

Summary: The most important person in the world to you can appear most often when you least expect it. But through everything, you can’t forget about you and your own happiness. Who are you happy with? Who is the best for you?

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 ... Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10

You were frozen, listening to the grown men shout at each other. Their voices were muffled and your conscience could not make itself loud enough for you to know whether you should lean an ear directly to the door, walk in and interrupt their yelling, or just walk away altogether.

Reluctantly, you decided on the first option and steadied your breathing enough to gently rest your face against the large double doors leading to Yang’s office. Jiyong was just on the other side of those doors; his body was closer to you than it had been in nearly four months and your heart couldn’t begin to process it. It was difficult to control its rate as you listened to his voice clearly for the first time in so long. There was also no controlling your eyes as they widened upon realizing what they were talking about.

You.

“What did you expect me to do, GD, hmm? Let her perform while you drove yourself insane, obsessing over her the whole night? I knew I couldn’t have you perform under those conditions. It was too much of a risk!”

It wasn’t often that Yang yelled and it was even less often that he yelled at Jiyong. You could probably count on one hand the amount of times you’d ever heard the two of them yelling at one another throughout the entire 3 years that you’ve known him. They were two of the most stubborn and strongest minded people you’ve ever met and hearing them raise their voices towards each other could fill a room with the absolute thickest tension. You could feel it just by being on the other side of those doors, and your spine tingled knowing you were the reason for such a rare moment.

“I’m not a teenage boy; I’m a professional performer. We both are. We would have been completely fine but you refuse to acknowledge that. Did you know I was heartbroken that entire night and obsessed over the thought of her anyway? No, you couldn’t tell now could you? Because I know how to put on a goddamn show despite what I might be going through.”

“You don’t know that. I know you. It would have been so much worse had she been there. The show went fine and nothing else was effected by her absence. Everyone got through it just fine. Get over it.” Yang’s words were like venom and if you weren’t able to hear everything through the doors so clearly, you would have sworn he spit on the ground in front of Jiyong as he said his last sentence.

“YG’s performances that night wouldn’t have existed without her! She works just as hard as the rest of us here and she deserved that stage!”

“I refuse to be spoken to like this from you. I’m not discussing this any further. You may go back to work in the studio.” With the sound of papers shuffling against a desk, you didn’t have to be in that room to know that Jiyong no longer held Yang’s attention.

The sound of quick footsteps approaching still caught you off guard as you removed your face from the doors and drew a few paces back just in time for Jiyong’s exit. He pushed forcefully through both doors and immediately stopped as his eyes locked on you standing before him.

There he was: mouth agape and eyes widened in disbelief as if you were a ghost; an apparition of the former life he once cherished. He wore a dark green flannel, with blue jeans rolled at the ankles, above his favorite pair of black Vans. His jet black hair was disheveled from running his fingers through it over and over again, as he has always done whenever he’s frustrated. He held a black beanie tightly in both of his hands. The large double doors to the office slammed shut behind him and you flinched at the sharp sound while Jiyong’s gaze never left your face.

“Y/N…” He muttered, barely moving his lips as he still couldn’t believe you were truly there in front of him. He paused and looked down as he ran a hand across his face and shook his shoulders in order to pull himself back to reality. “How. Uh. How much of that did you hear?”

“Enough.” That’s all you could get out. You weren’t prepared to see him today and you definitely weren’t prepared to hear everything you just heard. Remembering what you originally came there for, you quickly excused yourself. “Give me a minute. This won’t take long.”

He watched in confusion as you marched past him to open the doors to Yang’s office.

“Y/N, wait! What are you doing?” It took every ounce of energy to ignore Jiyong’s voice that fell to a whisper as you got further from him and closer to Yang’s desk.

You saw the feared CEO; his gaze fixed on a stack of papers in front of him, completely unphased by the sound of footsteps coming closer on the tiled floor.

“I told you I’m through discussing this. I can’t go back in time. What do you want from me GD, I - oh Y/N, well, here you are. I’m assuming you heard most of our discussion just now and know that whatever you’re wanting to say has already been said.” He’d lifted his eyes from the papers long enough to realize you weren’t Jiyong coming back for a last word. Instead he placed a fist under his chin as he leaned on the desk towards you with fake interest.

“Not quite everything; I quit.”

You said the words with no hesitation and the utmost confidence, eyes locked on his. His eyebrows rose in surprise, as he lifted himself and sat back in his chair. With a long sigh, he rubbed his eyes and before he began to say something, you continued.

“This isn’t up for negotiation. I respect you and always have, Yang Hyun Suk. It is clear to me now that the respect has never been mutual and I have invested too much of my own blood, sweat, and tears into this company to let it carry on any further. Consider this my two week notice.” As you spoke the words, a loud crash was heard from the outside hallway.

He just stared at you with wide eyes and a hand propped up on the arm of the desk chair, holding his face. You didn’t give him any more of your time as you turned on your heels and exited the room. The both of you knew there was nothing more to be said.

As you opened the door, you found one of the decorative vases outside of Yang’s office shattered on the ground away from its original place. It was as if someone had swung their arm and flung the piece across the hall. You looked left and right and noticed that Jiyong was no longer in sight.

He must have been listening and heard you announce your decision.

You let an exasperated sigh leave your lips. You had been genuinely ready to speak to him and hoped that he wouldn’t allow his own frustrations to get the best of him. Again. Hearing him speak to Yang had made you begin to think differently of how he’d been feeling this whole time. He was heartbroken that entire night; just like you had been… There was no describing the feeling that came over you upon hearing that news. Maybe he’d put the thought and effort into everything you’d told him about near the end of your relationship like you’d been wanting him to.

You paced in front of the elevator doors as you awaited your trip to the ground floor. You reached for your phone, found Jiyong on your recent call list and tapped his name. You called him three times and got sent to voicemail after the second or third ring each time. He was ignoring you.

What is it about a break up that brings about such cat-and-mouse games? Why must you torment yourselves with wondering what the other person is thinking, but feeling as though you have no place to contact them? Why must there consistently be one of you giving space to the other person who is wanting the exact opposite. With a deep breath, you walked into the elevator and accepted that you probably wouldn’t be hearing from Jiyong for the rest of the day.

It was in the silence of the elevator that everything truly began to set in. Your heart ached from how much you’d missed his gaze, but it hurt more that the moment had passed right before your eyes. You knew you weren’t over him, but you didn’t think that seeing him again would do this to you. Just like that, he was gone again. You brought a hand to your chest and inhaled sharply once the familiar ding resonated within the confined space. It was a true battle to control the tears that wanted so desperately to fall from your eyes.

When the following day had come and gone without a shred of effort at contact from Jiyong, you swallowed back the lump in your throat, knowing he was probably really angry with you and just didn’t want to speak any time soon. But when the entire week passed without a word, you felt the glimpse of hope you’d gotten from looking into his eyes begin to dissipate.

More days passed and before you knew it, your last day of YG had come. This was it: he was going to let you walk away again.

The day had been filled with tears of all kinds, and enough hugs to get you through the next year and a half. But there wasn’t anything that made your heart swell more than the members of iKon who had arranged a surprise for you in the cafeteria at the end of the day.

Bobby had run into the dance studio abruptly, telling you in a serious tone “Y/N! You need to come with me! I think Donghyuk broke his ankle and you’re the only one I could think of to help us right now. Come on!” You matched your face with the concern that covered Bobby’s and followed him as you both rushed through the hallways and up the stairwell. As he led you closer to the cafeteria, Bobby slowed to a walk and turned to look at you with a big smile. Your face twisted in confusion as he reached out and grabbed your hand while the two of you turned the corner into the YG cafeteria.

“Wait, what are you doing? Where’s Donghyuk? We need to get to h…”

“SURPRISE!!!” the other members yelled in unison as they appeared in front of the tables with a cake and a sign that said “We love you Y/N! We’ll miss you!”

You brought your hands to cover your face as you immediately started crying. “Yah! You guys, what are you doing!” you mumbled in between your fingers. Without looking, you extended an arm and shoved Bobby’s shoulder for worrying you. “I should break your ankle for making me think Donghyuk broke his!” He laughed and pulled you in for a hug, while the other boys followed and wrapped you in a mass of arms.

You sat and ate cake with them for the next hour, while you all reminisced through the memories you’d made together just in the past year. You used to think of them as your children, but they’d actually become more like brothers. At a time in your life that had been filled with such heartbreak, knowing that you had them truly made you happy.

You stood up at the head of the table to address them all before you each returned to your days. “Even though I’ll be solely teaching classes at my dance studio from now on, I will always miss working with you guys the most. Keep making me proud and visit me whenever, all right? I love you all! iKon, fighting!” The seven of them erupted in cheers as you all bowed to one another. You thanked them one last time for the amazing surprise and turned to head back to the studio to grab your stuff.

“Y/N! Wait up!” Bobby had parted from the other members and walked towards you while the rest of them headed in the opposite direction.

“Ah, well if it isn’t the liar himself!” You teased, while he laughed and pretended to flinch at your words.

“Before you go, we’ve got to make a deal, ok?” His face was suddenly serious and didn’t break eye contact while he waited for your nod of agreement.

“Mino, B.I., Jinhwan, and I usually go out for food or drinks when we don’t have any schedule issues during the week. Since you’ve gone out with us plenty of times before, we wanted to see if you’d join us during our weekly tradition. That way we know we’ll still have a guaranteed time to see you, you know?”

You smiled ear to ear at his touching offer and agreed enthusiastically. “Of course! I’ll miss you guys too much if I can’t see you on a regular basis all of a sudden. I’m so down. Just hit me up whenever you arrange anything. Cool?”

Bobby clapped a hand to his fist with a big grin on his face as he bowed his head. “Sweet, sounds great.” He tapped the brim of his snapback to you as he turned around and jogged in the direction that the other 6 boys went. “I’ll text you!” he yelled over his shoulder, and just then as you held up a thumb you remembered something: you’d never returned to those texts from the night of the MAMA’s.

Well I’m awful.

You reached for your phone and felt your cheeks immediately flush once you’d opened your conversation with Bobby.

BB: You! We wanted to see you before the show for a group pic! Where you at?

BB: Assuming you’re too busy getting ready. We’re not trying to bug you oh great choreographer!

BB: Well that felt awesome. Did it look awesome? Cuz, we’re looking for you to tell us how awesome we are.

BB: My name’s Bobby and I miss Y/N wahhhhhh

BB: I wish I was as kool as Y/N but I’m justa dumb bunnie

BB: I talk about Y/N allllll theeeee tiiiiime and swear I’m her fav member

BB: My name’s Bobby and I also smell like dirty socks after I get off stage

BB: Y/N srsly where r u I miss u

BB: Shit, Jinhwan and Chanwoo snagged my phone after we found out what happened…that wasn’t me, pleaaase believe me haha…

These guys really were hilarious and you felt so lucky to know them. Maybe Bobby was your favorite member but he was also the one whom you’d grown the closest to so you could picture him actually saying some of these things. He really was a silly bunny, just like their fans liked to call him. You found yourself rereading the messages while you packed all your things from the studio and began to head out and end your final day as an employee of YG Entertainment.

You put your phone back in your pocket as you walked through the hall of the first floor, taking the time to actually admire all the art and awards on the walls. To say this moment was bittersweet would be a drastic understatement.

With the front doors in sight, you took a deep breath. “Well, this is it.” As you reached for one of the handles, a familiar voice by the front stairwell caught your attention.

“Y/N. Leaving so soon?” You turned unenthusiastically; knowing the voice did not belong to the person you’d hope it would and looked Yang in the eye.

“Well. It seems my time here is over.” You spoke shortly; cautious for what he was about to say.

“Mmm. Indeed. Y/N, I want you to know something. At the end of the day, no matter what you or anyone else believes: I respect what you do. I know you’ll do well with whatever opportunities come your way. I’m sure we’ll see each other again in the future.” He ended his address with a bow.

You were so caught off guard by the response that you couldn’t say anything. All you could do was bow in return. He nodded his head and ascended up the stairwell, while you turned back to the doors in disbelief.

You let out a sigh and stood there for a minute more, waiting for a moment you knew would never come. As you took one last look back at the empty hallway and saw no one coming, you pushed through the doors and left the only place that held any last ties between you and Kwon Jiyong.

#g dragon scenarios #g dragon #g dragon angst #bigbang scenarios #kpop scenarios

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