#you just dont bring people into your house if you arent gonna feed them

[rxttenfish]

to be fair i don’t believe the inhospitality thing is about whiteness specifically*, just because of the existence of “southern hospitality”

*i am aware that this is very europe-centric discussion and this is an entirely different continent

#all the care guide says is 'biomass' #legit ive never HEARD of this before #you cannot go into someones house here for 5 minutes without being offered food and drink #it doesnt even matter if theyre a plumber or someone you hired either #you offer them something to eat and drink #its actually always irritated me all my life #just because i have Food Issues and being repeatedly offered after i said no #can come off as inconsiderate and rude #but like. i dont mind the initial offering. #like fuckin #heres the thing about ''southern hospitality'': it doesnt even mean we like you #but you still have to be treated nicely and as a guest #we'll just shittalk you after you've left #and it is white as hell around here #you just dont bring people into your house if you arent gonna feed them #and if you cant then you apologize and say why and offer to make it up to them later #im just. #even the famine explanation doesnt make sense because #in my experience people who have recently been through tragedy get MORE insistent on feeding everyone #as just a way of trying to help each other and make sure EVERYONE eats #absolutely fucking baffled

[writing-in-riverdale]

say something | archie andrews x reader

request

written by: kelly

edited by: @jugheadxresderinyourhead

anonymous said: hi ! here’s your character and number(s) : archie andrews , 63,64,66,77 :)

prompt: 63- “you left without saying goodbye.. i hate you for that” 64- “i loved you and then you were gone.. and i knew i’d lost you” 66- “please say something” 77- “i can’t.. i can’t loose you”

chapter song: all about you / birdy

✘

the day that i was sent away was the hardest day of my life to date. a scared 16 year old girl, pregnant with the baby of riverdales small town hero. archie was my dream guy. 

he had always been the one boy that i had a crush on consistantly throughout my life. one day he showed some interest back and that was it.

 we were together and inseperable. 

the night that i lost my virginity to archie was the start of a snowball affect. it sealed our passion for one another and also left me pregnant.

did archie know? no, he didn’t. was i going to tell him? yes eventually. just not now. 

my parents were shocked when i told them, they were local lawyers and active members of the church so as you can imagine, they weren’t happy. the plan was to send me to a home for un-wed mothers. i made it clear that the baby was going to stay with me, and they respected that. 

on one term.

 i left for the duration of my pregnancy and when i returned, the baby would be made out to be my orphaned cousin who my parents “adopted”. 

and after a week of paprerwork, i was gone. i wasn’t allowed to talk to any of my friends, i wasn’t allowed to tell archie, i wasn’t allowed to even tell my older brother who was in college at the time. it was our own personal deep, dark secret.

✘

over the last 8 months, i’ve developed into a mother. i gave birth to my daughter a week ago, and i’ve never felt better. bettys sister polly was here too. she is pregnant at the moment with jasons baby. what a shame. shes been helping me with my little girl, she’s also been helping me figure out what im gonna say when i get home. 

“you know that betty will be a great babysitter.” polly stated, trimming the roses.

“betty will be a great mom one day.” i reply, smiling while i remember my best friend who i miss dearly.

the baby starts to fuss, so i sit down in the garden and begin to feed her. 

“does it hurt?” polly asked, curious about the breastfeeding.

“at first it does, butonce you get used to it its super natural and relaxing. shes getting what she needs from me.” i clarified.

there was a blissful silence in the garden. i loved being here with my little princess. 

“have you got a name for her yet?” 

“i have a few that i like, im not sure which one i want for her yet.” i answer, trying to think of a better excuse for not naming her yet. its just that i dont feel any of the names that have been suggested thus far arent good enough for her.

the moment of blissfulness was about to end. and so was my trail of lies.

from the courtyard, i catch a glimpse of betty and jughead. they were running past all of the nuns to get to the rose garden. it was comotion, people were shouting as the pair of them start calling out for polly. 

i knew they were looking for her but i didn’t think that it was going to ever lead to them being here, while im here. feeding my baby, that they don’t know exists.

i see betty hug polly, and that brings a massive smile to my face. and while they were having a sweet reunion, jughead looks over at me. his eyes almost pop right out of his head. he turns a ghostly shade of white. 

“betty..” juggie says, stepping back. 

“whats up-” she was stopped mid-sentence. she too, had the same deer in the headlights look. 

“y/n?” she says looking down, at the pink blanket draped over my shoulder.

“hi guys.” i mutter, smiling softly.

the tension could of been cut like butter. it was dead quiet, confusion and shock filling up the atmosphere around us. now it was time for me to explain.

✘

“so the baby is archies?” betty enquired, her arm around my shoulder.

“yes. 100 percent.” i reply, looking down at my little girl.

“and your parents took you here, so that people would think you had gone to live with your brother while they were adopting the baby?” jughead recalled while stroking her little hand with his thumb.

“again, yes. i wanted to leave this place at first but i love it here now.” i state, looking around at the old building with lush gardens and wild flowers.

“we need to get you home, the both of you.” betty insists, getting up and dusting her skirt off. 

and with that the plan was hatched. myself and polly were to pack our stuff and betty would pick us up at midnight. 

and so she did. she came in archies truck, which she borrowed and we drove off into the night. i was longing for him. 

✘

we arrived at bettys grandmas house. it usually sat empty because her grandma was always overseas. she had set it up for myself and polly to stay in while they where figuring out what to do next. 

betty has made us some tea, we were sitting on the sofa exhausted from the crazy escape.

“jugheads staying at archies.” she said quietly, pursing her lips as if the words were forbidden.

“he’s better off at the andrews’ house.” i insisted, pretending like i didn’t even care that she mentioned archies name. 

the night was coming to an end, i settled down in a spare room and i fell asleep.

  ✘

the next morning i had decided to do something completely and utterly stupid. i was going to go and see archie. i needed to tell him that i was back and that i was the mother of his child. 

i was always one to act on impulse, thats what led me to be where i am in my life.

i got into a pair of jeans and a loose white shirt, put my hair up into a ponytail and got a diaper bag ready for the baby. we were about to leave when betty see’s me heading out the door.

“where are you going?” she asks, leaning against the doorway.

“i need to do it today bets, i can’t be here and not see him.” 

“lets go then.” she expresses, grabbing her car keys and heading off in front of me. no questions asked. 

“betty, the baby?” i ask, holding heer car seat.

“bring her with, i’ll watch her while you speak to him.” she suggests.

what am i doing? is this really going to happen? i feel sick. 

✘

as i walk into the auditorium at riverdale high, i feel this urge to crack a smile. as much as i used to hate it here, i’ve missed this place. 

it was always nice coming in and being a kid. i’ve had to acknowledge that archie wont be happy to see me. i know him well enough to establish that the boy has issues with people leaving him. 

i walk into the football locker room and head straight to his locker. i can see him standing there, texting someone. i stand awkwardly trying to say something but its like my voice disapeared.

 i take a sharp breath, trying to get some more confidencence to talk but im just numb. he’s so beautiful and as i see him standing there i remember looking at my baby. she has his eyes. those beautiful eyes.

and then i see him put something back into his locker and he quickly glances over at me and looks back. then it was like reality had stopped, he stared into his locker, trying to comprehend if his brain was decieving him. 

it wasn’t.

i was there.

he looked back at me, this time for longer. he had scanned my body. he knew something was different, i could tell.

“hey arch.” i mutter. pressing my foot against the concrete.

he just continued to stare at me. not a peep. 

“please...say something..” i stutter, trying to comprehend what he is thinking. 

“thats the thing-” he says looking up at me.

“i don’t know what to say..” he continued, placing his left hand throigh his thick hair.

the silence was deadly. you could hear the white noise.

almost in the same moment that silence was shattered by him slamming his fist against the metal locker.

he was impulsive, like me.

“FUCK” he raged, scaring the shit out of me.

my breathing picks up, i close me eyes. i felt his pain. 

“what the fuck y/n? you leave and then..oh shit.” he sits down, overwhelemed by the situation. 

“arch i can explain..” i say walking over to him. 

“explain what? you left without saying goodbye..and i hate you for that.” he spits, looking at me dead in the eyes. 

and with that, it felt like my whole world had stopped. i was almost winded by that word. hate. had it really gone that far?

“i loved you so much too.” he continues. 

“like i had so much love for you and you didn’t take that seriously.” he sneered.

“i cant loose you..” i croaked.

“well you should of thought about that before you left me without saing anything. god, you really dont get it. i loved you and then you were gone.. and i knew that i had lost you.” he confessed.

“I didn’t leave because i wanted to, i had to.” i snapped.

“you left because you’re selfish.” he interupted.

“i left because i was pregnant.” i corrected him.

and then the white noise returned. he looks at me and all of a sudden it clicked in his mind. thats why i looked different. thats why i had changed and thats why i had left. he looks around the room, as if his reality was slipping. 

“you had a b-” he stops to breath.

the look on his face was priceless.

“you had a baby?” he stammered, obviously shocked.

“i had our baby. i had to leave arch, i didn’t have a choice and i couldn’t tell you.”

he uses his hands to rub his face, tears forming very slowly in his eyes.

“i’m not mad.” he admits, looking down at his feet.

“i know.” i answer.

“i’m hurt or i was hurt. i don’t know-” he was interupted by a cry.

i see betty rush into the locker room with the stroller.

“i think she’s hungry.” betty whispers, looking at a gobsmacked archie.

“she?” he asked looking up.

i go towards to stroller, grabbing the baby. and lifting her up. 

“i want to hold her.”  he stands up, marching towards me. 

i look down at her, she wasn’t hungry. she was fussy.

archie comes around and looks down at her face. i could feel him almost melt. 

“she is so beautiful.” he says in awe.

“she looks just like y/n.” betty mentions with a smile ever present on her face.

“she does.” he agrees.

“she has your eyes arch.” i smile, gushing over this gorgeous child that i had a part in creating.

i turn around and i hand the baby to archie, proudly.

“have you named her?” he asks, looking up at me.

“i have a name in mind.” i reply.

“and?” betty questions.

“well my grandma’s name was ivy and archies grandmas name was belle, so i was thinking-”

“ivy belle.” he says cutting me off abruptley.

“oh thats so sweet.” betty whines, pulling her bottom lip out. 

“ivy belle andrews.” i purred.

archie looked at me and without any hesitation,

“im her dad.” he smiles.

✘

and in a moment, a hostile environment can be turned into a memory forever fuelled by love. 

archie and i got married when he graduated high school. he was working with his dad, and also writing and producing music on the side.

we had little miss ivy belle, and shortly after our wedding we welcomed a little cheeky little ginger haired boy named freddie forsythe. 

the teenage girl who was once pregnant and scared is now happily married, a mother of two and a journalist at the riverdale register. i never thought that my pregancy would of lead to my happily ever after, but it did.

✘ 

tag list: @hauntedcherryblossombanana-blog @sadbreakfastclb @jugandbettsdetectiveagency @fragilefrances @onceuponagladerhead  @natalieroseg @mhysaofdrxgons @hiimalyssawriter @kindflowerwelove

#archie comics #archie andrews #archie x jughead #archie andrews imagines #riverdale #riverdalle imagines #riverdale preferences #headcanon #preferences #jughead jones #veronica lodge #betty cooper #kj apa

[moon-dust-lust]

I write bad stand up comedy so thanks

So nice of everyone to come tonight, on a good day I have no more than four people that look at me at one time, so this is definitely making me severely uncomfortable. I'm only 20 years old which means just like every other 20 year old I cry in the shower and use tinder. I at first thought of tinder as a great way to pick up prey as a serial killer. I watched criminal minds a kid and I watch FOX news so every predator showcased on those forums are white dudes. I am also from eugene oregon so pretty much all of tinder looks like the milk aisle. Some are organic, some are fat free and others are being fought over by two different women who will send you death threats over facebook and try and sabotage your relationship. It is just great. Anyways, I recently decided as an in debt 20 year old with too may bills to pay and a customer service job that I'm already dead inside, so if I died it'd be pretty much how it is now except I would no longer have obligations and all the guys from my high school would finally pay attention to me. My first experience was just as about as fucked as it gets. He was this hot guy, six foot, covered in tattoos. He had just moved from utah, or illinois or somewhere else unimportant. He asked me for my snapchat, which ws already a flag because he was 26 and no one except someone over the age of 12, a soccer mom that's had a little too much wine, or a celebrity uses it; but I let it slide. So he's sending me pics and it looks like he's outside. He's sitting in a tent and so I'm like, "oh are you camping? that's fun. Don't let me keep you from anything". He's all, "No I live in a tent". Come to find out he had no job, no car and was living in a tent on someone's property. He was a homeless man. Now, how I found hopefully the only homeless man on tinder is beside me, but the weirdest part is how he had a phone still and also how he thought he could pick up chicks. Like did he think as a date i would let him shower at my place? Or was he thinking my ass would get fully dressed up in make up and heels just to spend the night in his tent? Would he make me bring my own firewood and sleeping bag? My own can of beans?  My experiences with men are pretty much summed up by this interaction alone. My first date ever, I showed up at this guy's house and it was infested with rabbits. I am talking ten or twelve. Then he took me up to his room to watch a movie, door open because this was high school and I had never even seen a condom before and his mom was downstairs watching something with jennfier aniston in it. His room was COVERED in pictures of his ex girlfriend. Pictures she drew of them, gifts she gave him, pictures of them together etc. SO, I was so uncomfortable but I was thinking it was probably just because he was too lazy to take them down. I was so wrong. So, so very wrong. Let me preface this by saying this was my first date, EVER. I had no idea what it was supposed to be like. He was a quarter back and he was all in shape and tan and that was pretty much all I knew about it. He had a really cliché rich white name and he was one of the only sophomores with a car and no curfew. He was a real bad boy. So after my date I got approached by his ex girlfriend at a party. She then told me that he was sending pictures of me while I wasn't looking to her and telling her how great of a time he was having and how he didn't need her. This was my first god damn date. I just cannot believe the progress I have made in the 5 years I have been dating. I never dated in middle school because i wore blue eyeliner and had a perm in the late 200s. I was really setting myself up to fail to begin with. I had one relationship that lasted three years. There is this funny thing about guys where they start out pretty normal and then after they really get comfortable they start to cheat on you and go crazy. It is just the weirdest thing. It's like the gremlins except instead of not feeding them after midnight you provide the with emotional stability and all the love in your hard. Big mistake ladies, Am I right? This guy I dated was so much fun. There was one time he told me I was absolutely perfect. He would tell me "Everything about you is perfect, except you could use a boob job". look, I will be the first to say i have the littlest titties in america, but I'll be damned if you dont appreciate them. They are like one piece of chocolate or the very back row of seats of a concert. You're just glad you got a little taste of your favorite thing, okay? I am like the bronze medal you get at a sporting event. Bitch you should just be happy you got any trophy at all. This guy was a real whackadoodle. He would cheat on me and then not let me go out with dudes, or ladies, bisexual pride woot woot, because he thought i would cheat to get back at him. But jokes on him because nobody likes me and I also didn't have any friends. I ended up breaking up with him because he was obviously terrible and he decided to stalk me. All i could think about when he would harass my family and try and show up at my school and had his parents blow up my phone is, "now you miss my lil tities?" who was gonna pay for all this shit in the first place? where did he think i was gonna get the fucking money for this? I am a broke college student, I drive a car that sounds like an eighty year old at the back of a movie theater coughing and I work at a restaurant where everyone is so stoned, it's like I'm at in the middle of portland on a saturday night. I go to the university of oregon. A very fun school, full of people who have no interest in talking to me. In their defense half the time I have my headphones in and I am crying so I guess it's just in everyone's best interest to not get into it. I am a psychology major, which I call the boring white girl major. I got into it to become a sex therapist, mostly because I am not having any and really want to find out if there's a book on how to make people not continuously reject you, but also because sex is a hard topc and I talk about it like a human urban dictionary. The worst part about the university is the talking. There was one time I had a 200 person anthropology class and these girls from a sorority who all obviously took the class together to cheat and not do anything ever, were describing their friend tiffany or gemma or some other rich fake tanned name's vomit. The color, texture, smell, everything. They were analyzing what she had eaten the previous morning and all the alcohol she mixed and all I could think was, " if you spent half as much time talking about your friend samantha's vomit as you would listening you wouldn't be failing this class and self medicating with alcohol to the point where you throw up because youre a bunch of clemintine sharp nailed looking green beans". Like i pay too much to listen to you explain the thong you bought and how it chafes your butthole when you dry hump alex from the frat across the street who is also fucking tina with the fake nose and even though he gave you clamydia six months ago, you trust him now you know? I own one bra and one pencil. I am wearing two completely different socks, one is a knee high and the other is an ankle one. Whenever I am hungry i dont go to sushi, I go to bed. So please Gretchen from Bitch, Bump &grind and beyond stop and let me at least get a C so I can land a job that makes me 12 dollars an hour and I can be poor in a different setting. I work full time and go to school. I am not like most millenials. I don't have time to eat avocado toast or catch HPV. At my little restaurant in junction city, the staff is absolutely questionable. I was the first girl there who was single and under the age of 40, so naturally I became bate for every man in society you hope you never run into in life. The first was our host. He looked like bowzer from mario if he were a white middle class man. He was shaped like a tear drop, so his head was small and oddly shaped and the rest of him just got wider and rounder as you went down. He always wore the same button down shirt, I think to try and impress me, but like it was his only button down shirt. Anyways, he is what I call the lingerer. If you are a woman who has ever had a man like you at work, you know exactly what I am talking about. He would follow around, but like at a creepy slow distance and he would stare at me until he thought i was looking and then looked away. He would also reach over or around me just so he could be close to me. It's weird and painful to watch. He also asked my sister, who also works there, if i was a lesbian because i wasnt immediately interested in him. Let me digress for a moment and say that just because a woman rejects you doesnt mean she loves only vagina. It usually means you arent a good person, or she just doesnt wanna date, or she has a boyfriend already, or you have no common interests, or she doesnt want to mix work with her personal life or maybe she has something personal against blonde guys, white guys, guys with glasses, she dated someone with your name and its weird, she has a lot of issues with touching, you have weird hands, you have bad breath, you are bad at your job, she is asexual, or THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO REASON SHE JUST DOESNT LIKE YOU AT ALL EVER. Men are so vapid about that sometimes. Anyways, he gave me a cash tip off one of my tables and I, trying to be civil was all, "oh i love free money thank you" trying to relate to him because he seemed like the type to bring a gun to work and I really wasnt in the mood to get shot or followed out to my car so i gotta keep is civil you know? so apparently you cannot be friends with sexual predators because then he gets all close and whispers in my ear "is that how I get in your pants, by throwing money at you?". The tip he gave me was only five dollars. If is ass thought having sex with me would cost only five dollars, he has no idea how bad inflation is or how much i spend on amazon a month. Also, even with my little titties and cellulite, no amount of money would let me fuck a guy who looked like barnie the dinosaur if he were a white pale ghost. I have very low standards, but they exist for sure. somewhere. deep down. The next guy i had was this old cook. he was 65 and he cooked in the morning. His wife was obviously dead, in his basement or both because he was always saying nasty things to me. He told me that if he were forty years younger he would hire me as his kid's babysitter so he could fuck me. He also told me he was extremely attracted to me and terrified of me at the same time. He one time came up to me and asked me what i had in my front seat because i was hiding something under a coat. He has rotted out teeth and children older than me. It is men like those guys that make me think, "am I really that bad to the point this is as good as it gets?

#badcomedy #standup #socially awkward #im fragile #trying my best #comedy