#you do the hockey pockey and you turn yourself around

[mellorad]

update

Hey!! It's been a while, hasn't it?

TL;DR: you can find me nowadays on my Twitter or Instagram where I'm currently sharing my professional work + engaged in the Tangled/Cassunzel fandom.

I've been thinking about this blog for the past couple of days, and my entire experience here on tumblr (especially during my FMA fandom days)... so if any of you are still out there, let's talk:

It's been... so, so long since I was last actively here, aside from very occasionally dropping by. Browsing this blog, going back to my 2015-2017 active days, it feels like my own time capsule: a record of my experiences and the person I used to be.

It's wild; reading these insights into my impressionable, excitable 19/20 year old self out here, and realizing, now 4 years later with some good distance, just how much I was struggling (particularly in 2017).... and just how much I've grown, how much I've changed.

It's still me! I still see my enthusiasm and resolve... but dang, I've really become someone different. Life happened! So, so many things in life happened. So here I am, in the middle of this panini, having become the best, fiercest, most resilient version of myself. I learned to love and accept myself, I learned to speak up and stand my ground... and there hasn't been a day where I haven't grown happier for embracing my queerness.

I wonder how ya'll see me, or remember me after all this time! If it's that frozen version of myself from 2017. I wish I could fully express all my changes, but there's so much I can put into words!

Reading through the asks sent to this blog and interactions from back then, I can't help but feel overwhelmed with emotion and extremely thankful for the kindness and care I was often handed by my followers, mutuals and online friends from back then.

My experience out here might've been tainted by burnout and a few personal struggles that resulted in stepping away from the platform; I never really disclosed the hows or whys, but they honestly don't matter anymore. However, skimming through this blog after years made me realize and value the support I had from the community, from people willing to DM me or send an ask to check in on me, cheer me up, offering advice.

And to that, I say: thank you. Thank you for being by my side, for having interacted, for having taken part in that moment of my life.

I doubt I'll ever return here properly, maybe just checking in to reblog some cool stuff or share my art. But I want this blog to remain the time capsule that it is, for the most part.

As I said on the TLDR part, I'm most active on Twitter nowadays (and even engaged in another fandom for the first time in 4 years: Tangled The Series & Cassunzel, who would've thought!) and I've been focused in my professional career as a designer and illustrator, in taking care of myself, as well as my support system (so blessed to have incredible real life friends, and a few online ones perservering!!). So check out what I've been up to!! I assure you, you'll barelyyy be able to recognize my art, hehehehe.

I hope you're good!! I'd love to hear how you're doing, if you've read this!!

#mello talks #ooooofff it's been a while #lmao I wonder if there's gonna be a popup saying 'mellorad is back at it again!!' #but for the real homies out there: you're so cool i appreciate tf out of you #you do the hockey pockey and you turn yourself around #just like our boy todd chavez from bojack horseman says #man i'm like 500% chill about life than I used to be when I was here HAHA