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halfadoginatank · 3 months

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RE:BOOTING, Awakening.

Part one-> Here.

Have fun!

———————

There are three things John believes in. The divine, The machine, and The flesh.

His own body has been over, under, twisted around this conglomerate of parts for months. People have called, texted, mailed him for Christ's sake. But there's nothing more important than feeling unforgiving metal bend under his human hands.

Ghost is a machine so broken and tragic, John cries when he's alone with it.

he forgets there's a human inside of there, forgets though always passively aware of the chip in the machine's name where he works around it. When he's welding metal together, wiring it, staring into its chassis with adoration and wonder, he neglects the fact there is a human ‘soul’ in there, waiting to wake up.

John's never been dead, he doesn't know what the real man inside the metal feels.

But he longs, he wants to shove more than his hands inside this robot. This Replicant, he wants to become one with it, in a body he's created himself. In his hazy mind he believes there's god inside this machine, because there is some god in everything and in him, and he is inside this machine, bits of himself- his handiwork, his blood, his sweat, the tears from drunk nights sobbing over a machine while he tells it things he could never admit to himself.

It takes his time, his sleep, his awareness away from the world. There's a bottle of medication right by his night stand and everyday he avoids it, he's so focused now. There's never been anything else like this, like peeling the synthetic skin away from metal and improving what couldn't fix itself. John doesn't want to lose any attention he has on this machine.

Days and nights pass, he prolongs the inevitable, making tiny worthless upgrades, small details, painting back some of Simon Rileys tattoos onto the cold dark grey metal, they barely show up unless in the right lighting but who cares? Anything but turning it back on, anything but having the man inside look upon John and see what he's done, to see him, see inside John's head and every thought he's had while inside him.

John hopes robotic bodies don't hold memories, he hopes when a Replicant's body is turned off that they can't see anything, can't hear anything, he hopes Simon is sleeping well in whatever realm of data his soul is in now. He doesn't want to be seen, he just wants to work. Free to love and care for things that feel nothing at all.

When he turns this machine on it will cease to be just that, it'll be a person. A person who will look down at themselves, call it good, and never see him again.

He'll be letting go of the best thing he's ever made, he'll be letting go Ghost.

[«»]

Time catches up anyway. He sends the email and they respond in kind. A week from now John Price, Kyle Garrick, and Kate Laswell will arrive at his office, So it's time. John will turn the ‘key’ and Simon will wake up.

When he does, for a brief moment he considers a gift from god- there is silence. Those brown eyes blink open, the synthetic skin on his face and neck pull when he turns his head, scrunches when he sniffs the air. John has never felt so… unsure of what he's done.

“Where am I?” Simon's head pulls up, he rattles against the metal table, john looks down in shame and purses his lips- unable to really make anything of his own doing.

“Where the hell am I?!?” Simon rattles again, John looks away from the restraints on him in guilt.

Simon continues his questioning, his flailing, John can only hope it'll end soon so he can get a word in- maybe explain. But in truth, how could he explain being reborn into a machine?

The sounds grow closer and John makes nothing of it until a towering figure blocks every inch of his vision.

Of course, he would make Ghost inhumanly strong, and of course he would fail to make proper restraints.

“Who are you, what orders were you given?”

Simon's face looked down at him, that face he had painfully put onto a plate he 3D printed just so he could keep it as accurate to what few pictures he was given. Scars and everything, even those tiny freckles he hand painted on- exactly where they should be.

Orders, right, orders are much easier to explain.

“You're aware of what a replicant is, yea?”

God let him keep his eyes anywhere but on the man in front of him.

“Captain Price, your superior; found you dying in Texas of all places- put you in a very old Replicant soldier body that was beat up and declared a spare.”

John thanked whatever gods out there that Simon had taken steps back to sit on the table, the table with broken leather straps- Christ above.

“He came to me to fix you up the best I could, so I did. Fix you, I mean.”

He felt… tired, John didn't bother explaining even more. couldn't really think beyond the sudden wave of exhaustion. Instead he sat down at his closest chair and bemoaned some of the papers and parts Simon had stepped on.

There's a giant silent expanse between them, John yearns for cold metal with no gaze to freeze him solid.

“When am I on active duty.”

John bites his tongue, goes for a cup of coffee on his desk he knows is cold.

“Price is coming around with the rest of the squad in three days, presumably he'll move you and you'll be in their care.” He can't keep the bitterness out of his voice.

Simon is prone to one word responses and direct questions, John shouldn't blame him for it. He doesn't, not really, he blames himself most of all. For getting involved with a Replicant, for spending what little sleep he got at its bedside, for whispering his secrets into a hollow skull.

“And you?”

Oh, John doesn't know. What does anyone do when losing a part of themselves?

“I'll move on to other projects- military always has issues with something, once someone gets word about who patched you up, i'll get more orders. I do good for myself.”

He wants to brag, he wants to brag and act like Ghost isn't the best thing he's worked on in his life.

“Right.”

[«»]

In the end those three days are spent in silence. Simon only needs to recharge really, so John goes back to sleep in his bed. The world has never felt colder.

He's not listening to their reunion, not really. Price is happy to see Simon again and Garrick makes his introduction- he's charming and John finds he likes the people in this squad, it's certainly better then some.

Laswell is who he spends most of the time with, there's papers and documents of all kinds. John wants to poke fun at them using ancient methods like a paper contract but he's still so tired.

In truth, the only thing that really catches his attention is when Price turns to him and asks him, John Mactavish, to join the one-four-one.

It's been years since he'd been on a military base, he shriveled at the thought of shitty “laboratories” and rec rooms full of people that became uninterested in him once he spoke about what he was truly passionate about.

He lays down his clauses, he'll work here, loath to change his environment.

There's a secret glee inside of him though. Proper gym equipment, maybe the opportunity to work on more specialized robotics then just his usual contract allows. When he says yes, Kate slides his contract from under the one he just signed.

Quietly it feels like fate.

——————

👍I take my leave.

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