#yesterday and today aaaaaa :) i thought i was gonna be miserable but no

[horrorwebs]

I MADE MORE FRIENDS . !!

#yesterday and today aaaaaa :) i thought i was gonna be miserable but no #yesterday i arrived at drawing class and i thought the girls from last time [3 weeks ago] barely remembered me/were annoyed by me. but no #i arrived at class [packed w like 70 ppl who all dont know each other] and they scream MY NAME :D [greetinf] #like right as i stepped into the class they were in the middle of it #so i say hi to them and also these two guys who i rly like that i had met before starting class while on a trip w friends who i was hoping #i could talk to. well we all sit outside clas to work together so we talk a lot and its really cool and i love them already! #and today i was scared bc i knew only 1 girl from design class [ok actually 3 more hut 1 is more like a classmate thing and the other 2 we #talked once and i dont remember their names] b i arrived and didnt see her so i sat alone scared then i saw her and went over to her table #n i made friends with her friends theyr really cool! especially this one guy i sat next to we talked a lot it seems like we are similar #and in the other 2 theoric clases i know this 2 girls that i also shar drawing with and theyre both really sweet so its cool! #bad thing is that all of them are in diff careers than me [graphic design architecture and textile design] i havent mer anyone from mine #[<- image and sound design] #so im scared next year ill know no one again! but atill im so happy en #yesterday was so fun with these guys #and like one of the guys i knew when i met him i was like waow hes so cool i wish we could be friends but ill prob never see himagain #AND THEN I SAHRE A CLASS W HIM . i though maybe hed be annoyed but no he made conversation asked me questions + asked be to b in his group #anyway the teacher separated ghe groups and made them themselves but eitherway! hes so cool and weird. and the girls are great too like #super kind and sweet and it wa svery fun #spikeposting

[skinni-girls-eat-books]

Thursday, January 18th, 2024!

7:28am saw a pic of him on his brother's sc, looks the same as before. It was his brother's birthday yesterday and it looks like he had a lot of fun and I'm seriously proud of him. He deserves that shit.

As for any stirred feelings of him... Ofc he's gonna look completely normal in public, that's what they do. If he couldn't hold it together in public, he wouldn't have what little things he does have right now. I can totally see it now, like the bachelor party all over again where he blows his whole bank account OR lil ms bitch just paid for everything OR they really had the audacity to let the birthday kid pay for everything himself bc tbh he probably could and he's nice enough to not even mind genuinely. Who knew lil bro would be the most normal of the bunch, but again that actually makes me happy that he's normal lmao. But yeah, that karma will come little by little, slowly, death by a thousand cuts like he did to me. Enjoy your fun, we all know you're truly miserable on the inside you sociopath mf. When you go home and get in bed at night with just your thoughts, I know everything eats you up, completely drains you having to be so fake all the time. So, enjoy your parties before you become old and can no longer put up your facade. I'll be here, thriving bc I have always shown people my true self and *I don't lie* Lying will age you quickly my friend.

2:31pm I want to text him so much shitty stuff. I want him to know how much he fucked me up. He put so much anger and frustration and resentment in my life I hate him. I lost all respect and trust for him and can't believe he just ran away from it all. Fucking coward. Idk why I'm so angry today. Too much on my plate just too much I don't care about too much I don't want to do. I hate everything and everyone and literally just fuck everything. I deserve so much fucking better and I know now and I'm so angry at my former self. I can't go back, I can just go forward. Karma karma karma stupid fucking bitch. Fuck you fuck you fuck you I wish I could fucking choke you and inflict physical pain onto you so you could be shaking like I am right now. Shaking with anger and frustration I hate you I hate you I hate you.

8:29pm had a phone call with my school friend, even though we were talking about our project it felt good to just have an actual conversation with someone.... A normal person with no strange motive for talking to me. Loneliness does not look good on me. It literally makes me go crazy a bit. Just look at that stuff from earlier I've literally been mad all day long and it's just been building up inside of me. Insane I'm literally driving myself insane!! I just want normal give me normal boring please!!

11:32pm fuck leaving things until the last minute wtf is my homegirl doing like.... Girl I just did all the slides and you are literally AWOL I have no idea what the hell is going on 😂 my booty is literally sore from sitting here, I have no damn clue how in depth they want us to go with this, it's literally a fucking powerpoint, I feel completely clueless lmao. There's only like 2-3 big drugs used for this disease and just like ok..... And two much rarer medications for rare etiologies. I just want to crack open my bottle of wine, get dicked down and sleep in my own bed tbh 😂 I low-key hope that guy is on the same page or just kinda *forgets* about our conversation. I just can't with men rn. Tryna come over here for what?? Lmao I'm not about to have me a stalker no sir ik this pussy is good you wanna make me breakfast n shit aaaaaaa booty call on a Wednesday aaaaaa