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cybernaght · 3 years

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Guardian rewatch: Episode 3

First of all, wow. When I decided to post those online, I was expecting that they would be read by two people, both of whom I personally know. It was in equal part surprising and terrifying that so many of you ventured here. Thank you for reading, I really appreciate it.

Episode 3 is probably my favourite case. It’s not perfectly strung together, there is little actual investigative work in it, but it’s a beautiful story of boundless love and devotion, which echoes through the relationship between our protagonists

Professor Shen is looking at some materials that are looking suspiciously like research into something supernatural, when Zhang Ruonan makes an appearance at his office, claiming that she is absolutely fine, while clearly being very far away from fine. This is something Shen Wei can certainly relate to, because he is the king of hiding his ailments from others.

Zhu Hong’s one-sided affection for Zhao Yunlan starts to show already in this episode: while he has the cold, she nags him to take care of himself, shoves tissues into his hands, and presses him to drink his meds. It’s easy to imagine even this early on that she will be the woman drunk dialling him one day.

I know this could be seen as straightbaiting, but I honestly thing that the actual purpose it serves in the show is the opposite; I’ll talk more about it when we get there.

Zhao Yunlan spends a lot of this episode in Shen Wei’s office, starting with this scene, in which is obviously flexing. Not only does he sneeze all over the office, he goes to eat Shen Wei’s cake after specifically being told not to eat it. He also takes his opportunity to mix questioning with flirting, as is his usual way. He keeps eye contact while spooning cake into his mouth, as he explains, jovially, that another mysterious death on his campus cannot possibly be a coincidence. And, to be fair, he is not really wrong. We are meant to believe that this is all set in motion by Zhu Jiu, aka the least scary villain in the history of villainy, and an owner of your staple baby goth wig. I will not mention him again until the plot makes it impossible for me not to do so.

Zhang Ruonan comes in, and Zhao Yunlan introduces himself as Shen Wei’s good friend. Which is half-way between a flex and an act of kindness. On one hand, he could have said he was from the police - which would be absolutely true - and risk tarnishing the professor’s good name. On the other hand, he could probably look less pleased with himself. Shen Wei, at the very least, looks neither grateful, nor amused.

Zhao Yunlan asks her if she new the victim and she looks incredibly shifty as she flees. He is right to think that something is up, and he correctly assumes trauma, rather than guilt. We can now start to see that he is very very good at reading people. It must be equal parts thrilling and disconcerting for him to have met something who he decisively cannot read. Shen Wei vouches for the woman, partly, surely, because his Hei Pao Shi sense is tingling, letting him know that someone is eavesdropping.

Despite feeling uneasy, Shen Wei still offers Guo Changcheng, who is left to collect various paperwork from his desk, a little smile. He has a reason to like Xiao Guo, of course: he was the one to see the young man’s kindness and understanding, and he is already growing protective of him, way before he will start seeing members of the special unit as his people. This reminds me of how many months later, he will subtly, but decisively stop a barrage of verbal abuse against Xiao Guo by dropping a pair of chopsticks.

Zhao Yunlan is taking Xiao Guo with him on the case rather than anyone else, partly, supposedly, because of Guo Changcheng’s familial connections. The young man looks more sure of himself, asking correct questions, dutifully records answers. He also tries to look after his Chief by asking him to go home and rest. He does phrase it badly, but Zhao Yunlan has a thing against his own health and well-being, so he reacts extra poorly.

Soon after, Zhao Yunlan’s at Shen Wei’s office yet again, as Shen Wei tries his best to ignore him, in the hope that he… well, maybe not goes away, but does not ask him anything that will require him lying. Instead, Zhao Yunlan is asking Shen Wei why he is bad at reading people, which is a very strange thing to ask. Shen Wei answers his question with a question, “Will seeing through people really lessen the hurt and disappointment?” Adding, “Many tragedies were destined from the beginning”. He looks well.. like this as he says it.

This is loaded. On first glance, it’s a pretty good set-up to the way this story will unfold, as a tragedy of two individuals who let their devotion to each other nearly ruin each other’s life. A fragile human and a dangerous powered Undergroundian: what else is that, but a tragedy, waiting to happen? But this story - this one right in front of us - will not end tragically, at least not for the two people it enters around. It could do so, but it will not. Maybe, this truly is the first hint that this entire narrative, so carefully set up from the very first time Zhao Yunlan and Shen Wei meet, is destined to be a tragedy. Moreover, that it must be one, for some cosmic reason.

(… I apologise while I go have a little cry in the corner. Damn you, Guardian, why do you make me hurt so much?)

Da Qing inexplicably morphs from black cat to a human in white t-shirt while doing night shadowing, and promptly falls asleep on patrol. Why is he being sent to stake anyone out? He is least suitable for it. He is literally a cat. He sleeps 16 hours a day.

Surprisingly, when pressed, Zhang Ruonan comes clean very easily, revealing that she was a victim of the three students she failed (two of which are already dead and one one standing right next to them), who lured her out at night, which left her vulnerable to be attacked. Zhao Yunlan listens to this story, and instead of… oh I don’t know, perhaps asking her the identity of the third student, leaves to go find that out for himself. It is heavily implied that he does it on purpose, which is definitely not okay.

Moreover, he goes and... asks Shen Wei. This makes me suspect that he’s not really thinking with his head at this point. As he does so, he is brandishing a letter opener.

Shen Wei is looking even less impressed with him than he did during their last few conversations.

Zhao Yunlan is a little bit flippant when it comes to students’ lives this episode. And yes, they have done something really quite horrible to another human being, but that's not a very good excuse to let the last of them just die. As it happens, the situation Yunlan created - perhaps on purpose - did lure out Zhao Ruonan’s murder girlfriend, but it also cost a student his life. Which is far from ideal, but is somehow never even mentioned. Instead of being aghast, he sits on the table as he goes into full interrogation mode. (As he will continue to do a lot. Sometimes he crouches on tables instead. There is no further point here, apart from: I like this character quirk. It’s a nice character quirk.)

He brings some of his team in at this point, and asks Zhu Hong to continue interrogation. It would be a nice gesture is he did not interject two questions in.

“How do you regard your relationship with Wang Yike?”

“We are family.”

They are definitely, decisively not going for sisterly bond here. Which is kind of incredible. This is one of the moments the amorphous being that show is looks at the censors, wiggles its battered low budget eyebrows at them, and then proceeds to flip them off. Well done, Guardian.

Wang Yike calls Zhang Ruonan, saying there is one more victim she needs to take care of, and Lin Jing traces the call back to campus. Zhao Yunlan, who did not even bat an eyelid at a dead student earlier, now looks decisively worried

“Oh no. Professor Shen.”

The only reason Shen Wei is attacked is jealousy. Wang Yike does not know this of course, but trying to kill him is a bad move, because a) he has long ago given his heart away, and is definitely not interested; b) this is probably the only thing she could do to make the man on the case very very upset; c) Shen Wei’s immune to her powers.

“Someone like you will never understand what she means to me!” Wang Yike shouts eventually. “As long as I can protect her, my life has worth!” And, even as Wang Yike has no way of knowing it, these are the words that ultimately save both her and her loved one. Because Shen Wei does in fact understand what Zhang Ruonan means to her. His own endless and ultimately self-destructive devotion is his main driving force.

Shen Wei pretends to be hurt, again, which earns him a half-hug from the object of his devotion. If Zhao Yunlan does notice that Shen Wei should really come out of this attack grey haired and dead, and not just mildly inconvenienced, he chooses not to say anything.

Worried about her murder girlfriend, Zhang Ruonan rushes in and accidentally touches her. Zhao Yunlan Freaks The Hell Out. Shen Wei does, too, but in his own, reserved, way. They are both emotionally invested in those two people, although for very different reasons: Shen Wei is acutely feeling resonance of his own past in their story, and Zhao Yunlan, I think, wants to fix it, he wants to be able to make it better. Instead, Shen Wei fixes it for him, turning the tide on this tragedy, and giving it a happy ending. He heals Zhang Ruonan right in front of the officers of SID, albeit with much subtlety. (“Have someone saved her right under our noses?” Zhu Hong will snort the very same evening, and she will be 100% correct.)

Shen Wei also lets Wang Yike go despite the undeniable fact that she did kill three people. Here, he is looking at the picture of this human/Undergroundian couple, surviving despite all odds, and touches his only reminder that Kunlun really was in his life.

He then burns the picture as the only evidence that Wang Yike was not punished by him for her crimes.

In the end, Guo Chengcheng is making first of his many diary notes about the events, recounting a conversation between Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan we had not witnessed, in which Shen Wei mentioned a relationship based on devotion that can last a thousand years, and Zhao Yunlan called such a relationship “guarding”. Finally, Guo Changcheng hopes that he can become a guardian of all.

And this is making me think that this absolutely should be a set-up for him becoming a wick of the guardian lantern, as per every single other decision that was made prior to the last two episodes. Right? This is a perfect foreshadowing, and mentioning it here, so early in the show would not make any sense if it were a deliberate subversion. So, was Guo Changcheng meant to become the wick after all before... what, some rewrites happened? What made the final episode be what it was in the end?

(This is a genuine question by that way, if anyone has any insight on the matter.)

The episode would end here, if this was a western show, with a familiar monster of the week structure, but it does not. At least, the way it ends is reminiscent of a cliffhanger, with Zhao Yunlan catching Shen Wei in a middle of a crime scene, and looking betrayed.

Next episode: Lynchian Nightmare, aka people without faces.

PS.

I did not have a seamless way to stick this in anywhere but... Shen Wei’s technological ineptness at the max: he does not know how to use a Polaroid camera. Help him, he is so lost.

——

Second point of housekeeping to say a few things:

I don’t think I will be consistent with certain things being transliterated versus translated. I am more likely to use Hei Pao Shi rather than Black Cloak Envoy (because the later reminds me of Tuxedo Mask, which makes me inwardly giggle every time) but at the same time I am also more likely to use Underground/Undergroundian rather than Dixing/Dixingren. I am more likely to use Xiao rather than Little, but have called Chu Old rather than Lao before. I hope that’s not grating, but do tell me if it is

My recaps are Shen Wei-heavy. I have no real explanation for this, apart from.. I like Shen Wei.

I realise that there will definitely be things here that are head canon and speculation rather than flat observations; this show is a work of fiction and a work of art, which cannot be interpreted objectively. If you have alternate takes on anything I write in the future, let me know!

#guardian #shen wei #zhan yunlan #recap #rewatch #I still don't know how to tag

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serialfirstdater · 3 years

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Do I Have a Type??

A close friend of mine brought up something recently when we were messaging each other back and forth on Instagram about dating, boys, the usual.

“I don’t know what your type is,” she said.

I asked her if she was sure. Were there no commonalities with any of the guys I’ve previously dated? She could only give me descriptors of my most recent ex (The Property Lawyer), which obviously did not match the ex before that (The Ex-Actor, whom I never really gave a name to prior on this blog but I’m doing it now for simplicity sakes).

Although she said this in passing, the thought stuck around in my mind. The following day, I visited another friend and caught her up on my dating adventures this past month. She too also said, I didn’t really have a type.

This got me thinking some more as I reflected back on both my exes (minus the shitty first one that I am not gonna even bother including because he was a mistake) and the guys I have been interested in this past month that were also interested in me.

I’m a fan of lists. So, I’m gonna list out each ex’s qualities and their physical attributes.

Exes

The Ex-Actor (Second Ex)

Physical Attributes: 5′10, normal body, baby-face, boyish charms, the only Caucasian on this list whilst everyone else is Chinese.

Personality/Qualities: Selfless, generous, agreeable, realist, a listener, slight goofball, lovable, introverted, thoughtful, and doting. Can be awkward upon first meet though lol.

Interests: History, space, camping, and indie pop.

Notes: I have to point out that this relationship always had an expiry date since he asked me out after I applied for my Australian visa. Therefore we never got too deep. So, it’s hard for me to point out the flaws in him because when we were dating, he had none. I was happy to spend time with him, doing whatever. He was the first person to truly give me what I always wanted in a relationship. Til this day, I still have a very soft spot for him. I tell everyone, he’s probably the only person that can potentially deter me from my future plans (unless we properly date and realize we are actually incompatible). However, a part of me don’t think so and I feel like he was the one I let go and my heart still never fully healed after 2.5 years. I plan to treasure the necklaces and card he gave me forever.

(From Future Me: I originally drafted this post up about 3-4 weeks ago. I tried shooting my shot with the Ex-Actor two weeks ago and he never replied. Although I was bummed, I had a feeling he was respecting the current relationship that he is in and didn’t want to complicate things. I respect that and honestly him not answering was enough of an answer for me. I no longer have to fantasize about what-ifs and torture myself over and over with the spirals of my thoughts. I didn’t know if he was still seeing someone hence why I reached out. His best friend/my friend later confirmed he’s still with his girlfriend (which I assumed was the case). I feel that a weight has lifted and I am in a much better spot mentally now. I honestly couldn’t get him out of my head from October 2020 to the beginning of June 2021. And yes, I was thinking of him when I was still with the Property Lawyer. I didn’t want to be but sometimes the mind works in funny ways and you just gotta deal. Either way, I hope he’s incredibly happy cause he deserves it).

The Property Lawyer (Third and latest Ex)

Physical Attributes: 6′, normal body weight (though previously ripped in his younger days), could be a side-character in some Chinese historical drama if he wanted to be looks-wise without his glasses (but my friend said he’s goofy-looking LOL).

Personality/Qualities: Extroverted, enthusiastic, entertainer, creative, generous, always affirming, low-pain tolerance, messy, wishy-washy, selfish, afraid to wastes time, easily stressed, doesn’t like when things are seemingly difficult, and one of my friends thought he had a subtle cocky vibe to him.

Interests: Magic, singing, playing instruments (guitar, piano, drums), creating films, hanging out with friends, and acting.

Notes: The Property Lawyer always made sure to take care of me throughout the entire relationship. He was happy to give me whatever I wanted (though by this point, it was no longer as new to me because of the Ex-Actor). Since we were long-distance for 1.5 years out of the 1 year 9 months we were together, we never got the full experience of dating each other. However, I did get to see his flaws here and there (hence the bigger list of negative traits) but it never really blew up until the very end when he broke up with me. Despite the way things ended, he still made sure to take care of the things that were most important to me because he knew what he was signing up for when he started to date me. (So bless his heart for sending all my things back and paying $4k for it). He was easily irritated and I did see that show up when we were trying to sort how to get my things back.

My Analysis Between Both Exes

I realized in the shower one day that the key difference between the two exes was the fact that the Ex-Actor is selfless whereas the Property Lawyer is selfish. I think this is key to why I have been so mentally and emotionally attached to the Ex-Actor. Everything he did, he did because he wanted me to be happy. Even at the end of that relationship, he kept telling me that he wanted me to live my best life abroad and that no guy should ever hold me back from my dreams.

Whereas with the Property Lawyer, at the end of that relationship, he told me one of the things he regretted was letting me go. Even in his card that he wrote to me, he said that he will always welcome me back as a friend and someone who will support him. As you can see, there’s a stark difference between the end of both relationships.

Quick Break-Downs of 2021 Dates (Thus Far)

This is just a break-down of the guys I have been interested in since I went back on the dating apps at the end of April 2021 after I found out the Property Lawyer found someone new to date after breaking up with me.

The Alumni: chubbier boy, good listener, a bit of a pessimist, easily triggered by dumb people, loves golf, hiking and his cat (and willing to buy my food or bubble tea each time :D)

The Historian: average weight, a bit old-school, enthusiastic, academic, extroverted, couldn’t have sex with someone he was not 100% romantically invested in. We also had conflicting values on what to expect from dating and he didn’t believe in paying for meals as expected each time when it comes to dates.

The Music Teacher: surprisingly fit, good listener, inquisitive, and... I think that’s all I can come up for this guy cause we only video-called once. Randomly ghosted and blocked me when I was asking simple questions about his previous relationships (which he simply could’ve said he didn’t want to talk about if he wasn’t comfortable but I only asked because I shared everything about my relationship with him). So in the end, not so great cause who tf does that (I find that to be either insecure or you are awful at communication).

Conclusion

Yeah, I don’t have a type. LOL. Simply someone I am attracted to at least mildly at first and most importantly, willing to indulge me in my Love Language. I’ve been interested in both extroverted and introverted personalities. Guys that are super sociable with friends or not much at all (but still need to at least have friends lol). I’m basically cool with anyone as long as they like me back basically. So, tell me in person what kind of guy do you think I will end up with the next time you see me based on my personality and how much you know me!

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