#yes it’s unfair you still don’t have grandkids bc you would be great grandparents

[chiefguideandcentre]

I hate when my mother makes her little remarks when it comes to grandkids. My parents have 3 kids and we are all somewhere in our 30s and none of us have kids yet and (unfortunately for my parents) only one of us wants kids. My older sister doesn’t want them and has said that since she could talk, so she was ruled out for grandkids long ago. That leaves my older brother and me. he wants kids, just got married and will be having them within the next year or two. I don’t want kids, I don’t like them, don’t want them. I’ve said that, but I think my moms still convinced that I will change my mind. I won’t. So lately (ever since her twin sister became a grandmother 3 years ago) she’s been making little remarks about her lack of grandchildren. Twin sister says something about loving her grandchildren and my mother will just whip out, “oh, it must be nice” all while side eyeing me. Or when talking about herself and my dad “we got screwed”. And just mean little remarks of that nature meant to guilt trip all the time. Like I’m sorry you have 3 children and only one wants kids of their own. I know you feel like you are running out of time to be a grandparent. I know you are at that age blah blah blah. But I don’t have a responsibility to give you grandkids. Did you have children specifically so you could have grandchildren one day? No. Was I put on this earth strictly to have children? No. Yes, I know you would make great grandparents but this is not my problem. I don’t owe you fucking kids. I hate kids. They scream and cry and they are gross and I do not want them. I’m tired of the guilt tripping. Like you still have my brother who will give you 2 or 3 probably, like is that not enough? How many damn grandkids do you need to have? Will 2 or 3 not occupy you? I’m not permanently changing my body and my entire life and going through the torture that is childbirth all for something I don’t even want just so you can have some kids to play with for an hour every once in awhile and then I’m stuck with them for the rest of the time. I know I’m not suited for motherhood and I’m doing the potential children of mine a favor by not having them in the first place bc I will just be resentful. I’m not trapping myself in a situation that I ultimately do not want. I mean am I sometimes like “well it might not be so bad, it’s probably nice having children to love and watch grow”, yes I think that sometimes, but I don’t want it enough. And I hate being made to feel guilty for it. And you aren’t screwed either! My older brother will give you grandchildren, not right this damn second no, but in a year or two. Why is that not good enough? I’m sorry were we all supposed to be married with multiple children before hitting 30? I didn’t get the memo, sorry that didn’t pan out, but children aren’t a requirement for my existence.

#I shouldn’t be made to feel guilty for not wanting kids #I don’t think I ever did but I never said anything when I was younger bc I thought I wasn’t allowed too #like that’s not something a girl can say #but I’m saying it now and she’s just like oh you don’t know that for sure #like yes I do #I’m in my damn 30s if I wanted kids I would have made it happen by now #I don’t want to be stuck with kids 24/7 for the rest of my life #I don’t want to take care of kids #I don’t want to pay for kids #I don’t want to teach kids things #I don’t want to watch them make mistakes #i don’t want to have to worry about them #this world sucks major ass right now and I don’t want to bring innocent children into it #bc they are going to be the ones cleaning up our mess #in my mind there are more negatives than positives when it comes to having kids #yes it’s unfair you still don’t have grandkids bc you would be great grandparents #they truly would #but it’s also u fair to guilt trip me for not having kids #you wanted children you wanted to be a mother-I can’t say the same #oh but god forbid if I say I don’t want them suddenly I’m the bad guy #I’ve done them so wrong how dare I