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bloomingonionbitch · 1 year

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Since we're sharing P!ATD stories...buckle up!

I'm originally from the Chicago suburbs (which is also an annoying personality trait) and I was 13 years old, heavily layering tank tops from Kohl's over v-neck shirts.

It's May 2008 and me and these two super cool older girls from Elmhurst (whom I met at Fine Arts Camp @ Saint Mary's College in South Bend, Indiana) went to Honda Civic Tour at the Congress Theatre in Chicago (RIP).

It was my first concert *ever* and I cannot believe how lucky I was to have it filmed. I got that hideous beige/brown Pretty.Odd sweatshirt (see attached for example) and wore it over everything because I believed I had hypohidrosis (spoiler: it was all the layered tank tops from Kohl's).

Motion City Soundtrack, Phantom Planet, and The Hush Sound were incredible openers and I have yet to have a more satisfying line up. BUT. It was at the concert that I had my first seizure! Rewind a second!

I grew up on Neopets and Flash Games and supported my friends who were really good at drawing Sonic the Hedgehog. I was on the computer *a lot.* So when the fingers in my left hand were going numb, it was dismissed as carpal tunnel - easy enough.

Now fast forward to me being such an amped up, cradle Catholic, Peggy Hill-footed teenager. I'm in ecstasy, feeling like the true Fueled By Ramen ™ teen that I knew I was inside. I'm sweaty, I'm scrunched against other people, I'm having an awakening!!!

But then my fingers go number and half of my face does too and I'm thinking it's adrenaline and hormones and Jon Walker - so I keep going. It eventually subsides, then happens again a few days later, and again, and again...for months.

Scooch ahead a little more - my mom advocates for an MRI and we get one, a then few weeks pass.

After going to ~LINCOLNSHIRE~ with my grandma and mom to see "Mama Mia" (on the day before I am set to start *THE* 8th grade), we get a call from my pediatrician that I need to go to the hospital ASAP. Turns out I have a "goober" in my brain and a "goober" is what you call a tumor when you're explaining it to a kid you helped bring into this world. Shout out to the emotional labor of doctors, for real.

I can do a "House"-style medical breakdown later and talk about my surgery/proton radiation, BUT I would much rather talk about all of my Make-A-Wish trip ideas, ripped straight outta 2008!!!

1. Visit the set of "Project Runway" and hang out with Tim Gunn.

2. A pink digital camera - literally, that was it. And you know the one I'm talking about. My Wish Granters were like....you can probably get that on your own sweetie...

3. Be on an episode of TAI TV (remember that!?) If you must know, I had big dumb crushes on Ryland and Sisky.

4. Meet Katy Perry??? (I don't know what we would have talked about or done together...I knew nothing about anything).

5. American Eage shopping spree (in retrospect, their clothes never really fit right and I only wanted to recreate the high of wearing a lace cami under a turquoise henley sweater with a pink skinny scarf at my first middle school dance - it was as much of a "Laguna Beach" moment as I could have).

- Meet Jon Walker - not all of Panic! just Jon. WILD!!!!! Imagine!!!

Dear reader...do you want to know what I chose?

A trip to Turks and Caicos! A place I had never heard of! I got my period for the first time and we could only find cardboard, "old-school" tampons and I was FREAKING OUT. I also got a wicked sunburn (Trileptal folks!) and got sick on an unlimited supply of Boursin whipped cheese spread. Two of my brothers are redheads who do not like the beach! They were so fussy! Turks and Caicos is a lot of beach!

Please please believe me, I am unbelievably thankful for my wish (and health and life and time) and the Granting team, but have any other Make-A-Wish kids spent time thinking about alllllll the other wish possibilities?

I'm not even talking about reflecting back and considering more "practical" (which is bananas to say considering the context), but just like how my interests have changed?

In high school (and probably now, too), I was kicking myself for not using my wish to meet Jason Segel? I still have a massive crush on him, but imagine them calling him up to meet a random kid who picked him as her Make-A-Wish? (This was pre "End of the Tour" and "Muppets" for him - it only was "How I Met Your Mother" and "Freaks and Geeks" for him).

I'm 15 years in remission and doing just fine! I haven't talked about (or processed) personal health stuff very much, so thanks for letting me take a moment from reblogging transparent Snoopy sticker scans and Nora Ephron film stills to reflect on the end of an era.

#tw cancer #panic! at the disco #p!atd #2008 #yall i know it's a stretch but are any of yall pediatric cancer survivors too because i have a lot of questions #thanks yall for real for real #ya girl's glonky

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